The Other Brother
Chapter 21
WARNING: this story contains sexual content, and contact between young boys. If the subject matter offends you, is not to your tastes, or if you are under legal age for your area, then find something else to read. In the following story all names and events are completely fictional. Although I may mention specific locations, places, or persons any resemblance to said people, locations, or places is completely unintentional.
Feel free to email me at ([email protected]). I respond to all of my readers.
This work is copyrighted © by Hunter Woods. No part of this story may be transmitted or reproduced in whole or in part in any form including mechanical, electronic, photocopying, and recording or by any information storage and retrieval system without the express written consent of the author. For those of you who just blow this off and decide to steal anyway keep these thoughts below in mind:
“Intentionally using the quotes of others without author attribution is plagiarism and contributes to illiteracy.”
- Rain Bojangles
“Most plagiarists, like the drone, have neither taste to select, industry to acquire, nor skill to improve, but impudently pilfer the honey ready prepared, from the hive.”
- Walter Colton
“Borrowed thoughts, like borrowed money, only show the poverty of the borrower.”
- Lady Marguerite Blessington, Countess of Blessington
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EXCERPT OPENING
The boy had both of his fingers now firmly wrapped around parts of the headboard framework as he gazed down, his bulging eyes studying everything taking place between his legs. He had a lot to work with as he shifted his hips around one moment and then switched it up as he slowly pumped his groin shoveling his thick hose in and out between my suckling lips.
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Dane gazed down between his legs and couldn’t believe how sexy hot this was tonight. He had come over to Robby’s house because he hadn’t been able to sleep. He hadn’t expected to have sex so soon after his boyfriend got out of the hospital, only coming over so he could cuddle with the older boy. He was missing him so much and the last few days had him on edge and in near tears most of the time. It had been such an emotional strain with plenty of ups and downs recently. It was only a few days ago where he had felt lonely without anyone really understanding who he was as a person until everything suddenly changed in a heartbeat when he finally found the love of his life, Robby, and having real sex for the first time. The thirteen year old boy had always known sex was something beautiful, but what he had with Robby was more than he could have ever expected.
There was such love and compassion between the two of them, and he was overwhelmed and truly happier than he’s been in a very long time. Then overnight this new found gift he was experiencing took a turn and it all seemed to change when Anatoli’s health threatened to destroy the happiness in his life. He had been so worried about the younger boy and then when Robby had volunteered a kidney he felt that gut wrenching sinking feeling as one of the greatest fears of his life gripped his entire being. Only the near death of his father had him feeling worse. He had worried not only over Anatoli now, but the true love of his life as well. He admired the older boy for his bravery, but he also feared and worried over him.
When all was said and done a great relief had settled over everyone because the surgery had been a success and it looked as if everything would turn out alright for everyone. It was indescribable just how much all of it had weighed on him, but when Robby ran his fingers over his stomach and chest he finally felt all the tension flow out of his body. It was then he realized everything would be fine and he could finally enjoy the happiness of having the older boy in his life. Once he realized this, and the anxiety left his body, it was amazing just how wonderful Robby’s hands felt all over his skin. He also no longer felt so self-conscious about his body, having gotten over that hurdle the last time around as he enjoyed having the older boy touching him down there between his legs. The heat inside of him began to boil out of his pours as he allowed himself to experience the sensuousness of the moment.
Now as he gazed down at Robby’s soft boyish features it simply amazed him at the older boy’s ability to take in his huge endowment with such ease. Every time he eased his hips forward he could see the older boy’s rosy cheeks puffing outwards and feel the older boy’s tongue doing some fancy work along his shaft. One moment it would flicker beneath his hooded valve brushing between the slit on his nozzle and the next it would slather along the bottom part of his shaft. Then he’d feel the boy’s tongue swirling around on the top side along that huge vein he always saw which started from the base of his shaft sort of on the left side where it sprouted out of his pubic mound before stretching outwards toward the tip of his penis angling more towards the center giving the thick bluish tinted vein an almost slight curvy look.
The older teen was so damn amazing and the love in Dane’s chest swelled because even though the older boy wasn’t feeling so well he made sure his younger partner’s needs were being attended to. Dane hadn’t felt like taking care of his burgeoning pubertal needs for days now, and it was finally catching up to him as he slowly made love to Robby’s lips relishing every moment of it; especially, when his raging hormones began bubbling up to the surface. He could already feel the burning sensation deep down inside of him as his toes reflexively curled up, but he tamped down the urge to let his orgasm overwhelm him so soon. He desperately wanted to fully experience the moment allowing Robby’s mouth to truly work him expertly and only in a way the older boy could achieve.
“Oh fuck Robby your lips, mouth, and tongue are so damn sexy hot. I love you.” Dane moaned affectionately as he slowly rocked his hips in a continuous forward motion seeing the older boy’s brown eyes glancing upwards dancing around merrily as if he seemed to be enjoying this moment as well.
As the younger boy professed his affectionate love for me my heart swelled and I felt at ease knowing I was providing him with something he appreciated. If my mouth wouldn’t have been so fully preoccupied I would have told him just how much I loved him too as I gazed up into his tender brown eyes which seemed to glow with such intense love. Dane was the love of my life and his eyes spoke volumes as I made sure to provide him with the proper amount of sexual gratification reading the nuances of his body language.
Slowly my mouth and tongue worked his thickness as I teased the boy nectar inside his roiling testicles. He was already beginning to crest his body glistening with sweat now as my hands were all over his body. I ran them up and down his stomach and along his chest, the next moment along his sides, before running them around to his lower back and even across his firm little rounded apples. Everything about him was sexy hot, not just that fat sausage of his; although, I had to admit it was a bit on the spicy side.
He was beginning to climax so I quickened the pace and he responded as he now felt the need to finally finish. Suddenly I felt his penis vibrate in my mouth as it fattened up even thicker before it abruptly recoiled like a rifle shot being squeezed off. I felt his small droplets of bird shot splattering against the flat surface of my tongue since I had it currently pressed up against his meaty boy slit. It wasn’t a lot, not as much as Gabe had gifted me, but more than he squirted his first time around as his body stiffened up and he moaned loudly.
“Shiii, uuumph, uumph, uuuuuuumph, uuumph,” he croaked throatily not even holding back making me wonder if my dad could hear his moans of ecstasy as his rapture ran through the entire length of his body.
I greedily swallowed down his small tasty offering noting it was still very viscous and slippery indicating his essence more than likely continued to be more transparent than the typical milky opaque tacky kind of cum most boys his age would produce by now. It didn’t matter to me because in my mind it was still at its most purest state of his boyness. I would always love his cream smoothie no matter what because it came from him, but there was only a very short period of time in a boy’s life where his sowed oats was at its most chaste state. I instinctively knew I would only have his purest essence a few more times if I’m lucky. After that it would begin to change into something different, but still just as special since it would be a part of him.
Dane had stopped making love to my mouth, his orgasm forcing all of his muscles to stiffen up as he continued to writhe around while my lips milked every last drop. Finally it was too much for him and I could feel his penis soften up in my mouth still managing to keep it filled up before I reluctantly let it slide from between my lips. The younger boy slumped into my lap pressing his soft body against me. As with Gabe I could feel his spittle covered soft floppy and warm boy bag snuggle up against my skin as I embraced him tenderly.
Dane sucked in air and settled down against Robby’s body enjoying the closeness of the older boy. The teen never ceased to amaze Dane providing him with such a wonderful orgasm which was done out of sheer love. There was no doubt in his mind the two of them were meant for one another as he slowly recovered and eased himself off the older boy not wanting to take the chance of hurting him by accident.
Dane’s body was so fucking sexy hot as I watched him climbing off to lie on his back next to me. He was stunningly beautiful with his flaccid foreskin covered three and a half inch long penis curving heavily over the top of his fleshy satchel. I watched as he reached down between his legs adjusting his thick stalk with his fingers lifting it off of his purse. I guess it had become sticky as both parts stuck to one another before he peeled them apart. He grabbed the corner of the blanket and wiped himself dry before letting go of his penis allowing it to settle back into place, this time his plump tube not sticking to his ball sack.
“Oh fuck…that was incredible.” I heard him sigh softly my cheeks blushing with embarrassment now because those were the exact words Gabe had used just a few hours ago.
Dane seemed to notice and asked me what was wrong. I was feeling a bit guilty now because I just had sex with another boy while Dane was officially my boyfriend. It’s what I had been thinking about right after I had sex with Gabe as I now bit my lower lip. I felt really awful about it. Normally I don’t talk about these sorts of things with others because I felt it was private between two people, and I wouldn’t even say anything to Dane about my previous sexual escapades even though he knew I had them, but this was somehow different. Snuggling up with him under the covers I felt it was finally time to talk to him about some things. I had only intended to tell him about the recent incident with Gabe, but somehow once I began I knew it was time to tell him about more. So I told him about Anatoli and Gabe, all of it so he could understand how I was feeling.
All my other prior sexual experiences I left out, including Crystal, but I could tell he knew there was more to it, yet somehow it didn’t really apply to this situation so he seemed to accept it. Gabe and Anatoli were different though because they were now so deeply rooted into my every day life just like Dane. Of course the two younger boys were an integral part of my life; especially, Anatoli since he was my ‘Other Brother, but my deepest connection was with Dane.
“Dane I’m really sorry about Gabe. It shouldn’t have happened; especially, since we are…um…you know…officially a couple.” I sighed apologetically.
The boy’s brown eyes gazed into mine as he smiled reaching out and fondly stroking my cheek. “Did he enjoy it?” He asked puzzling me because it wasn’t a question I expected.
“Um…yeah…I’m pretty sure. I mean he…um…well…you know…his body sort of gave it away that it enjoyed what happened.” I chuckled nervously hearing him laughing and shaking his head.
“Yeah well you sort of have that affect on people. I mean you said he seemed to need it, right?” He asked with me nodding my head baffled at why he wasn’t yelling at me for the betrayal. “Well if he was feeling anything like me then yeah, I suppose he needed it badly.”
“You're not mad, I mean even about Anatoli?” I asked as he scrunched up his face.
“Robby, of course I’m not mad. I mean I get it with Anatoli. There’s something very special there…this whole getting deathly sick and the transplant is proof enough. I won’t be mad at something which I know will be there forever Robby. As for Gabe I love him like a brother too. He’s been kind, gentle, and a real friend. Yeah, it’s kind of weird I guess because we are boyfriends, but I suppose I sort of understand it too. I’m sure you being his first will be something he will always carry with him just like me.” He sighed smiling at me affectionately as he got a bit cheeky now. “Besides, he really is sexy hot so I’m sure he’s ‘hard’ to resist.” He emphasized as I rolled my eyes.
“Geeze all you guys are going to be the death of me.” I teased back, but he didn’t seem to appreciate the humor shaking his head.
“I hope not Robby. Let’s not do something so scary again. One terrifying incident like Anatoli is enough for a lifetime. First it was my dad, then Anatoli, and now you. This better be the last of it.” He insisted as I pulled him closer holding him tightly as we fell silent in our own thoughts until we both fell asleep our bodies simply too exhausted to stay awake anymore.
The start to another day finally stirred me awake with grayish winter light spilling into my room. I’ve always been an early riser, which I suppose only made sense because I was used to getting up and starting in on the tasks of keeping the ranch squared away. With the surgery though I haven’t been able to take care of things around the place so Dane’s picked up some of the slack doing the bulk of the winter time work. During the winter months things tended to settle down a bit, but there was still always plenty to do on a ranch.
Rolling on to my side I gazed down at the sleek slumbering brown haired boy snuggled up close to me his body huddled under the warm covers. This was a holiday weekend, Martin Luther King Day, and it’s been about a week and a half since the surgery and the nice blowjob I gave Dane with the younger teen managing to sneak over several times in the night so we could snuggle up together. It was so sweet how he couldn’t seem to be parted from me for long periods of time as he doted over my every move out of concern. These days I was moving around more freely without much discomfort. There was still some bruising around my naval, but even this had healed up for the most part.
I had even gone back to school returning to my normal routine for the most part minus the activities. I had promptly quit the wrestling team to the total dismay of my coach and team mates since this had simply come out of the blue for them; especially, since I was on track to State Champion again. To confuse matters more I had missed several days of classes, which had many of them wondering what was going on with me.
The whole kidney transplant had been something I didn’t want others to know about because I didn’t want them to treat me or Anatoli any differently. So other than the people closest to me who were already aware about it, no one else did other than the school Principal and nurse. We had asked everyone who knew to please keep it confidential since I didn’t want it to become a big issue. In these parts people knew how to keep their mouths shut. Of course it was a small community and people tended to know one another’s business, but when a secret needed to be kept most people around here could always be counted on to keep their mouths tightly shut.
It would be the toughest for Anatoli though because even though he was discharged from the hospital yesterday he would still miss a few more weeks of classes. At least his absence could be accounted for with everyone understanding he had been laid up with that nasty flew. The younger boy being absent from classes for another couple of weeks only made sense because people knew how bad the flu had actually been in some cases.
The truth for Anatoli though is it was safer for him not to be around so many people at first since his immune system was still a bit run down. His speedy recovery had amazed the doctors as his body seemed to rebound quickly from not only the devastation of the flu, but also from the invasiveness of a major surgery. These days the younger boy was almost back to his normal self, but did seem to be a bit depressed. Of course the flu had thrown him for a loop so he was still a bit sore from the surgery and couldn’t get around all too well yet.
Glancing down at Dane’s peaceful slumbering form my lips curved upwards into a silly grin because I never got tired of staring at him while he slept as I ran my fingers through his espresso brown colored wavy locks. He kept his hair cut short all around the ears and the back leaving it a bit longer on top, which I was able to enjoy now while I twirled my fingers through them. At thirteen going on fourteen he still had that youthful appearance as if his body refused to enter puberty which normally created those more stark and angular features. In a way I appreciated his more childlike appearance because it was indicative of how he would probably retain his youthful appearance throughout his lifetime.
Dipping my hand beneath the covers I allowed my fingers to trace lightly down his well honed chest and firm stomach. His wiry body was very fit and even though he had a long lanky look there was most definitely musculature just beneath the surface of his deceptively smooth skin. The boy had strength; the hours, days, weeks, and months of work on the ranch polishing his muscles which weren’t bulky, but rather compact in a solid dense kind of way just beneath the surface of his skin.
These days if Dane was confronted by those bullies from last summer he’d make short work of them for sure. In a way it was kind of sad because the family run paper had finally gone under, but it had been their own fault with people in these parts having finally gotten fed up with their pompous attitude. The family ended up having to pack up and leave for the city to try finding jobs of their own. It’s strange, but no one even seemed to miss them and it was as if they had never really existed in the community to begin with, most people simply forgetting them altogether.
The thirteen year old boy moaned softly in his sleep as my fingers now ran across his smooth hairless slate just above his thick soft dowel. When Dane spent the night in my bed I’d always wake him up tenderly as I eagerly explored his smooth sleek body with my fingers. He always turned me on, his sexiness almost too much for me to handle at times. I’ve pleasured him on numerous occasions now since the first night he slipped into my bed after the surgery, but still hadn’t been ready for him to return the favor. I knew by this time I was healed enough for him to pleasure me as well, but for some reason I had held back a bit to his utter frustration.
The other night when he had tried to reciprocate, and I had stopped him before things got carried away, he had promptly announced that until I allowed him to have fun with me too and provide me with pleasure then he was off limits as well. He even went so far as to indicate this meant he wouldn’t jack off or anything since I wasn’t either. It was so damn cute how he was now using sex against me; not in a mean spirited way, but rather to show solidarity I suppose with the situation. We were in love and he only wanted to share in the love with me and not simply be the one in taking pleasure in the relationship. Of course I figured he’d simply jack off or whatever when he was alone, but I could tell he was holding firm with his proclamation just because of the subtle ways his body would react.
These days he was most definitely extremely horny and often complained about blue balls, which made me chuckle and point out he could take care of it easily enough. The boy would then grunt dismissively as he tried to grope at me in order to initiate some sexual foreplay, which I didn’t mind, but always managed to hold him off at the critical moments which seemed to frustrate him even more.
The situation would have been funny if it wasn’t kind of serious because he was beginning to worry about me. I assured him it wasn’t him, but rather me not being ready yet. I suppose it is difficult to understand how a normal teenager simply wasn’t ready anymore to have sex at the drop of the hat. It wasn’t as if being close to him and feeling his wonderful hands all over my body didn’t get me hornier than a Viking’s helmet or a three balled tomcat. He always managed to get me hard down there, but something inside of me held back encouraging me to wait for the right moment.
Now as my fingers wrapped around his flaccid penis I could feel myself getting hard and excited. He never ceased to amaze me at just how thick he was down there. It almost felt as if my fingers were wrapping around a very large and thick sized banana from the grocery store. Even now as I slowly skinned his foreskin over the tip of his mushroom shaped nozzle it reminded me of a banana being peeled back to reveal its scrumptious edible meaty fruit.
The sexy boy responded to my touch and his eyes slowly fluttered open as he rolled me on my back. He draped his body over mine as he passionately kissed me hungrily and slurped on my lips while sucking the breath out of my lungs. I could feel his erection pressing up against my own smaller one with his heavy ball sack spreading across mine. Having his body pressed up against me like this felt so succulently delicious as he tenderly ground his hips into me being careful not to place too much weight on me.
My fingers traced along his back and over his smooth rounded apple shaped butt cheeks. I loved how his ass felt and looked as I recalled that special moment together just before the incident with Anatoli. Slipping my sleek four and a quarter inch erection inside of him had been the most incredible experience of my life and I knew that soon I would experience it once more. It was a memory I would always cherish because it was truly the moment I realized the two of us were meant to be together forever.
Sighing I broke off our kiss with Dane chuckling and shaking his head because he was horny as fuck and I was still not ready. “Soon Dane, just give me a little more time. I promise it won’t be long now.” I smiled at him as he rolled on to his back nodding his head and smiling at me lopsidedly.
Glancing down I chuckled and reached out pulling his foreskin back over the tip of his glans which looked extremely swollen because it hadn’t been siphoned off. He noticed it too and laughed with me because it was not only bloated, but also very purple, looking more like a ripe plum now than a mushroom.
“Shit for real Robby, we better do something here soon or I’m afraid my little stick is doing to detonate.” He teased.
I snorted, “Yeah well it’ll be one huge explosion because that’s a full sized stick of dynamite.” I laughed with him grinning.
“Yup, and by the time it explodes it’ll be more like the size of yours, a quarter of a stick of dynamite.” He teased back with me scrunching up my face and punching him in the arm.
“Hey, I’m not that small.” I grumped with him shrugging his shoulders and grinning mischievously.
“I wouldn’t know since I haven’t been able to touch it these days to gauge its size.” He teased sticking his tongue at me while I shook my head knowing he was only kidding.
Rolling towards him on my side, I reached out and once more traced along his sleek naked body. He looked so damn deliciously sexy all boned up and huge down there between his legs as my fingers began to fondle him tenderly. Dane didn’t say anything closing his eyes and enjoying the intimacy.
“I can’t come over later tonight.” He whispered his chest rising as he took a deep breathe and let it out softly the skin on his body trembling and getting goose bumps all over because I was making him feel really good down there.
“Alright,” I replied not offended figuring he probably had a good reason. After all he couldn’t come over every night.
“It’s just tomorrow my dad has another doctor’s appointment to determine when he is going to have his next surgery.” He offered up.
“Oh, how’s he doing?” I asked out of concern having gotten to know his dad a bit more now that he was home and so was I.
“Actually really good all things considered, thanks for asking.” He responded his eyes slightly opening up as he gazed down at himself because I was slowly skinning his foreskin exposing his slicked up sensitive purple colored nozzle.
“You know its Anatoli’s birthday tomorrow and I was planning on throwing him a small birthday party. It’ll only be a few of us since he needs to be careful about getting around too many people. Does this mean you won’t be able to make it?” I asked a bit sad if he missed it.
“Nah, it’s why I can’t come over tonight. Dad changed his appointment to the first thing in the morning so I can be here for Anatoli’s birthday. It’s just since his appointment is so early I need to stay home tonight so we can get up and going in the morning.” He explained while I smiled and nodded my head hearing him sigh and crawl out of bed with his erection swaying around and actually drooping heavily in front of him since his shaft was fully engorged with blood.
He really did have a sexy body as I watched him for a moment or two while he got dressed before I climbed out as well. Dane’s eyes kept flittering over my naked body as well taking note of how I was healing up. His lips curled up into a sly grin as he saw me trying to tuck away my erection inside of my boxer briefs before I slipped into a pair of jeans. I smiled back noticing him trying to shove that thick piece of banana sized erection into his tightie whities with it pocking past the hem of his underwear around his waist. We both giggled as we finished getting dressed and cleaned up before heading out for some breakfast.
Dad had shifted his schedule around a bit so he worked the morning shift and was home early enough in the evening so we could enjoy dinner together. Since we usually got up early in the morning we were able to enjoy breakfast together as well before he had to leave for work. The first night Dane had snuck over my dad surprised us both in the morning by giving us breakfast in bed and winking at Dane saying by the sounds of things someone needed a hearty meal. Of course Dane had blushed about thirty shades of red with me doing about only ten. I had to give my dad credit with how well he was handling my relationship with another boy.
My dad’s support made it easier for me to accept actually being gay. It’s one thing to acknowledge a friend being gay, but I was finding out how actually discovering I was gay too was a bit different than being understanding of others being this way. Even though I accepted it, I still felt a little confused about my relationship with Dane and could tell he felt the same way sometimes. We both loved each other deeply; there was no doubt about it, but at times we were still tentative about our relationship together and how it was going to affect things in the future. This sort of thing was never easy, but I knew deep down the two of us were meant to be together so nothing else mattered.
After Dane left it was another boring day for me since I really couldn’t do much around the ranch. I was restricted with how much I was allowed to lift as I puttered around trying to keep a little busy. I spent some time brushing down Amber and letting her out a bit in the small fenced off open area so she could amble around. The mare had been cooped up lately so was more than happy to frolic around in the chill winter air.
Since it was Saturday both Donavan and Gabe came by to visit with me. Donavan could only visit for a short while so he dropped by with his ATV while Gabe drove his Suzuki using the back trails to get here. The younger boy seemed kind of bummed saying he had wanted to visit with Anatoli too since his friend got home yesterday, but the Markowsky’s said he needed to rest for now. I felt for Gabe because I could tell something deeper was beginning to form between the two younger boys which began at the hospital when to my surprise Anatoli actually allowed his friend to grope him. It hadn’t been one of those playful kinds either, the ones typical with most boys who simply goof around. Rather, it had been intimate with both boys enjoying the moment together.
Gabe’s news concerned me too because after the surgery it was as if both of Anatoli’s parents had become a bit overprotective. Even when we visited in the hospital they tended to hover and it seemed to make Anatoli a bit nervous about it; especially, since he’s become used to having way more freedom at the ranch. It made me begin to wonder now if they would even allow Anatoli to come over tomorrow so we could celebrate his birthday together with a small group of us. Even though it was in the middle of winter time I wanted to have a BBQ feast for Anatoli since he loved that sort of thing.
He always had a good appetite, but with the flu and of course his kidney shutting down he hadn’t been eating hardly anything at all. Now though with his kidneys once more regulating properly he had regained his appetite and was eating like a rabid dog. Of course his diet had changed a little, but for the most part he could still eat what he wanted. He just had to monitor more closely his sodium and potassium intake due to some of his medications along with watching for weight gain, which I doubted would be an issue once he became his old active self.
Even though I was concerned about Anatoli’s party I had assured Gabe everything was still a go. Donavan stayed for about an hour with Gabe staying a bit longer before also saying he had to get back. His mom wanted to make sure he headed home several hours before it even got dark taking no chances in case his motorcycle broke down or something, which made sense to me because it was cold outside.
Right after the younger boy left I was finally able to kick back and relax a little sighing and thinking about maybe catching a shower when my phone rang. Answering I immediately became alarmed because it was Anatoli on the other end and he was crying so hard I couldn’t even make out everything he was trying to say. All I knew was he seemed to be very upset so I tried to calm him down. He wasn’t making any sense so I told him I was coming right over and we could talk about what was bothering him then. Hanging up the phone I grabbed my jacket and keys and hurried outside.
Jumping in my beat up truck it only took me about five minutes to drive over to his place. Anatoli’s father answered the door when I knocked and had a shocked look on his face. He hesitated a moment, but before he could speak up I slipped past him and made my way over to Anatoli’s room. I stepped into his warm bedroom noticing Mrs. M kneeling by his bed trying to console the distraught boy while he tried to shove her away. The room was actually stifling hot and it made me wonder how he could stand it since he was dressed in a warm pair of pajamas. Anatoli’s mom seemed beside herself and looked haggard as if she hadn’t slept in weeks, and I could imagine she literally hadn’t.
“Anatoli?” I spoke out furling my eyes with concern as I looked around his room.
It hadn’t changed much at all looking like a typical kid’s room with a few toys lying around and some paintings up on the wall along with a few posters. It was a fairly neat and tidy room with just a few clothes scattered around. I’m sure Mrs. Markowsky always picked up a bit after the boy, but I also knew she would get on him every once in a while like a typical mother to tidy up after himself.
“Robby,” I heard him croak out in-between sobs as he held his arms out towards me.
His face was all red and sweaty with puffy eyes from crying so hard. It alarmed me because even though his wound was probably healed up fairly well he could still hurt himself if he didn’t settle down. Making my way quickly over to the boy I wrapped my arms around his small body feeling him trembling and shake as a sob escaped his lips. I sat on the floor and rocked him gently hearing Mrs. Markowsky sigh in relief as I glanced towards her questioningly.
Reaching out and patting my shoulder she basically shook her head unsure what had him so upset. I heard her groan softly as she got up off the floor and made her way to the bedroom door. When I glanced back I saw her wrapping her arm around her husband who looked just as troubled before she shut it behind us. I could see Mr. Markowsky begin to protest just before the door was closed, but Mrs. M shook her head indicating it would be alright.
Sighing I climbed up on Anatoli’s bed and snuggled up next to the younger boy. Lying on my left side I slipped my left arm under his neck supporting his head and pulled him closer to me with my right arm draped over the front of him as we spooned together. He was still sniffling softly in my arms as I pressed my face next to his noticing how warm and damp it had become. Closing my eyes I inhaled deeply, his familiar scent washing over me, the love for the little guy swelling inside my chest. He always had a way of affecting me in such a calming yet exciting way. I felt his body slowly begin to calm down in my arms as I continued to hold him tenderly.
Within moments the entire room fell silent as I turned my neck and kissed his cheeks affectionately. “Feeling better?” I whispered settling my cheek next to his feeling the curly haired boy nodding his head while I gently ran my hand over his pajama covered chest.
“So?” I asked with Anatoli shifting his head and craning his neck to glance towards me questioningly. “What’s got you all riled up and threatening to upset that kidney I’ve been so gracious enough to gift you.” I stated a bit firmly with an undertone of teasing getting him to grin and shake his head.
“It…it’s just…everything’s different.” He inhaled his chest rising and his breathe catching in his chest creating that sort of hitch we all get from time to time when we suck in air too fast.
“I know.” I whispered back feeling his head shake from side to side.
“No you don’t understand. I mean mom and dad…it’s…I mean…they are treating me like some little baby.” He croaked out in his thick accent trying to stifle his sniffles while I remained silent letting him calm down again.
With him still wrapped up safely in my arms he continued to whimper a bit before beginning to tell me what was really bothering him. Evidently his dad told him he wouldn’t be able to come over tomorrow for the small party I had planned saying it was too much of a risk for getting sick. That was just one example because it was like his parents were constantly hovering over him not allowing the boy to do anything on his own. They constantly nagged him about his surgery saying he needed to be careful about anything and everything. It was all the little things which were beginning to get on his nerves; especially, since he had gotten used to having more freedom and independence. They wouldn’t even allow him to take a shower, and he was beginning to feel all gross even though his mom would give him a sponge bath. This was another issue because it was downright embarrassing for him even though she only cleaned him from the waist up.
He kept rambling on about all sorts of things with how his parents were already placing all these restrictions on him for the future. Even I began to become upset because if these limitations had been imposed on me I’d go out of my mind. Just because he had a kidney transplant didn’t mean his normal life was over with forever. The more he talked the more it made me furl my eyebrows with worry because if we didn’t nip this in the bud now it would spin totally out of control.
“Come-on,” I groaned climbing over him and standing up.
“What?” He asked suspiciously.
“You’ve got to get up and walk to strengthen your muscles or you will stiffen up silly.” I chuckled knowing he hadn’t really been moving around and exercising like he should have been doing after the surgery since he was so sick and frail.
Now though it was more important than ever he try to get his strength back up. It’s been long enough that his surgery cuts should be pretty much healed, but his muscles would cramp up and not rebound as well if he didn’t try working them a bit. I could see the pain etched across his features and his brow bead up with sweat when I helped him stand up on wobbly legs. He hissed in pain for a moment as an aching twinge along his abdomen made him grimace for several seconds due to the movement, but it passed quickly and he sighed in relief nodding his head indicating he was alright. I didn’t hold on to him; instead, allowing him to place a hand on my shoulders for support. This allowed him to have a bit of stability while also using his own strength for the most part as we slowly made our way out into the main part of the house.
Anatoli’s parents were sitting in the living room and when Mr. Markowsky looked up his eyes bulged out with him immediately bolting out of his chair concern etched over his features. He started towards us, but I held up my hand indicating he should stop while also glaring at him forcefully. The man stopped in his tracks looking at me a bit confused for a moment before his features changed. I could tell he was upset and was about to say something when Mrs. M placed her hand on top of her husband’s arm shaking her head effectively calming him down a bit. The last few steps into the living room Anatoli dropped his hand from my shoulder and managed to walk on his own without too much difficulty. Having just gone through something similar I could tell his muscles were loosening up. It had been my experience once I began moving around it sort of became easier and didn’t hurt as much until of course I got tired. Then I’d have to sit down and relax allowing my muscles to calm down because sometimes they began to spasm.
“So,” I began, smiling at Mrs. M pleasantly since I knew her better. “I’ve been talking to Anatoli and it seems like he’s got a bit of cabin fever.” I grinned allowing Mrs. M to translate to her husband before continuing. “Anyway, we’ve decided since it is his birthday tomorrow that he might as well come over to my place and spend the night.” I added not making it a debate, but rather indicating the decisions been made already.
My eyes darted over towards Anatoli whose mouth had dropped open for a split second in complete shock at my statement before he had enough sense to close it shut. The boy immediately understood what I was up to so reverted to a more convincing stern look on his face indicating that indeed the decision had been mutually made. There was a brief pause in reaction while Mrs. M translated to her husband who then immediately stiffened up flashing me an angry look and emphatically shook his head.
“No!” I heard him say in English, the finality in his gruff deep tone shaking the very foundations of the old cabin while the two of us squared off.
The air in the room became stifling as the tensions increased because I glared back at the imposingly huge man standing in front of me. It was Mrs. M’s light touch on the man’s arm who suddenly made him back off slightly. He glanced down at his wife and started talking rapidly and pointing towards me and Anatoli while his wife nodded her head sympathetically before shushing him politely in a calm voice.
Anatoli leaned towards me and began telling me what his father was saying. “My dad says it isn’t possible because even now you shouldn’t be over here without a mask on. You could get me sick.” The blond curly boy looked at me shrugging his shoulders while I stared back at him in disbelief before glancing over to his father who had a smug look on his face.
My eyes kept darting back and forth for a second or two because the statement was so ludicrous before I abruptly belted out laughing so hard I had to bend over and gasp for air. It was so unexpected that everyone stared at me as if I were off my rocker while I held up my hand indicating for them to give me a moment while I got my giggles under control looking at Mrs. M and shaking my head.
“You’re joking right. I mean the kid’s got my kidney inside of him. If I were contagious he’d be dead by now.” I chuckled realizing in some ways it wasn’t so funny, but it was the truth. “For Pete’s sake already…just because he’s had a kidney transplant doesn’t mean his normal life is over with. You can’t keep him all cooped up like this so yes, he’s coming with me.” I managed to get serious at the end folding my arms insistently.
If anything I only managed to get Mr. Markowsky riled up even more with Anatoli biting his lower lip nervously and translating once more. “My father says you are only a boy and have no say in the matter. Anatoli is our son and will do what he is told.” The man responded in turn with finality.
It even seemed to catch Mrs. M by surprise who instinctively reached out to her husband placing her hand on his arm trying to calm him down. He wasn’t having any of it though because he glared at me stubbornly. I was about to respond saying he was being unreasonable, but Anatoli’s mom spoke up softly to her husband.
Glancing over towards Anatoli he nodded his head towards his mom. “She is telling my dad he’s being unfair to you. You are no ordinary boy, but my ‘Other Brother,’ and as such he must allow you to have a say in the matter. Besides, he is wrong because you are no boy, but a man who has proven this over time in the way you have cared and taken care of our family. The final proof of you being a man was when you provided me with your kidney. If we were tied to you before we are even more so now because I am literally carrying a part of you inside of me. She’s reminding him that without you I would probably no longer be alive and doing so well.” Anatoli translated placing his hand gently on my arm with tears flowing down his cheek.
“She’s right Robby…and I really am grateful for…for everything. I…I don’t think I’ve told you that yet.” He began to lose control and cry openly in front of everyone as tears flowed down my cheeks too.
Stepping up to him I wrapped my arms around him in a tender loving embrace feeling his body shake in response to our close contact. “Oh Anatoli please don’t cry.” I whispered softly in his ear feeling the boy returning my embrace and holding me tightly.
The poor kid was like an emotional rollercoaster wreck. I wasn’t sure if it was the after effects of coming so close to death and surviving, or if it was something more. I began to suspect it could be his medications. He was on so many of them with all sorts of side effects, and I’m sure over time they would fine tune them, but I would have to talk to my dad about it to see what he thought. Slowly Anatoli calmed down and blushed a bit embarrassed by his sudden disturbing outburst in such a public fashion. Loosening my grip on him the boy nodded indicating he was fine now.
Turning towards the Markowsky’s I sighed shaking my head. “Listen, please don’t keep Anatoli all caged up and squirreled away in the cabin. I know you are worried, but he’s fine and getting stronger everyday. If you keep him cooped up in here away from his friends and regular activities you might as well put a gun to his head and put him out of his misery. He’s bored to death and needs to get out in some fresh air.” I appealed seeing Mrs. Markowsky smiling at me sympathetically while her husband frowned, but didn’t say much else as his wife translated to him.
Anatoli’s dad began to soften up a bit, but still looked a bit worried as he spoke sympathetically to his wife shaking his head and gesturing while I looked towards the younger boy who began to translate. “My dad is worried about all the different kinds of medication I have to take at the appropriate times. Not to mention all the things we have to do like taking my temperature twice a day, once early morning and then later in the afternoon, along with my blood pressure. Then there’s the issue of recording my fluid intake and output.” He blushed and glanced towards me because they were talking about having to measure his urine.
These are things I was familiar with because I had read up on what Anatoli would need to do for a while once he got home. At least his catheter had been removed already and because of how well the surgery went Dr. Steinitz hadn’t even bothered with inserting a stint saying everything looked good and evidently it was since the younger boy almost from day one was urinating.
Then there were common sense things we needed to be careful about so he wouldn’t risk getting an infection of some sort. Things like making sure to wash his hands, wear a mask in certain situations, and of course taking his medication which he will be on for the rest of his life. In addition, the first several months he would be required to visit the transplant clinic twice a week, but since this was a holiday weekend he didn’t have to go in until Tuesday unless odd symptoms presented itself. If this happened then he needed to go in right away.
Suddenly the younger boy seemed to perk up and grin as he translated what his mom was saying. “Oh this is good Robby. Mom is reminding my dad that your father will be home from work soon and he has the rest of the holiday weekend off. Who else better to be there to look after me than a doctor? Besides, we haven’t been alone for a long time now and with Anatoli…,” the younger boy blushed his cheeks burning red as he looked towards me furtively while I sort of read between the lines.
It didn’t take a rocket scientist to realize the couple had been apart for over six months now. I was fairly certain there hadn’t been any intimate alone time between the two of them because of how sick Anatoli had been since his father arrived. With their son being well cared for and looked after over at our place it would allow them to really have some time alone to catch up on the last six months. It seemed to do the trick because Mr. Markowsky wrapped his arm affectionately around his wife’s waist and smiled softy at her. He paused for several seconds gazing into her eyes before looking at us with my arm wrapped around his son’s shoulders before finally giving in and nodding his head. Anatoli immediately ran into his dad’s arms the two of them hugging tightly.
While Anatoli and his dad went back into the boy’s room Mrs. Markowsky took me over to the kitchen table where all his medications were spread out and began explaining everything to me. There was a sort of cheat sheet as well sitting there indicating the times to take the different medications, along with the journal, and everything else.
“Listen Robby, I know your father is knowing how to do. I will call him to being sure Anatoli can stay, yes.” She smiled with me nodding.
“Don’t worry we will take good care of him.”
“I am knowing this Robby and being glad you have come for boy. It is being difficult for Anatoli, but to be please not thinking badly of boy’s father. Anatoli different boy now from before when father now him better. Our little treasure is being almost man now…I say almost Robby because he is still boy, yes.” She emphasized letting me know that yes indeed Anatoli had matured since leaving the old country, but he was still a little boy. “We are being only concerned because…,” she paused looking at me sadly shaking her head falling silent as if she was thinking how much she wanted to say something. “Anatoli’s father…well…boy is only son, yes, understand?” She asked with me shrugging my shoulders.
“I guess…sort of.” I responded understanding how difficult it must have been for the Markowsky’s to witness their only son going through something like this and almost dying.
“Robby, it is just…when Anatoli come from me…um…being born…things was being very difficult. We…I can no have more children so Anatoli is everything to boy’s father. Anatoli is heart to father and me. He is being our very breath…understand?” She asked with me finally understanding why Anatoli’s dad was being so overprotective.
The Markowsky’s couldn’t have any more children so all their sacrifices were for their one and only child. A while back when they were over for dinner once I recalled Mrs. Markowsky telling my dad, when he had asked about it, how they had planned on having a house full of kids. She had made a comment on how it wasn’t meant to be, but they had been blessed with the most precious gift of all in Anatoli. So I knew they had wanted a large family, but it hadn’t dawned on me it never happened because evidently something medical wise happened to Mrs. Markowsky during child birth.
It was late afternoon by the time I pulled up in front of my house. The Markowsky’s had bundled up Anatoli slipping a sweater and sweatpants over his pajamas before putting on his warm jacket figuring when we got over to my place It’d be easier. Leaving his small bag of stuff in the truck the younger boy followed me over to the barn as I whistled for Amber who was in the enclosure but down by the trees and little stream. She ambled over and trotted through the gate for the warmth of the barn apparently satisfied enought with her time spent out in the open, but ready to get settled in where it was warmer.
I set about getting her all squared away with grain and hay before taking up a brush to do some quick grooming. Amber always loved being brushed down so stood there placidly while both Anatoli and I began to groom her. I had to chuckle because the boy had put on his mask and gloves looking a bit comical, with even Amber seemingly rolling her large brown eyes at the boy’s outfit, but of course it was better to be safe and not take the chance of getting infected.
Anatoli must have noticed the horse’s look as well because he grumbled at her. “What, now you are all fussy about the way someone looks who is willing to spruce you up?” He huffed indignantly while I tried to stifle a giggle.
Amber immediately responded by shaking her head and mane while her body rippled before lifting her tail and dumping a load right at Anatoli’s feet. This finally did it for me as I literally bent over in a full fit of laughter while poor Anatoli’s eyes furled in a grimace. I wasn’t sure about anything else on his face because it was covered in a mask, but his eyes turned deathly cold as he bore holes at me.
“Ungrateful beast.” The younger boy huffed making me wonder if he was referring to the Mare or me, but it really didn’t much matter because it was just too hilarious as even Anatoli began to chuckle about the whole thing.
After finishing up with Amber I got Anatoli inside noticing how he was once more so upbeat about everything. Even the color in his cheeks had returned. I could tell he was beginning to tire though so I got him out of his sweater and sweatpants ordering him to go wash his hands thoroughly while I tossed his clothes in the washer erring on the safe side. Just as Anatoli was getting settled on the sofa my dad came through the door and greeted us making sure to give the younger boy a quick medical once over. Satisfied that he was doing just fine he studiously recorded everything in the journal, checked over the medications and the schedule, and then allowed us to relax while he began to fix supper.
Just the short time outside with Amber had the younger boy a bit spent and he began to nod off while he watched a program on the television set. Getting up off the couch I smiled at the younger boy knowing his spent state was a healthy one because he had moved around a bit getting some much needed activity. Walking into the kitchen I began helping my dad. He was preparing something simple and basic, but knew it was a meal I had always enjoyed; grilled cheese sandwiches along with some leftover home made soup which had my mouth watering.
Glancing over into the living room to make sure Anatoli was still dozing I spoke up. “Dad can I ask you something?”
“Yeah sure…what’s up?” He asked while I got down some bowls and paper plates setting them on the dining room table.
“I was just wondering about some of the side effects from Anatoli’s medication. I mean you should have seen him at home. He was an emotional wreck crying really hard and all. I’ve never seen him so upset where he ever cried. I mean you know him…he’s always smiling and upbeat even when he’s having a bad day. It didn’t just happen once, but a couple of times.” I added with my dad nodding.
“Hmmm, could be a side effect from his prednisone. It’s a steroid which helps to prevent and treat rejection of his kidney transplant. One of the side effects is mood changes, but I’m sure once the transplant facility starts getting a better idea of his blood work they will be able to regulate his dosage. At least I don’t see any other side effects like Anatoli getting what they call “moon face,” you know rounded puffy cheeks.” He chuckled a bit mirthfully.
“Yeah,” I chuckled shaking my head. “He’s too cute as it is, but with puffy cheeks people will want to squeeze them for sure.” I joked with my dad nodding his head in agreement before getting serious.
“There are plenty of other side effects we need to watch out for with all of his medications. There’s a list of them with a description of his medication so look them over. If you notice anything on the list we need to make sure to record them. I’ll be sure to log his emotional state from when you were over at his house. It’s important we track them, but it is also important we look for any signs of infection, colds, or any number of those things which need to be addressed immediately. Any of the other things let’s just be safe and record them so the transplant office can look it over. It’ll help them to regulate his medication.” He smiled reassuringly indicating most of this stuff is just a formality to be on the safe side.
The chances of me getting Anatoli sick were remote, but just to be safe I made sure to hop in the shower and scrub down really well before climbing under the covers with the younger boy. It was early, but he was already nodding off by the time I crawled under the blanket completely naked and curling up with him. I had been missing being able to get all cozy and snuggled up tightly with the adorably cute little blond curly haired boy. His familiar scent washed over me as I breathed him in, a small little teardrop escaping from the corner of my eye. Feeling his warmth and breathing in his scent reminded me of just how close I had come to losing the boy forever.
A sudden pang of loss and loneliness gripped my insides for a moment as I stifled my emotions swallowing down my sniffles. I missed my mom and brother something awful, and having come so close to losing another person I loved in my life was almost too much to handle. I hadn’t thought much about it since everything began, but now with the younger boy curled up comfortably in my arms and his warm body snuggled up softly against mine, it was starting to weigh on me as the reality set in. Before he had entered my life I was doing alright, but I realized I had been only living my life and not truly appreciating and enjoying it like a boy my age should. Of course I had been happy enough in my own way, but I realized now it had been a kind of empty existence.
It wasn’t until Anatoli showed up with his easy going manner, quick smile, and quirky sense of humor when my own life truly began to blossom. Something had changed inside of me almost from the instant I laid eyes on him when I had almost shut the door in his face. He had been a bit shy with an air of superiority at first, but it was immediately evident this was more due to the uncertainties, doubts, and uneasiness of moving to a new country leaving behind everything he knew. The two of us had immediately taken to one another as we sized each other up with something deep inside of me easing into place giving me a warm and fuzzy feeling about everything in general. When the curly haired boy was around everything always felt right.
There was an open quality about the younger boy I truly appreciated, but beneath his easy going mannerism there was also a bit of mystery with things he kept closed off to everyone except himself. Over time most everything was revealed as he finally opened up to me completely, which culminated in the most intimate kind of sharing two people can show one another. It had been a beautiful moment between the two of us, but also one I knew we couldn’t maintain, not in that kind of way. For Anatoli though it was different, sharing himself with me in a sexual way had more to do with our relationship as “Other Brothers.” He loved me, but understood in his own way it wasn’t the kind like a real couple. Not like what I now had with Dane.
At the time when I had sex with the younger curly haired blond boy Dane and I weren’t a couple, but I had still felt bad about it thinking I had taken advantage of Anatoli. The way I had been brought up in our culture I viewed such an act as being wrong, but for Anatoli he saw things differently. As my “Other Brother,” we shared a deeper kind of relationship than simply being mere friends. It allowed us to explore things in a deeper kind of way without any shame or guilt associated with such acts. In his mind even though we weren’t a couple, the love we had for one another was still a precious one and he didn’t find anything wrong with sharing such intimacy to show our feelings.
For me though I was still conflicted and confused. Deep down I knew he was right in regards to the close relationship we had as “Other Brothers” and what this meant to our relationship. I instinctively knew for the two of us some of these so called norms of society didn’t apply to us. It was still difficult for me to wrap my mind around sometimes because of the way I was raised in our cultural society to view such things as not being right.
This thought made me chuckle as I remembered a valuable lesson from Anatoli all those many months ago about what it meant to be an “Other Brother.” At the time he had that cute accent, which was still very prevalent in the way he spoke today, but back then there had also been the quirky halting kind of English as he struggled with the words. It had been too adorably cute with me now closing my eyes vividly recalling his stumbling English, quirky accent, and everything about that one special moment. Even now it echoed in my memories as I reminisced with my lips curling upwards:
“I luv you more…‘little Other Brother,’ so very…very much.” I had told Anatoli recalling the way we were cuddled together enjoying each other’s embrace before he leaned back shaking his head and scrunching his face.
“No ‘little Other Brother,’ simply ‘Other Brother,’ Robby. ‘Other Brother’ equal. It is being rare the finding of ‘Other Brother,’ it is being gift for you and gift for me…so must be…um…treasured…yes.” He had explained with me blushing since I hadn’t intended to have insulted the boy.
“Sorry Anatoli…I didn’t mean anything by it…just trying to understand it more…you know…wrap my mind around it.” I tried to clarify, the younger boy chuckling and shaking his head.
“No wrap mind around,” he had giggled poking his finger on my forehead for emphasis. “Only wrap heart around…then all clear, yes.” He explained placing the palm of his hand affectionately across my chest.
Nodding my head I had exhaled softy and smiled fondly at the boy because he was so very adorably sweet and indeed a treasure. “Yes…I feel it.” I had admitted my response pleasing the boy as he once more hugged me.
It was a fond memory with me slowly accepting our relationship for what it was, and not the way our Western culture tries to shove down our throats. It was bad enough how our society viewed gays even though these days it was more accepted, but they also had a skewed view of boys being sexual creatures and willing to explore their sexuality with another boy. Even in this regard there were double standards with those who accepted such notions of boy on boy sexual behavior yet believing once a boy had sex with another boy this was it for them. How was it alright for there to be multiple heterosexual partners in one’s lifetime, yet when it came to sex between two boys some think there shouldn’t be any other sexual encounters allowed? We were after all growing and learning about our sexuality with one another just like regular heterosexual partners.
In my school a boy falls in love with one girl only to figure out it wasn’t love after all and moves on to another girl. It was only natural at our age. I knew plenty of guys in my school who have fallen in love fooling around sexually with the female persuasion and plenty of those girls ended up losing their virginity in the process. This was something very precious for a girl, yet it didn’t mean the two were now forevermore bound together as a couple.
As a gay boy I was discovering this was true for us as well. Just because two gay boys performed a very intimate act with each other, like allowing another boy to penetrate him; didn’t necessarily mean the two boys were tied together now forever. Just like teenaged heterosexual couples falling in love one moment only to realize it wasn’t meant to be; those involving boy on boy encounters were no different. As teenagers we hook up in an intimate way with one person it being very serious yet if something else came along it didn’t mean that our other brain didn’t take over with us going at it with the other person as well.
Of course there were plenty of hypocrites out there who believed otherwise thinking it was somehow different for teenaged gay couples. It baffled me how there could be so many idiots out there in this regard with them somehow believing it is so different for gay teenaged couples. Just like any other teenagers many of us are still trying to figure things out, and for most of us it was almost a given that we’d all have sex at the drop of a hat. What occurs in the teenaged heterosexual boy world was not much different for a teenaged gay boy where relationships and sex were involved; that is other than most of us keeping such actions and relationships to ourselves for fear of reprisals from our peers.
It had taken me a while to even figure out it was boys I preferred. In the meantime I’ve had several sexual partners with both girls and boys. Why do some people find such actions disgusting and revolting when it came to a gay boy, yet don’t give it a second thought when it is someone who is heterosexual. I began to realize there were so many hypocrites in our society, and it wasn’t just from those who are heterosexual, but rather also those from the gay community with their air of superiority and attitudes.
Even before Dane and I had officially became a couple I had begun to pay attention to some of the whispering behind so called closed doors from people I knew who were gay. I suppose I’ve known deep down I was gay too so had begun to gravitate towards friends who I knew were homosexual trying to come to terms with what it may mean for someone like me. I began to realize even in the gay community there were prejudices imposed by our Western societal views, and they would never be able to accept such a relationship I had with both Dane and Anatoli. Even Gabe had a unique place in my heart; although, I knew this sort of activity between us would fade away while with Anatoli it would probably always be some sort of fixture in my life.
After I had sex with Anatoli for real that very first time I had such a horrible guilty feeling about it. I thought it was because of our age difference, which in some ways it still factored in I suppose. There was a three year difference between us, which at our young age was a big gap, but I knew as we got older it wouldn’t be such a big issue.
Our first real sexual interaction happened only a few weeks ago so officially he had only been eleven, but in my mind it had been close enough to his birthday to really say he was twelve years old since it was tomorrow. I began to remember what it was like for me right around the time I was twelve years old. Most of my friends at about this time had been raging hormonal sex fiends wanting to get off in any way possible, while for me puberty hadn’t taken such a hold on me yet. Everyone was different and I guess Anatoli was starting to enter into puberty which of course only heightened matters for him. I suppose in normal circumstance the age thing would matter, but I now realized it shouldn’t factor in due to our unique relationship with one another as “Other Brothers.”
This was something I now realized, but at the time of our sexual interaction I hadn’t so of course at first the younger boy had felt betrayed in some ways by my reactions afterwards. Yet as always he was the first one to realize why I had been so cautious about it. He understood the views in our society were very different from the way he had been raised in his culture. The boy had accepted this forgiving me in the process, while once more teaching me how when it came to the two of us what our society thought didn’t matter, because we had something which was precious and deserved to be nurtured. Our love for one another was different from what I felt towards Dane, but it no less had a powerful hold over me and who I was as a person.
Taking comfort in Anatoli’s words and actions now from all those months ago my mind began to settle down. When it came to the two of us I had to first embrace my heart around what we had before my mind could begin to wrap around it. His consoling words, almost flowery subtle boy scent, and the feel of his warm body pressed up against me all safe and sound in my arms now slowly lulled me to sleep. A warm glow spread throughout my insides as I finally released myself accepting in its entirety the unique loving and preciously rare relationship I had with the younger boy. It was something which would last a lifetime no matter what else occurred in-between.
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End of Chapter Twenty One
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EXCERPT OPENING
The boy had both of his fingers now firmly wrapped around parts of the headboard framework as he gazed down, his bulging eyes studying everything taking place between his legs. He had a lot to work with as he shifted his hips around one moment and then switched it up as he slowly pumped his groin shoveling his thick hose in and out between my suckling lips.
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Dane gazed down between his legs and couldn’t believe how sexy hot this was tonight. He had come over to Robby’s house because he hadn’t been able to sleep. He hadn’t expected to have sex so soon after his boyfriend got out of the hospital, only coming over so he could cuddle with the older boy. He was missing him so much and the last few days had him on edge and in near tears most of the time. It had been such an emotional strain with plenty of ups and downs recently. It was only a few days ago where he had felt lonely without anyone really understanding who he was as a person until everything suddenly changed in a heartbeat when he finally found the love of his life, Robby, and having real sex for the first time. The thirteen year old boy had always known sex was something beautiful, but what he had with Robby was more than he could have ever expected.
There was such love and compassion between the two of them, and he was overwhelmed and truly happier than he’s been in a very long time. Then overnight this new found gift he was experiencing took a turn and it all seemed to change when Anatoli’s health threatened to destroy the happiness in his life. He had been so worried about the younger boy and then when Robby had volunteered a kidney he felt that gut wrenching sinking feeling as one of the greatest fears of his life gripped his entire being. Only the near death of his father had him feeling worse. He had worried not only over Anatoli now, but the true love of his life as well. He admired the older boy for his bravery, but he also feared and worried over him.
When all was said and done a great relief had settled over everyone because the surgery had been a success and it looked as if everything would turn out alright for everyone. It was indescribable just how much all of it had weighed on him, but when Robby ran his fingers over his stomach and chest he finally felt all the tension flow out of his body. It was then he realized everything would be fine and he could finally enjoy the happiness of having the older boy in his life. Once he realized this, and the anxiety left his body, it was amazing just how wonderful Robby’s hands felt all over his skin. He also no longer felt so self-conscious about his body, having gotten over that hurdle the last time around as he enjoyed having the older boy touching him down there between his legs. The heat inside of him began to boil out of his pours as he allowed himself to experience the sensuousness of the moment.
Now as he gazed down at Robby’s soft boyish features it simply amazed him at the older boy’s ability to take in his huge endowment with such ease. Every time he eased his hips forward he could see the older boy’s rosy cheeks puffing outwards and feel the older boy’s tongue doing some fancy work along his shaft. One moment it would flicker beneath his hooded valve brushing between the slit on his nozzle and the next it would slather along the bottom part of his shaft. Then he’d feel the boy’s tongue swirling around on the top side along that huge vein he always saw which started from the base of his shaft sort of on the left side where it sprouted out of his pubic mound before stretching outwards toward the tip of his penis angling more towards the center giving the thick bluish tinted vein an almost slight curvy look.
The older teen was so damn amazing and the love in Dane’s chest swelled because even though the older boy wasn’t feeling so well he made sure his younger partner’s needs were being attended to. Dane hadn’t felt like taking care of his burgeoning pubertal needs for days now, and it was finally catching up to him as he slowly made love to Robby’s lips relishing every moment of it; especially, when his raging hormones began bubbling up to the surface. He could already feel the burning sensation deep down inside of him as his toes reflexively curled up, but he tamped down the urge to let his orgasm overwhelm him so soon. He desperately wanted to fully experience the moment allowing Robby’s mouth to truly work him expertly and only in a way the older boy could achieve.
“Oh fuck Robby your lips, mouth, and tongue are so damn sexy hot. I love you.” Dane moaned affectionately as he slowly rocked his hips in a continuous forward motion seeing the older boy’s brown eyes glancing upwards dancing around merrily as if he seemed to be enjoying this moment as well.
As the younger boy professed his affectionate love for me my heart swelled and I felt at ease knowing I was providing him with something he appreciated. If my mouth wouldn’t have been so fully preoccupied I would have told him just how much I loved him too as I gazed up into his tender brown eyes which seemed to glow with such intense love. Dane was the love of my life and his eyes spoke volumes as I made sure to provide him with the proper amount of sexual gratification reading the nuances of his body language.
Slowly my mouth and tongue worked his thickness as I teased the boy nectar inside his roiling testicles. He was already beginning to crest his body glistening with sweat now as my hands were all over his body. I ran them up and down his stomach and along his chest, the next moment along his sides, before running them around to his lower back and even across his firm little rounded apples. Everything about him was sexy hot, not just that fat sausage of his; although, I had to admit it was a bit on the spicy side.
He was beginning to climax so I quickened the pace and he responded as he now felt the need to finally finish. Suddenly I felt his penis vibrate in my mouth as it fattened up even thicker before it abruptly recoiled like a rifle shot being squeezed off. I felt his small droplets of bird shot splattering against the flat surface of my tongue since I had it currently pressed up against his meaty boy slit. It wasn’t a lot, not as much as Gabe had gifted me, but more than he squirted his first time around as his body stiffened up and he moaned loudly.
“Shiii, uuumph, uumph, uuuuuuumph, uuumph,” he croaked throatily not even holding back making me wonder if my dad could hear his moans of ecstasy as his rapture ran through the entire length of his body.
I greedily swallowed down his small tasty offering noting it was still very viscous and slippery indicating his essence more than likely continued to be more transparent than the typical milky opaque tacky kind of cum most boys his age would produce by now. It didn’t matter to me because in my mind it was still at its most purest state of his boyness. I would always love his cream smoothie no matter what because it came from him, but there was only a very short period of time in a boy’s life where his sowed oats was at its most chaste state. I instinctively knew I would only have his purest essence a few more times if I’m lucky. After that it would begin to change into something different, but still just as special since it would be a part of him.
Dane had stopped making love to my mouth, his orgasm forcing all of his muscles to stiffen up as he continued to writhe around while my lips milked every last drop. Finally it was too much for him and I could feel his penis soften up in my mouth still managing to keep it filled up before I reluctantly let it slide from between my lips. The younger boy slumped into my lap pressing his soft body against me. As with Gabe I could feel his spittle covered soft floppy and warm boy bag snuggle up against my skin as I embraced him tenderly.
Dane sucked in air and settled down against Robby’s body enjoying the closeness of the older boy. The teen never ceased to amaze Dane providing him with such a wonderful orgasm which was done out of sheer love. There was no doubt in his mind the two of them were meant for one another as he slowly recovered and eased himself off the older boy not wanting to take the chance of hurting him by accident.
Dane’s body was so fucking sexy hot as I watched him climbing off to lie on his back next to me. He was stunningly beautiful with his flaccid foreskin covered three and a half inch long penis curving heavily over the top of his fleshy satchel. I watched as he reached down between his legs adjusting his thick stalk with his fingers lifting it off of his purse. I guess it had become sticky as both parts stuck to one another before he peeled them apart. He grabbed the corner of the blanket and wiped himself dry before letting go of his penis allowing it to settle back into place, this time his plump tube not sticking to his ball sack.
“Oh fuck…that was incredible.” I heard him sigh softly my cheeks blushing with embarrassment now because those were the exact words Gabe had used just a few hours ago.
Dane seemed to notice and asked me what was wrong. I was feeling a bit guilty now because I just had sex with another boy while Dane was officially my boyfriend. It’s what I had been thinking about right after I had sex with Gabe as I now bit my lower lip. I felt really awful about it. Normally I don’t talk about these sorts of things with others because I felt it was private between two people, and I wouldn’t even say anything to Dane about my previous sexual escapades even though he knew I had them, but this was somehow different. Snuggling up with him under the covers I felt it was finally time to talk to him about some things. I had only intended to tell him about the recent incident with Gabe, but somehow once I began I knew it was time to tell him about more. So I told him about Anatoli and Gabe, all of it so he could understand how I was feeling.
All my other prior sexual experiences I left out, including Crystal, but I could tell he knew there was more to it, yet somehow it didn’t really apply to this situation so he seemed to accept it. Gabe and Anatoli were different though because they were now so deeply rooted into my every day life just like Dane. Of course the two younger boys were an integral part of my life; especially, Anatoli since he was my ‘Other Brother, but my deepest connection was with Dane.
“Dane I’m really sorry about Gabe. It shouldn’t have happened; especially, since we are…um…you know…officially a couple.” I sighed apologetically.
The boy’s brown eyes gazed into mine as he smiled reaching out and fondly stroking my cheek. “Did he enjoy it?” He asked puzzling me because it wasn’t a question I expected.
“Um…yeah…I’m pretty sure. I mean he…um…well…you know…his body sort of gave it away that it enjoyed what happened.” I chuckled nervously hearing him laughing and shaking his head.
“Yeah well you sort of have that affect on people. I mean you said he seemed to need it, right?” He asked with me nodding my head baffled at why he wasn’t yelling at me for the betrayal. “Well if he was feeling anything like me then yeah, I suppose he needed it badly.”
“You're not mad, I mean even about Anatoli?” I asked as he scrunched up his face.
“Robby, of course I’m not mad. I mean I get it with Anatoli. There’s something very special there…this whole getting deathly sick and the transplant is proof enough. I won’t be mad at something which I know will be there forever Robby. As for Gabe I love him like a brother too. He’s been kind, gentle, and a real friend. Yeah, it’s kind of weird I guess because we are boyfriends, but I suppose I sort of understand it too. I’m sure you being his first will be something he will always carry with him just like me.” He sighed smiling at me affectionately as he got a bit cheeky now. “Besides, he really is sexy hot so I’m sure he’s ‘hard’ to resist.” He emphasized as I rolled my eyes.
“Geeze all you guys are going to be the death of me.” I teased back, but he didn’t seem to appreciate the humor shaking his head.
“I hope not Robby. Let’s not do something so scary again. One terrifying incident like Anatoli is enough for a lifetime. First it was my dad, then Anatoli, and now you. This better be the last of it.” He insisted as I pulled him closer holding him tightly as we fell silent in our own thoughts until we both fell asleep our bodies simply too exhausted to stay awake anymore.
The start to another day finally stirred me awake with grayish winter light spilling into my room. I’ve always been an early riser, which I suppose only made sense because I was used to getting up and starting in on the tasks of keeping the ranch squared away. With the surgery though I haven’t been able to take care of things around the place so Dane’s picked up some of the slack doing the bulk of the winter time work. During the winter months things tended to settle down a bit, but there was still always plenty to do on a ranch.
Rolling on to my side I gazed down at the sleek slumbering brown haired boy snuggled up close to me his body huddled under the warm covers. This was a holiday weekend, Martin Luther King Day, and it’s been about a week and a half since the surgery and the nice blowjob I gave Dane with the younger teen managing to sneak over several times in the night so we could snuggle up together. It was so sweet how he couldn’t seem to be parted from me for long periods of time as he doted over my every move out of concern. These days I was moving around more freely without much discomfort. There was still some bruising around my naval, but even this had healed up for the most part.
I had even gone back to school returning to my normal routine for the most part minus the activities. I had promptly quit the wrestling team to the total dismay of my coach and team mates since this had simply come out of the blue for them; especially, since I was on track to State Champion again. To confuse matters more I had missed several days of classes, which had many of them wondering what was going on with me.
The whole kidney transplant had been something I didn’t want others to know about because I didn’t want them to treat me or Anatoli any differently. So other than the people closest to me who were already aware about it, no one else did other than the school Principal and nurse. We had asked everyone who knew to please keep it confidential since I didn’t want it to become a big issue. In these parts people knew how to keep their mouths shut. Of course it was a small community and people tended to know one another’s business, but when a secret needed to be kept most people around here could always be counted on to keep their mouths tightly shut.
It would be the toughest for Anatoli though because even though he was discharged from the hospital yesterday he would still miss a few more weeks of classes. At least his absence could be accounted for with everyone understanding he had been laid up with that nasty flew. The younger boy being absent from classes for another couple of weeks only made sense because people knew how bad the flu had actually been in some cases.
The truth for Anatoli though is it was safer for him not to be around so many people at first since his immune system was still a bit run down. His speedy recovery had amazed the doctors as his body seemed to rebound quickly from not only the devastation of the flu, but also from the invasiveness of a major surgery. These days the younger boy was almost back to his normal self, but did seem to be a bit depressed. Of course the flu had thrown him for a loop so he was still a bit sore from the surgery and couldn’t get around all too well yet.
Glancing down at Dane’s peaceful slumbering form my lips curved upwards into a silly grin because I never got tired of staring at him while he slept as I ran my fingers through his espresso brown colored wavy locks. He kept his hair cut short all around the ears and the back leaving it a bit longer on top, which I was able to enjoy now while I twirled my fingers through them. At thirteen going on fourteen he still had that youthful appearance as if his body refused to enter puberty which normally created those more stark and angular features. In a way I appreciated his more childlike appearance because it was indicative of how he would probably retain his youthful appearance throughout his lifetime.
Dipping my hand beneath the covers I allowed my fingers to trace lightly down his well honed chest and firm stomach. His wiry body was very fit and even though he had a long lanky look there was most definitely musculature just beneath the surface of his deceptively smooth skin. The boy had strength; the hours, days, weeks, and months of work on the ranch polishing his muscles which weren’t bulky, but rather compact in a solid dense kind of way just beneath the surface of his skin.
These days if Dane was confronted by those bullies from last summer he’d make short work of them for sure. In a way it was kind of sad because the family run paper had finally gone under, but it had been their own fault with people in these parts having finally gotten fed up with their pompous attitude. The family ended up having to pack up and leave for the city to try finding jobs of their own. It’s strange, but no one even seemed to miss them and it was as if they had never really existed in the community to begin with, most people simply forgetting them altogether.
The thirteen year old boy moaned softly in his sleep as my fingers now ran across his smooth hairless slate just above his thick soft dowel. When Dane spent the night in my bed I’d always wake him up tenderly as I eagerly explored his smooth sleek body with my fingers. He always turned me on, his sexiness almost too much for me to handle at times. I’ve pleasured him on numerous occasions now since the first night he slipped into my bed after the surgery, but still hadn’t been ready for him to return the favor. I knew by this time I was healed enough for him to pleasure me as well, but for some reason I had held back a bit to his utter frustration.
The other night when he had tried to reciprocate, and I had stopped him before things got carried away, he had promptly announced that until I allowed him to have fun with me too and provide me with pleasure then he was off limits as well. He even went so far as to indicate this meant he wouldn’t jack off or anything since I wasn’t either. It was so damn cute how he was now using sex against me; not in a mean spirited way, but rather to show solidarity I suppose with the situation. We were in love and he only wanted to share in the love with me and not simply be the one in taking pleasure in the relationship. Of course I figured he’d simply jack off or whatever when he was alone, but I could tell he was holding firm with his proclamation just because of the subtle ways his body would react.
These days he was most definitely extremely horny and often complained about blue balls, which made me chuckle and point out he could take care of it easily enough. The boy would then grunt dismissively as he tried to grope at me in order to initiate some sexual foreplay, which I didn’t mind, but always managed to hold him off at the critical moments which seemed to frustrate him even more.
The situation would have been funny if it wasn’t kind of serious because he was beginning to worry about me. I assured him it wasn’t him, but rather me not being ready yet. I suppose it is difficult to understand how a normal teenager simply wasn’t ready anymore to have sex at the drop of the hat. It wasn’t as if being close to him and feeling his wonderful hands all over my body didn’t get me hornier than a Viking’s helmet or a three balled tomcat. He always managed to get me hard down there, but something inside of me held back encouraging me to wait for the right moment.
Now as my fingers wrapped around his flaccid penis I could feel myself getting hard and excited. He never ceased to amaze me at just how thick he was down there. It almost felt as if my fingers were wrapping around a very large and thick sized banana from the grocery store. Even now as I slowly skinned his foreskin over the tip of his mushroom shaped nozzle it reminded me of a banana being peeled back to reveal its scrumptious edible meaty fruit.
The sexy boy responded to my touch and his eyes slowly fluttered open as he rolled me on my back. He draped his body over mine as he passionately kissed me hungrily and slurped on my lips while sucking the breath out of my lungs. I could feel his erection pressing up against my own smaller one with his heavy ball sack spreading across mine. Having his body pressed up against me like this felt so succulently delicious as he tenderly ground his hips into me being careful not to place too much weight on me.
My fingers traced along his back and over his smooth rounded apple shaped butt cheeks. I loved how his ass felt and looked as I recalled that special moment together just before the incident with Anatoli. Slipping my sleek four and a quarter inch erection inside of him had been the most incredible experience of my life and I knew that soon I would experience it once more. It was a memory I would always cherish because it was truly the moment I realized the two of us were meant to be together forever.
Sighing I broke off our kiss with Dane chuckling and shaking his head because he was horny as fuck and I was still not ready. “Soon Dane, just give me a little more time. I promise it won’t be long now.” I smiled at him as he rolled on to his back nodding his head and smiling at me lopsidedly.
Glancing down I chuckled and reached out pulling his foreskin back over the tip of his glans which looked extremely swollen because it hadn’t been siphoned off. He noticed it too and laughed with me because it was not only bloated, but also very purple, looking more like a ripe plum now than a mushroom.
“Shit for real Robby, we better do something here soon or I’m afraid my little stick is doing to detonate.” He teased.
I snorted, “Yeah well it’ll be one huge explosion because that’s a full sized stick of dynamite.” I laughed with him grinning.
“Yup, and by the time it explodes it’ll be more like the size of yours, a quarter of a stick of dynamite.” He teased back with me scrunching up my face and punching him in the arm.
“Hey, I’m not that small.” I grumped with him shrugging his shoulders and grinning mischievously.
“I wouldn’t know since I haven’t been able to touch it these days to gauge its size.” He teased sticking his tongue at me while I shook my head knowing he was only kidding.
Rolling towards him on my side, I reached out and once more traced along his sleek naked body. He looked so damn deliciously sexy all boned up and huge down there between his legs as my fingers began to fondle him tenderly. Dane didn’t say anything closing his eyes and enjoying the intimacy.
“I can’t come over later tonight.” He whispered his chest rising as he took a deep breathe and let it out softly the skin on his body trembling and getting goose bumps all over because I was making him feel really good down there.
“Alright,” I replied not offended figuring he probably had a good reason. After all he couldn’t come over every night.
“It’s just tomorrow my dad has another doctor’s appointment to determine when he is going to have his next surgery.” He offered up.
“Oh, how’s he doing?” I asked out of concern having gotten to know his dad a bit more now that he was home and so was I.
“Actually really good all things considered, thanks for asking.” He responded his eyes slightly opening up as he gazed down at himself because I was slowly skinning his foreskin exposing his slicked up sensitive purple colored nozzle.
“You know its Anatoli’s birthday tomorrow and I was planning on throwing him a small birthday party. It’ll only be a few of us since he needs to be careful about getting around too many people. Does this mean you won’t be able to make it?” I asked a bit sad if he missed it.
“Nah, it’s why I can’t come over tonight. Dad changed his appointment to the first thing in the morning so I can be here for Anatoli’s birthday. It’s just since his appointment is so early I need to stay home tonight so we can get up and going in the morning.” He explained while I smiled and nodded my head hearing him sigh and crawl out of bed with his erection swaying around and actually drooping heavily in front of him since his shaft was fully engorged with blood.
He really did have a sexy body as I watched him for a moment or two while he got dressed before I climbed out as well. Dane’s eyes kept flittering over my naked body as well taking note of how I was healing up. His lips curled up into a sly grin as he saw me trying to tuck away my erection inside of my boxer briefs before I slipped into a pair of jeans. I smiled back noticing him trying to shove that thick piece of banana sized erection into his tightie whities with it pocking past the hem of his underwear around his waist. We both giggled as we finished getting dressed and cleaned up before heading out for some breakfast.
Dad had shifted his schedule around a bit so he worked the morning shift and was home early enough in the evening so we could enjoy dinner together. Since we usually got up early in the morning we were able to enjoy breakfast together as well before he had to leave for work. The first night Dane had snuck over my dad surprised us both in the morning by giving us breakfast in bed and winking at Dane saying by the sounds of things someone needed a hearty meal. Of course Dane had blushed about thirty shades of red with me doing about only ten. I had to give my dad credit with how well he was handling my relationship with another boy.
My dad’s support made it easier for me to accept actually being gay. It’s one thing to acknowledge a friend being gay, but I was finding out how actually discovering I was gay too was a bit different than being understanding of others being this way. Even though I accepted it, I still felt a little confused about my relationship with Dane and could tell he felt the same way sometimes. We both loved each other deeply; there was no doubt about it, but at times we were still tentative about our relationship together and how it was going to affect things in the future. This sort of thing was never easy, but I knew deep down the two of us were meant to be together so nothing else mattered.
After Dane left it was another boring day for me since I really couldn’t do much around the ranch. I was restricted with how much I was allowed to lift as I puttered around trying to keep a little busy. I spent some time brushing down Amber and letting her out a bit in the small fenced off open area so she could amble around. The mare had been cooped up lately so was more than happy to frolic around in the chill winter air.
Since it was Saturday both Donavan and Gabe came by to visit with me. Donavan could only visit for a short while so he dropped by with his ATV while Gabe drove his Suzuki using the back trails to get here. The younger boy seemed kind of bummed saying he had wanted to visit with Anatoli too since his friend got home yesterday, but the Markowsky’s said he needed to rest for now. I felt for Gabe because I could tell something deeper was beginning to form between the two younger boys which began at the hospital when to my surprise Anatoli actually allowed his friend to grope him. It hadn’t been one of those playful kinds either, the ones typical with most boys who simply goof around. Rather, it had been intimate with both boys enjoying the moment together.
Gabe’s news concerned me too because after the surgery it was as if both of Anatoli’s parents had become a bit overprotective. Even when we visited in the hospital they tended to hover and it seemed to make Anatoli a bit nervous about it; especially, since he’s become used to having way more freedom at the ranch. It made me begin to wonder now if they would even allow Anatoli to come over tomorrow so we could celebrate his birthday together with a small group of us. Even though it was in the middle of winter time I wanted to have a BBQ feast for Anatoli since he loved that sort of thing.
He always had a good appetite, but with the flu and of course his kidney shutting down he hadn’t been eating hardly anything at all. Now though with his kidneys once more regulating properly he had regained his appetite and was eating like a rabid dog. Of course his diet had changed a little, but for the most part he could still eat what he wanted. He just had to monitor more closely his sodium and potassium intake due to some of his medications along with watching for weight gain, which I doubted would be an issue once he became his old active self.
Even though I was concerned about Anatoli’s party I had assured Gabe everything was still a go. Donavan stayed for about an hour with Gabe staying a bit longer before also saying he had to get back. His mom wanted to make sure he headed home several hours before it even got dark taking no chances in case his motorcycle broke down or something, which made sense to me because it was cold outside.
Right after the younger boy left I was finally able to kick back and relax a little sighing and thinking about maybe catching a shower when my phone rang. Answering I immediately became alarmed because it was Anatoli on the other end and he was crying so hard I couldn’t even make out everything he was trying to say. All I knew was he seemed to be very upset so I tried to calm him down. He wasn’t making any sense so I told him I was coming right over and we could talk about what was bothering him then. Hanging up the phone I grabbed my jacket and keys and hurried outside.
Jumping in my beat up truck it only took me about five minutes to drive over to his place. Anatoli’s father answered the door when I knocked and had a shocked look on his face. He hesitated a moment, but before he could speak up I slipped past him and made my way over to Anatoli’s room. I stepped into his warm bedroom noticing Mrs. M kneeling by his bed trying to console the distraught boy while he tried to shove her away. The room was actually stifling hot and it made me wonder how he could stand it since he was dressed in a warm pair of pajamas. Anatoli’s mom seemed beside herself and looked haggard as if she hadn’t slept in weeks, and I could imagine she literally hadn’t.
“Anatoli?” I spoke out furling my eyes with concern as I looked around his room.
It hadn’t changed much at all looking like a typical kid’s room with a few toys lying around and some paintings up on the wall along with a few posters. It was a fairly neat and tidy room with just a few clothes scattered around. I’m sure Mrs. Markowsky always picked up a bit after the boy, but I also knew she would get on him every once in a while like a typical mother to tidy up after himself.
“Robby,” I heard him croak out in-between sobs as he held his arms out towards me.
His face was all red and sweaty with puffy eyes from crying so hard. It alarmed me because even though his wound was probably healed up fairly well he could still hurt himself if he didn’t settle down. Making my way quickly over to the boy I wrapped my arms around his small body feeling him trembling and shake as a sob escaped his lips. I sat on the floor and rocked him gently hearing Mrs. Markowsky sigh in relief as I glanced towards her questioningly.
Reaching out and patting my shoulder she basically shook her head unsure what had him so upset. I heard her groan softly as she got up off the floor and made her way to the bedroom door. When I glanced back I saw her wrapping her arm around her husband who looked just as troubled before she shut it behind us. I could see Mr. Markowsky begin to protest just before the door was closed, but Mrs. M shook her head indicating it would be alright.
Sighing I climbed up on Anatoli’s bed and snuggled up next to the younger boy. Lying on my left side I slipped my left arm under his neck supporting his head and pulled him closer to me with my right arm draped over the front of him as we spooned together. He was still sniffling softly in my arms as I pressed my face next to his noticing how warm and damp it had become. Closing my eyes I inhaled deeply, his familiar scent washing over me, the love for the little guy swelling inside my chest. He always had a way of affecting me in such a calming yet exciting way. I felt his body slowly begin to calm down in my arms as I continued to hold him tenderly.
Within moments the entire room fell silent as I turned my neck and kissed his cheeks affectionately. “Feeling better?” I whispered settling my cheek next to his feeling the curly haired boy nodding his head while I gently ran my hand over his pajama covered chest.
“So?” I asked with Anatoli shifting his head and craning his neck to glance towards me questioningly. “What’s got you all riled up and threatening to upset that kidney I’ve been so gracious enough to gift you.” I stated a bit firmly with an undertone of teasing getting him to grin and shake his head.
“It…it’s just…everything’s different.” He inhaled his chest rising and his breathe catching in his chest creating that sort of hitch we all get from time to time when we suck in air too fast.
“I know.” I whispered back feeling his head shake from side to side.
“No you don’t understand. I mean mom and dad…it’s…I mean…they are treating me like some little baby.” He croaked out in his thick accent trying to stifle his sniffles while I remained silent letting him calm down again.
With him still wrapped up safely in my arms he continued to whimper a bit before beginning to tell me what was really bothering him. Evidently his dad told him he wouldn’t be able to come over tomorrow for the small party I had planned saying it was too much of a risk for getting sick. That was just one example because it was like his parents were constantly hovering over him not allowing the boy to do anything on his own. They constantly nagged him about his surgery saying he needed to be careful about anything and everything. It was all the little things which were beginning to get on his nerves; especially, since he had gotten used to having more freedom and independence. They wouldn’t even allow him to take a shower, and he was beginning to feel all gross even though his mom would give him a sponge bath. This was another issue because it was downright embarrassing for him even though she only cleaned him from the waist up.
He kept rambling on about all sorts of things with how his parents were already placing all these restrictions on him for the future. Even I began to become upset because if these limitations had been imposed on me I’d go out of my mind. Just because he had a kidney transplant didn’t mean his normal life was over with forever. The more he talked the more it made me furl my eyebrows with worry because if we didn’t nip this in the bud now it would spin totally out of control.
“Come-on,” I groaned climbing over him and standing up.
“What?” He asked suspiciously.
“You’ve got to get up and walk to strengthen your muscles or you will stiffen up silly.” I chuckled knowing he hadn’t really been moving around and exercising like he should have been doing after the surgery since he was so sick and frail.
Now though it was more important than ever he try to get his strength back up. It’s been long enough that his surgery cuts should be pretty much healed, but his muscles would cramp up and not rebound as well if he didn’t try working them a bit. I could see the pain etched across his features and his brow bead up with sweat when I helped him stand up on wobbly legs. He hissed in pain for a moment as an aching twinge along his abdomen made him grimace for several seconds due to the movement, but it passed quickly and he sighed in relief nodding his head indicating he was alright. I didn’t hold on to him; instead, allowing him to place a hand on my shoulders for support. This allowed him to have a bit of stability while also using his own strength for the most part as we slowly made our way out into the main part of the house.
Anatoli’s parents were sitting in the living room and when Mr. Markowsky looked up his eyes bulged out with him immediately bolting out of his chair concern etched over his features. He started towards us, but I held up my hand indicating he should stop while also glaring at him forcefully. The man stopped in his tracks looking at me a bit confused for a moment before his features changed. I could tell he was upset and was about to say something when Mrs. M placed her hand on top of her husband’s arm shaking her head effectively calming him down a bit. The last few steps into the living room Anatoli dropped his hand from my shoulder and managed to walk on his own without too much difficulty. Having just gone through something similar I could tell his muscles were loosening up. It had been my experience once I began moving around it sort of became easier and didn’t hurt as much until of course I got tired. Then I’d have to sit down and relax allowing my muscles to calm down because sometimes they began to spasm.
“So,” I began, smiling at Mrs. M pleasantly since I knew her better. “I’ve been talking to Anatoli and it seems like he’s got a bit of cabin fever.” I grinned allowing Mrs. M to translate to her husband before continuing. “Anyway, we’ve decided since it is his birthday tomorrow that he might as well come over to my place and spend the night.” I added not making it a debate, but rather indicating the decisions been made already.
My eyes darted over towards Anatoli whose mouth had dropped open for a split second in complete shock at my statement before he had enough sense to close it shut. The boy immediately understood what I was up to so reverted to a more convincing stern look on his face indicating that indeed the decision had been mutually made. There was a brief pause in reaction while Mrs. M translated to her husband who then immediately stiffened up flashing me an angry look and emphatically shook his head.
“No!” I heard him say in English, the finality in his gruff deep tone shaking the very foundations of the old cabin while the two of us squared off.
The air in the room became stifling as the tensions increased because I glared back at the imposingly huge man standing in front of me. It was Mrs. M’s light touch on the man’s arm who suddenly made him back off slightly. He glanced down at his wife and started talking rapidly and pointing towards me and Anatoli while his wife nodded her head sympathetically before shushing him politely in a calm voice.
Anatoli leaned towards me and began telling me what his father was saying. “My dad says it isn’t possible because even now you shouldn’t be over here without a mask on. You could get me sick.” The blond curly boy looked at me shrugging his shoulders while I stared back at him in disbelief before glancing over to his father who had a smug look on his face.
My eyes kept darting back and forth for a second or two because the statement was so ludicrous before I abruptly belted out laughing so hard I had to bend over and gasp for air. It was so unexpected that everyone stared at me as if I were off my rocker while I held up my hand indicating for them to give me a moment while I got my giggles under control looking at Mrs. M and shaking my head.
“You’re joking right. I mean the kid’s got my kidney inside of him. If I were contagious he’d be dead by now.” I chuckled realizing in some ways it wasn’t so funny, but it was the truth. “For Pete’s sake already…just because he’s had a kidney transplant doesn’t mean his normal life is over with. You can’t keep him all cooped up like this so yes, he’s coming with me.” I managed to get serious at the end folding my arms insistently.
If anything I only managed to get Mr. Markowsky riled up even more with Anatoli biting his lower lip nervously and translating once more. “My father says you are only a boy and have no say in the matter. Anatoli is our son and will do what he is told.” The man responded in turn with finality.
It even seemed to catch Mrs. M by surprise who instinctively reached out to her husband placing her hand on his arm trying to calm him down. He wasn’t having any of it though because he glared at me stubbornly. I was about to respond saying he was being unreasonable, but Anatoli’s mom spoke up softly to her husband.
Glancing over towards Anatoli he nodded his head towards his mom. “She is telling my dad he’s being unfair to you. You are no ordinary boy, but my ‘Other Brother,’ and as such he must allow you to have a say in the matter. Besides, he is wrong because you are no boy, but a man who has proven this over time in the way you have cared and taken care of our family. The final proof of you being a man was when you provided me with your kidney. If we were tied to you before we are even more so now because I am literally carrying a part of you inside of me. She’s reminding him that without you I would probably no longer be alive and doing so well.” Anatoli translated placing his hand gently on my arm with tears flowing down his cheek.
“She’s right Robby…and I really am grateful for…for everything. I…I don’t think I’ve told you that yet.” He began to lose control and cry openly in front of everyone as tears flowed down my cheeks too.
Stepping up to him I wrapped my arms around him in a tender loving embrace feeling his body shake in response to our close contact. “Oh Anatoli please don’t cry.” I whispered softly in his ear feeling the boy returning my embrace and holding me tightly.
The poor kid was like an emotional rollercoaster wreck. I wasn’t sure if it was the after effects of coming so close to death and surviving, or if it was something more. I began to suspect it could be his medications. He was on so many of them with all sorts of side effects, and I’m sure over time they would fine tune them, but I would have to talk to my dad about it to see what he thought. Slowly Anatoli calmed down and blushed a bit embarrassed by his sudden disturbing outburst in such a public fashion. Loosening my grip on him the boy nodded indicating he was fine now.
Turning towards the Markowsky’s I sighed shaking my head. “Listen, please don’t keep Anatoli all caged up and squirreled away in the cabin. I know you are worried, but he’s fine and getting stronger everyday. If you keep him cooped up in here away from his friends and regular activities you might as well put a gun to his head and put him out of his misery. He’s bored to death and needs to get out in some fresh air.” I appealed seeing Mrs. Markowsky smiling at me sympathetically while her husband frowned, but didn’t say much else as his wife translated to him.
Anatoli’s dad began to soften up a bit, but still looked a bit worried as he spoke sympathetically to his wife shaking his head and gesturing while I looked towards the younger boy who began to translate. “My dad is worried about all the different kinds of medication I have to take at the appropriate times. Not to mention all the things we have to do like taking my temperature twice a day, once early morning and then later in the afternoon, along with my blood pressure. Then there’s the issue of recording my fluid intake and output.” He blushed and glanced towards me because they were talking about having to measure his urine.
These are things I was familiar with because I had read up on what Anatoli would need to do for a while once he got home. At least his catheter had been removed already and because of how well the surgery went Dr. Steinitz hadn’t even bothered with inserting a stint saying everything looked good and evidently it was since the younger boy almost from day one was urinating.
Then there were common sense things we needed to be careful about so he wouldn’t risk getting an infection of some sort. Things like making sure to wash his hands, wear a mask in certain situations, and of course taking his medication which he will be on for the rest of his life. In addition, the first several months he would be required to visit the transplant clinic twice a week, but since this was a holiday weekend he didn’t have to go in until Tuesday unless odd symptoms presented itself. If this happened then he needed to go in right away.
Suddenly the younger boy seemed to perk up and grin as he translated what his mom was saying. “Oh this is good Robby. Mom is reminding my dad that your father will be home from work soon and he has the rest of the holiday weekend off. Who else better to be there to look after me than a doctor? Besides, we haven’t been alone for a long time now and with Anatoli…,” the younger boy blushed his cheeks burning red as he looked towards me furtively while I sort of read between the lines.
It didn’t take a rocket scientist to realize the couple had been apart for over six months now. I was fairly certain there hadn’t been any intimate alone time between the two of them because of how sick Anatoli had been since his father arrived. With their son being well cared for and looked after over at our place it would allow them to really have some time alone to catch up on the last six months. It seemed to do the trick because Mr. Markowsky wrapped his arm affectionately around his wife’s waist and smiled softy at her. He paused for several seconds gazing into her eyes before looking at us with my arm wrapped around his son’s shoulders before finally giving in and nodding his head. Anatoli immediately ran into his dad’s arms the two of them hugging tightly.
While Anatoli and his dad went back into the boy’s room Mrs. Markowsky took me over to the kitchen table where all his medications were spread out and began explaining everything to me. There was a sort of cheat sheet as well sitting there indicating the times to take the different medications, along with the journal, and everything else.
“Listen Robby, I know your father is knowing how to do. I will call him to being sure Anatoli can stay, yes.” She smiled with me nodding.
“Don’t worry we will take good care of him.”
“I am knowing this Robby and being glad you have come for boy. It is being difficult for Anatoli, but to be please not thinking badly of boy’s father. Anatoli different boy now from before when father now him better. Our little treasure is being almost man now…I say almost Robby because he is still boy, yes.” She emphasized letting me know that yes indeed Anatoli had matured since leaving the old country, but he was still a little boy. “We are being only concerned because…,” she paused looking at me sadly shaking her head falling silent as if she was thinking how much she wanted to say something. “Anatoli’s father…well…boy is only son, yes, understand?” She asked with me shrugging my shoulders.
“I guess…sort of.” I responded understanding how difficult it must have been for the Markowsky’s to witness their only son going through something like this and almost dying.
“Robby, it is just…when Anatoli come from me…um…being born…things was being very difficult. We…I can no have more children so Anatoli is everything to boy’s father. Anatoli is heart to father and me. He is being our very breath…understand?” She asked with me finally understanding why Anatoli’s dad was being so overprotective.
The Markowsky’s couldn’t have any more children so all their sacrifices were for their one and only child. A while back when they were over for dinner once I recalled Mrs. Markowsky telling my dad, when he had asked about it, how they had planned on having a house full of kids. She had made a comment on how it wasn’t meant to be, but they had been blessed with the most precious gift of all in Anatoli. So I knew they had wanted a large family, but it hadn’t dawned on me it never happened because evidently something medical wise happened to Mrs. Markowsky during child birth.
It was late afternoon by the time I pulled up in front of my house. The Markowsky’s had bundled up Anatoli slipping a sweater and sweatpants over his pajamas before putting on his warm jacket figuring when we got over to my place It’d be easier. Leaving his small bag of stuff in the truck the younger boy followed me over to the barn as I whistled for Amber who was in the enclosure but down by the trees and little stream. She ambled over and trotted through the gate for the warmth of the barn apparently satisfied enought with her time spent out in the open, but ready to get settled in where it was warmer.
I set about getting her all squared away with grain and hay before taking up a brush to do some quick grooming. Amber always loved being brushed down so stood there placidly while both Anatoli and I began to groom her. I had to chuckle because the boy had put on his mask and gloves looking a bit comical, with even Amber seemingly rolling her large brown eyes at the boy’s outfit, but of course it was better to be safe and not take the chance of getting infected.
Anatoli must have noticed the horse’s look as well because he grumbled at her. “What, now you are all fussy about the way someone looks who is willing to spruce you up?” He huffed indignantly while I tried to stifle a giggle.
Amber immediately responded by shaking her head and mane while her body rippled before lifting her tail and dumping a load right at Anatoli’s feet. This finally did it for me as I literally bent over in a full fit of laughter while poor Anatoli’s eyes furled in a grimace. I wasn’t sure about anything else on his face because it was covered in a mask, but his eyes turned deathly cold as he bore holes at me.
“Ungrateful beast.” The younger boy huffed making me wonder if he was referring to the Mare or me, but it really didn’t much matter because it was just too hilarious as even Anatoli began to chuckle about the whole thing.
After finishing up with Amber I got Anatoli inside noticing how he was once more so upbeat about everything. Even the color in his cheeks had returned. I could tell he was beginning to tire though so I got him out of his sweater and sweatpants ordering him to go wash his hands thoroughly while I tossed his clothes in the washer erring on the safe side. Just as Anatoli was getting settled on the sofa my dad came through the door and greeted us making sure to give the younger boy a quick medical once over. Satisfied that he was doing just fine he studiously recorded everything in the journal, checked over the medications and the schedule, and then allowed us to relax while he began to fix supper.
Just the short time outside with Amber had the younger boy a bit spent and he began to nod off while he watched a program on the television set. Getting up off the couch I smiled at the younger boy knowing his spent state was a healthy one because he had moved around a bit getting some much needed activity. Walking into the kitchen I began helping my dad. He was preparing something simple and basic, but knew it was a meal I had always enjoyed; grilled cheese sandwiches along with some leftover home made soup which had my mouth watering.
Glancing over into the living room to make sure Anatoli was still dozing I spoke up. “Dad can I ask you something?”
“Yeah sure…what’s up?” He asked while I got down some bowls and paper plates setting them on the dining room table.
“I was just wondering about some of the side effects from Anatoli’s medication. I mean you should have seen him at home. He was an emotional wreck crying really hard and all. I’ve never seen him so upset where he ever cried. I mean you know him…he’s always smiling and upbeat even when he’s having a bad day. It didn’t just happen once, but a couple of times.” I added with my dad nodding.
“Hmmm, could be a side effect from his prednisone. It’s a steroid which helps to prevent and treat rejection of his kidney transplant. One of the side effects is mood changes, but I’m sure once the transplant facility starts getting a better idea of his blood work they will be able to regulate his dosage. At least I don’t see any other side effects like Anatoli getting what they call “moon face,” you know rounded puffy cheeks.” He chuckled a bit mirthfully.
“Yeah,” I chuckled shaking my head. “He’s too cute as it is, but with puffy cheeks people will want to squeeze them for sure.” I joked with my dad nodding his head in agreement before getting serious.
“There are plenty of other side effects we need to watch out for with all of his medications. There’s a list of them with a description of his medication so look them over. If you notice anything on the list we need to make sure to record them. I’ll be sure to log his emotional state from when you were over at his house. It’s important we track them, but it is also important we look for any signs of infection, colds, or any number of those things which need to be addressed immediately. Any of the other things let’s just be safe and record them so the transplant office can look it over. It’ll help them to regulate his medication.” He smiled reassuringly indicating most of this stuff is just a formality to be on the safe side.
The chances of me getting Anatoli sick were remote, but just to be safe I made sure to hop in the shower and scrub down really well before climbing under the covers with the younger boy. It was early, but he was already nodding off by the time I crawled under the blanket completely naked and curling up with him. I had been missing being able to get all cozy and snuggled up tightly with the adorably cute little blond curly haired boy. His familiar scent washed over me as I breathed him in, a small little teardrop escaping from the corner of my eye. Feeling his warmth and breathing in his scent reminded me of just how close I had come to losing the boy forever.
A sudden pang of loss and loneliness gripped my insides for a moment as I stifled my emotions swallowing down my sniffles. I missed my mom and brother something awful, and having come so close to losing another person I loved in my life was almost too much to handle. I hadn’t thought much about it since everything began, but now with the younger boy curled up comfortably in my arms and his warm body snuggled up softly against mine, it was starting to weigh on me as the reality set in. Before he had entered my life I was doing alright, but I realized I had been only living my life and not truly appreciating and enjoying it like a boy my age should. Of course I had been happy enough in my own way, but I realized now it had been a kind of empty existence.
It wasn’t until Anatoli showed up with his easy going manner, quick smile, and quirky sense of humor when my own life truly began to blossom. Something had changed inside of me almost from the instant I laid eyes on him when I had almost shut the door in his face. He had been a bit shy with an air of superiority at first, but it was immediately evident this was more due to the uncertainties, doubts, and uneasiness of moving to a new country leaving behind everything he knew. The two of us had immediately taken to one another as we sized each other up with something deep inside of me easing into place giving me a warm and fuzzy feeling about everything in general. When the curly haired boy was around everything always felt right.
There was an open quality about the younger boy I truly appreciated, but beneath his easy going mannerism there was also a bit of mystery with things he kept closed off to everyone except himself. Over time most everything was revealed as he finally opened up to me completely, which culminated in the most intimate kind of sharing two people can show one another. It had been a beautiful moment between the two of us, but also one I knew we couldn’t maintain, not in that kind of way. For Anatoli though it was different, sharing himself with me in a sexual way had more to do with our relationship as “Other Brothers.” He loved me, but understood in his own way it wasn’t the kind like a real couple. Not like what I now had with Dane.
At the time when I had sex with the younger curly haired blond boy Dane and I weren’t a couple, but I had still felt bad about it thinking I had taken advantage of Anatoli. The way I had been brought up in our culture I viewed such an act as being wrong, but for Anatoli he saw things differently. As my “Other Brother,” we shared a deeper kind of relationship than simply being mere friends. It allowed us to explore things in a deeper kind of way without any shame or guilt associated with such acts. In his mind even though we weren’t a couple, the love we had for one another was still a precious one and he didn’t find anything wrong with sharing such intimacy to show our feelings.
For me though I was still conflicted and confused. Deep down I knew he was right in regards to the close relationship we had as “Other Brothers” and what this meant to our relationship. I instinctively knew for the two of us some of these so called norms of society didn’t apply to us. It was still difficult for me to wrap my mind around sometimes because of the way I was raised in our cultural society to view such things as not being right.
This thought made me chuckle as I remembered a valuable lesson from Anatoli all those many months ago about what it meant to be an “Other Brother.” At the time he had that cute accent, which was still very prevalent in the way he spoke today, but back then there had also been the quirky halting kind of English as he struggled with the words. It had been too adorably cute with me now closing my eyes vividly recalling his stumbling English, quirky accent, and everything about that one special moment. Even now it echoed in my memories as I reminisced with my lips curling upwards:
“I luv you more…‘little Other Brother,’ so very…very much.” I had told Anatoli recalling the way we were cuddled together enjoying each other’s embrace before he leaned back shaking his head and scrunching his face.
“No ‘little Other Brother,’ simply ‘Other Brother,’ Robby. ‘Other Brother’ equal. It is being rare the finding of ‘Other Brother,’ it is being gift for you and gift for me…so must be…um…treasured…yes.” He had explained with me blushing since I hadn’t intended to have insulted the boy.
“Sorry Anatoli…I didn’t mean anything by it…just trying to understand it more…you know…wrap my mind around it.” I tried to clarify, the younger boy chuckling and shaking his head.
“No wrap mind around,” he had giggled poking his finger on my forehead for emphasis. “Only wrap heart around…then all clear, yes.” He explained placing the palm of his hand affectionately across my chest.
Nodding my head I had exhaled softy and smiled fondly at the boy because he was so very adorably sweet and indeed a treasure. “Yes…I feel it.” I had admitted my response pleasing the boy as he once more hugged me.
It was a fond memory with me slowly accepting our relationship for what it was, and not the way our Western culture tries to shove down our throats. It was bad enough how our society viewed gays even though these days it was more accepted, but they also had a skewed view of boys being sexual creatures and willing to explore their sexuality with another boy. Even in this regard there were double standards with those who accepted such notions of boy on boy sexual behavior yet believing once a boy had sex with another boy this was it for them. How was it alright for there to be multiple heterosexual partners in one’s lifetime, yet when it came to sex between two boys some think there shouldn’t be any other sexual encounters allowed? We were after all growing and learning about our sexuality with one another just like regular heterosexual partners.
In my school a boy falls in love with one girl only to figure out it wasn’t love after all and moves on to another girl. It was only natural at our age. I knew plenty of guys in my school who have fallen in love fooling around sexually with the female persuasion and plenty of those girls ended up losing their virginity in the process. This was something very precious for a girl, yet it didn’t mean the two were now forevermore bound together as a couple.
As a gay boy I was discovering this was true for us as well. Just because two gay boys performed a very intimate act with each other, like allowing another boy to penetrate him; didn’t necessarily mean the two boys were tied together now forever. Just like teenaged heterosexual couples falling in love one moment only to realize it wasn’t meant to be; those involving boy on boy encounters were no different. As teenagers we hook up in an intimate way with one person it being very serious yet if something else came along it didn’t mean that our other brain didn’t take over with us going at it with the other person as well.
Of course there were plenty of hypocrites out there who believed otherwise thinking it was somehow different for teenaged gay couples. It baffled me how there could be so many idiots out there in this regard with them somehow believing it is so different for gay teenaged couples. Just like any other teenagers many of us are still trying to figure things out, and for most of us it was almost a given that we’d all have sex at the drop of a hat. What occurs in the teenaged heterosexual boy world was not much different for a teenaged gay boy where relationships and sex were involved; that is other than most of us keeping such actions and relationships to ourselves for fear of reprisals from our peers.
It had taken me a while to even figure out it was boys I preferred. In the meantime I’ve had several sexual partners with both girls and boys. Why do some people find such actions disgusting and revolting when it came to a gay boy, yet don’t give it a second thought when it is someone who is heterosexual. I began to realize there were so many hypocrites in our society, and it wasn’t just from those who are heterosexual, but rather also those from the gay community with their air of superiority and attitudes.
Even before Dane and I had officially became a couple I had begun to pay attention to some of the whispering behind so called closed doors from people I knew who were gay. I suppose I’ve known deep down I was gay too so had begun to gravitate towards friends who I knew were homosexual trying to come to terms with what it may mean for someone like me. I began to realize even in the gay community there were prejudices imposed by our Western societal views, and they would never be able to accept such a relationship I had with both Dane and Anatoli. Even Gabe had a unique place in my heart; although, I knew this sort of activity between us would fade away while with Anatoli it would probably always be some sort of fixture in my life.
After I had sex with Anatoli for real that very first time I had such a horrible guilty feeling about it. I thought it was because of our age difference, which in some ways it still factored in I suppose. There was a three year difference between us, which at our young age was a big gap, but I knew as we got older it wouldn’t be such a big issue.
Our first real sexual interaction happened only a few weeks ago so officially he had only been eleven, but in my mind it had been close enough to his birthday to really say he was twelve years old since it was tomorrow. I began to remember what it was like for me right around the time I was twelve years old. Most of my friends at about this time had been raging hormonal sex fiends wanting to get off in any way possible, while for me puberty hadn’t taken such a hold on me yet. Everyone was different and I guess Anatoli was starting to enter into puberty which of course only heightened matters for him. I suppose in normal circumstance the age thing would matter, but I now realized it shouldn’t factor in due to our unique relationship with one another as “Other Brothers.”
This was something I now realized, but at the time of our sexual interaction I hadn’t so of course at first the younger boy had felt betrayed in some ways by my reactions afterwards. Yet as always he was the first one to realize why I had been so cautious about it. He understood the views in our society were very different from the way he had been raised in his culture. The boy had accepted this forgiving me in the process, while once more teaching me how when it came to the two of us what our society thought didn’t matter, because we had something which was precious and deserved to be nurtured. Our love for one another was different from what I felt towards Dane, but it no less had a powerful hold over me and who I was as a person.
Taking comfort in Anatoli’s words and actions now from all those months ago my mind began to settle down. When it came to the two of us I had to first embrace my heart around what we had before my mind could begin to wrap around it. His consoling words, almost flowery subtle boy scent, and the feel of his warm body pressed up against me all safe and sound in my arms now slowly lulled me to sleep. A warm glow spread throughout my insides as I finally released myself accepting in its entirety the unique loving and preciously rare relationship I had with the younger boy. It was something which would last a lifetime no matter what else occurred in-between.
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End of Chapter Twenty One
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