Discovering A Mute Boy
Chapter 18
A Time Of Grieving
WARNING: this story contains sexual content, and contact between young boys. If the subject matter offends you, is not to your tastes, or if you are under legal age for your area, then find something else to read. In the following story all names and events are completely fictional. Although I may mention specific locations, places, or persons any resemblance to said people, locations, or places is completely unintentional.
Feel free to email me at ([email protected]). I respond to all of my readers.
This work is copyrighted © by Hunter Woods. No part of this story may be transmitted or reproduced in whole or in part in any form including mechanical, electronic, photocopying, and recording or by any information storage and retrieval system without the express written consent of the author. For those of you who just blow this off and decide to steal anyway keep these thoughts below in mind:
“Intentionally using the quotes of others without author attribution is plagiarism and contributes to illiteracy.”
- Rain Bojangles
“Most plagiarists, like the drone, have neither taste to select, industry to acquire, nor skill to improve, but impudently pilfer the honey ready prepared, from the hive.”
- Walter Colton
“Borrowed thoughts, like borrowed money, only show the poverty of the borrower.”
- Lady Marguerite Blessington, Countess of Blessington
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EXCERPT FROM A NIGHTMARE FROM HELL
My entire body ached and the pounding in my skull was relentless as I tried to sooth the smaller boy in my arms. I probably had a concussion and I fervently hoped nothing was broken on my insides or that I had any internal bleeding. I could feel Cody finally slipping into a deep state of sleep as exhaustion took hold with me not far behind. The way I was lying in the hollow and all wrapped up like a cocoon I wasn’t worried about us coming undone in our sleep. In this gentle reclining position it was comfortable and even my legs were secured well enough with the blanket and the larger root sticking up on my one side that I knew it would remain in place even if I fell asleep. Deep down I knew I should try to stay awake if I had a concussion, but I was exhausted and the soft warmth of Cody’s body only managed to lull me even further. His scent, intermingling with the warm comfort like feeling I was experiencing, finally became too much for me as I slowly nodded off. Even the pounding in my head and the achiness of my body wasn’t enough to hold off sleep as it took me in its dark gentle embrace.
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A TIME OF GRIEVING
There was a sense of well being while I slept, but just under the surface there was also the danger of emptiness and heartache. It always threatened to take hold upon awakening and I could feel it beginning to rouse as the steady rhythmic beating and whirring sounds of machines began to tug on the edges of my consciousness. Slowly I began to stir awake with the memories of the last couple days rearing its ugly head.
The ordeal Cody and I endured had come to an end the following morning when the search dogs had located us. We were both still fast asleep wrapped up beneath the blanket and in one another’s arms when we were found. Cody had screamed bloody murder when they tried to separate him from me and he began sobbing uncontrollably reaching out for me. I wanted to comfort and soothe him, but I was barely conscious and couldn’t even move. My head was pounding refusing to go away, my body ached, and I had a hard time catching my breath. I was beat up pretty bad and my body was paying the price for my efforts from the previous night.
The smaller boy clung to my body, his arms and legs wrapped around me tightly as the EMT’s tried to pull him away so they could assess me. He was sobbing and I could feel his warm body trembling up against mine. He refused to let go and it wasn’t until I somehow managed to speak up that he finally relented. I promised him they wouldn’t keep us separated long and once in the hospital we would be together again. I had to assure him that I’d always be there for him no matter what. At the time I didn’t realize the promise I made would be broken and as I slowly began to stir awake in the middle of the night in the hospital it was one more guilt piled on to my numerous other ones.
Even though the ordeal had come to a close the repercussion of the trauma still lingered as I slowly opened my eyes. I could feel the warmth of Luke’s body snuggled up along my back with his chest pressed up against me and his arms somehow managing to wrap around the front of my body despite the I.V. lines and wires attached to my head and torso. After peeling Cody’s body from me the medical crew had whisked him away in an ambulance while the Emt’s worked on me before doing the same afterwards.
From what I could tell the fire had attracted the attention of the authorities with emergency crews responding. At the scene they had found the badly burned man and woman barely alive and had called for a medical crew. It had been a hectic scene and they saw to the needs of the burn victims hurrying them off to the trauma unit at the hospital. Both of them had second and third degree burns over most of their bodies and were suffering extreme pain along with severe smoke inhalation.
The fire crews managed to get the blaze under control thankful it had been raining or the flames could have easily spread to the surrounding forest. It wasn’t until the police began to do their investigation several hours later that one officer finally realized the significance of the parked van. Someone had witnessed what had happened to me and Marty, promptly reporting the description of the van. They had found my book bag on the sidewalk where I had been tying my shoes with my books, gym clothes, and phone inside. A massive search had been undertaken closer to the city and the immediate outlying area, but the van had been long gone and a couple of hours later we had been secured off the beaten path close to the border in this abandoned mill.
Once the officer knew what he was dealing with another massive search party was undertaken and by morning we had been found by the dogs. Throughout the day I had drifted in and out of consciousness in the hospital with me crying uncontrollably each time I woke up. My grandfather was there along with Luke and his family. When word got out about the abduction Luke was out of his mind with worry and had insisted they immediately head over. Mr. Oliva didn’t even hesitate gathering up his wife as well and driving all the way over to my grandfather’s house to be there for him.
Seeing Pops gaunt features when I woke up made me happy to know someone like the Oliva’s had been there for him. My grandfather was a healthy man for his age, but he was getting up in years and this had been a big blow to him. I’ve never seen him look so bad, not even when my grandmother passed away. Maybe that was because he had been prepared for the situation with Nana. Of course it had hit him hard when his wife passed away, but my abduction had struck him to the core.
My grandfather and the Oliva’s weren’t the only ones concerned because evidently several of my friends had tried to call me on my cell phone once they found out I had been found. The police had returned my things back to Pops while the search for me had been ongoing, so when he came to the hospital he had brought my phone along with other things I would need when I finally checked out of the hospital. There were several messages from Sienna and Joey on my cell, but I had ignored all of them.
The entire day had been god awful, well at least those moments I could recall since I was in and out of consciousness and barely able to hang on when awake as grief and guilt came crashing in on me. Every time I woke up the police had tried to grill me for information, which only made matters worse. I began to panic knowing they were probably doing the same to Cody and the poor kid was probably frightened by it all. I was going out of my mind with worry for the boy. I had asked about Cody several times until someone finally told me that his parents had taken him home to get him away from everything since there didn’t seem to be any health issues with him.
All of this registered only dimly in the back of my thoughts because I was grief stricken at the loss of Marty, my mind constantly rehashing the previous day’s events over and over. It was my fault despite what everyone was telling me and I simply wanted to be left alone so I could curl up in a corner to wallow in my own sorrows. No matter what anyone told me I knew deep down all of this had been my fault.
It was quiet in the room and I knew it was really late when I began to slowly wake up. For some reason Luke had remained by my side refusing to go home with his folks. It reminded me of when Nana had passed away and he sat with me at the burial site even though it was pouring down rain. I had sat there for hours stricken with grief and he had silently sat by my side refusing to leave.
It was late at night as I now began to cry softly, the painful memories of Marty’s death once more wrapping their cold grip around my beating heart. My grief ran deep and it threatened to swallow me up in darkness, and in many ways I welcomed it, as I felt Luke stirring awake and gently holding me tighter in his arms. I could hear his voice whispering in my ear that everything would be just fine. I wanted to believe him, but I knew nothing would ever be right again. There was so much death surrounding me and it was mostly my fault. My parents were murdered because of me, and sometimes I even wondered if Nana dying was partially my fault as well. After all my grandparents spent so much time worrying over me those first few years with my nightmares, wetting the bed, and even day terrors where I would simply zone out for no reason at all.
The people I loved kept dying while I lived. Even Marty had now died because of my rash decision. I should have been faster with my chains instead of worrying so much about breaking the chisel. In the end my caution had ruined everything with Marty paying the ultimate price and perhaps mentally scarring Cody forever as well since he had to watch the boy die right in front of him. No little kid should ever have to witness something so horrible, and throughout it all the ten year old boy had shown such courage making me feel ashamed at my own actions.
My sobs began to wrack my body and I could feel the aches and pains all over. My head began to pound again as well. The doctors had examined me from head to toe with Pops there every step of the way and to everyone’s relief there weren’t any broken bones or serious head damage. In some ways I wished it had been worse since I deserved it; instead, I only had a mild concussion, some bruised ribs, and no internal bleeding or any swelling of the brain.
“It’s alright Latham, just go back to sleep. I’m right here and won’t let you go. Tomorrow we are heading to the cabin to get away from everything. You’ll see, it will be all good.” I heard Luke whispering through the hazy fog of my mind, but deep down I knew it would never be all good anymore.
It was really sweet of him and I knew I should be thankful, but it felt like I was drowning in my own grief. I couldn’t shake it, and there was a sense of dread inside of me as I continued to cry myself to sleep like I had done all day. I felt completely drained from the inside out as I slipped back into an uncomfortable sleep with nightmares threatening to overwhelm me now.
After that the days seemed to slip by while I remained in my hazy fog spiraling down into a deep depression that I simply couldn’t shake. I don’t know how often I emptied out the contents inside of my stomach when it would simply turn topsy-turvey on me. Luke stayed with us, helping me through those awful moments when I retched and sobbed. At night he would snuggle up in bed with me easing some of the tensions and keeping the nightmares that always threatened to engulf my dreams at bay. When Monday arrived Pops took us across the lake and drove Luke to school while we went to the hospital. He had so many things to do, but was afraid to leave me alone; not in my frame of mind. Half of the time I wasn’t even aware of my surrounding simply taking things day by day.
I’d wake up in the morning barely aware of Pops or Luke trying to make conversation with me and doing just about anything to snap me out of my depression. While Luke would be off to school I’d hang around the hospital mostly sitting off by myself barely aware of people coming and going. After classes Luke would come over and he’d sit with me talking and carrying on a conversation as if I was an active participant. I barely uttered a word, but he persisted and never gave in. I’d hear him chatting with Sienna on the phone every once in a while, but more often it was Joey who checked up on me the most wanting to know how I was doing. It was strange how it was the guys in my life who seemed to care more about my wellbeing than my own girlfriend. I knew she cared, but it was almost as if I had become a burden to her somehow.
To his credit Luke managed to get skype set up with Joey and they began video conferencing with one another. He’d sit next to me so the other boy could see how I was doing, but I never said much only dimly aware of them in the back of my thoughts. My long time friend explained to Joey not to expect much and that I wasn’t responding at all to hardly anything. To my surprise Joey didn’t seem bothered by my lack of responses to him and like Luke he chatted away including me in the conversations. He talked about all sorts of things and how everyone missed me at school and was relieved to hear I was alright. He talked about our Social Studies project and mentioned the kids were really sad to hear about Marty, which sent me into another fit of sobs and through my tears I could see both Luke and Joey crying as well.
The eleven year old boy merely wrapped his arm around my shoulder and held on to me while I sobbed and got it out of my system. For the entire week Luke stayed with me at the cabin and we sort of fell into a routine. I’d wake up in the morning and get cleaned up with Joey doing the same. We’d take him across the lake to school while I languished at the hospital all alone with grief weighing heavily on my shoulders. Then suddenly Luke would be there again getting the laptop from one of the staff members and opening up skype so we could chat with Joey. My friend back home never missed a day and was always there trying to cheer me up. A tight friendship was forming between the other two boys as they rallied together to bring me out of my ever deepening depression.
Around dinner time Pops would finally take us back to the cabin where Luke started a fire heating up the boiler for the shower. Pops would make us a quick supper and then afterwards I’d go grab a nice hot shower. When I finished Luke took one as well getting cleaned up for the evening. Pops had his own shower at the office so he always took one there first thing in the morning when we arrived at the hospital. Afterwards I’d crawl into bed while Luke did his homework keeping an eye on me until I fell asleep. At some point I’d feel him snuggling up to me in the small bed and fall asleep next to me. It was comforting to feel him so close and I wondered what would happen at the end of the week. Pops already mentioned we’d be heading back for Marty’s funeral which he had arranged, and then I’d have to go back to school and finish up. We only had a few weeks left and somehow I’d have to find a way to get through my exams and finish up my class assignments.
As Saturday approached PopPop finally sat me down looking serious. I could tell there were some very weighty issues on his mind and he hesitated for a few moments before taking a deep breath informing me there were some things we needed to discuss. First up, was the matter concerning the man and woman who had held Marty captive for years before the smaller boy escaped; the very same people who later had abducted us and killed Marty. Evidently their injuries had been so severe they both had died in the hospital not long after arriving. I had mixed emotions about it which was difficult for me to get a handle on. In some ways I felt they deserved what they got, but it was at my hands they had died in such an appalling way making me wonder if I was a horrible person for feeling the way I did about it. They were two more people added to my list of those who had died because of me and I was guilt ridden about it.
If this information wasn’t bad enough Pops wanted to talk about the preparations he had made for Marty’s burial. I sat at the table my mind unable to grasp most of what he was saying as I struggled with my emotions. The mere mention of Marty’s name was enough to send tears down the sides of my cheeks, but with patience my grandfather finally managed to somehow get through to me. It was a difficult thing for me to talk about, but I needed to do the right thing by him because I understood just how important this was for everyone who knew the boy. He didn’t have many people in his short time with us, but he did touch those all around him. It was the only time during our entire stay at the cabin where I had been somewhat myself as I helped PopPop plan the funeral.
Some of my suggestions worried Pops and he wasn’t sure if I was up to it, but I was perhaps the closest person to Marty that he’s had in years so wanted to do everything right. It was the only way I could show how much he had meant to me. Even though we had him for only a short while in our lives, to me he was my friend, my brother, and family; someone who I cared about and loved. He brought the best out of me, and the funeral would be my only chance to show how much I cared. I’m sure he had a family out there who were still looking for him and who had loved him very much before he was snatched away from them. Marty and I had talked a lot about it together and he seemed to recall having a loving family, but it had simply been very fuzzy and difficult for him to actually remember everything from the time before he was taken.
When we finally finished my head was pounding and I retreated back to my room and fell into a fitful sleep. If it hadn’t been for Luke I’m sure I would have had some horrific nightmares that night. The following day I felt sluggish and sick to my stomach with nothing staying down for long. Pops was worried and gave me some medication to settle my stomach which seemed to help a little.
When Saturday rolled around we got up really early to head back home. We stopped at Luke’s place so he could get a change of clothes. His mom and dad would be coming over on their own and several of his uncles, aunts, and cousins were also coming to pay their respects. Afterwards, Luke would be heading back home with his folks because we would be going home as well since come Monday I was reporting back to school. That had been Pops decision and even though I wasn’t up for it I hadn’t argued because I knew I had to finish up. It was only another few weeks anyway before summer vacation, so I’d simply go through the motions if I had to and get it behind me.
We drove the couple of hours to our house with Luke’s parents meeting us there and I got changed into a suit that Pops had picked up for me since my other one no longer fit me. I had nice dress clothes, but today called for me to wear a dark suit. When I walked out into the living room PopPop gave me a sad smile nodding his head approvingly.
“You look very…grown up.” He told me sincerely with me sighing in relief because I don’t think I could have handled him saying something like ‘nice’ or ‘handsome.’
Leaving Luke behind with his folks, we arrived early at the funeral parlor because Pops had set up the viewing for people who wanted to come and pay their respects. The viewing officially wasn’t starting for another hour or so, but we arrived early and I stepped into the parlor with my grandfather at my side. It was quiet inside and the room was filled with flowers of condolences. It was an open casket and I stepped up to the coffin with tears running down my cheeks. Marty was lying inside of it and wearing a suit as well with a peaceful look on his features, the same one I’d see on him when he was asleep in my arms, the memory almost too unbearable.
“I…I’m sooooo sorry Marty,” I began to sob, the guilt once more bubbling to the surface and overwhelming me.
It was too much and I crumpled to the floor while huge sobs racked my body. I was still hurting from my injuries and I began to cry so hard everything started to ache with my headache thundering inside my skull. I couldn’t stop crying and Pops stayed with me until there was nothing else to give. It took a good thirty minutes for me to cry myself out and when I was done my grandfather helped me to the bathroom where I somehow managed to get cleaned up.
Returning to the parlor was difficult for me, but I took a seat close to Marty’s coffin on a seat right next to the aisle and stared off into space everything going blank inside of me. A short while later friends and family began to arrive and offer us their condolences. One of the first to arrive was Luke and his family. The boy immediately sat down next to me taking my hand into his as he stroked it tenderly. Sienna showed up as well and wanted to sit next to me, but when Luke started to get up I refused to let go. She tried to console me but I stared at her with blank eyes. When she left to make room for others I could see she was crying.
A few moments later Joey stepped in front of me and when I looked up into his face he was simply crushed with tears flowing down his face. I got up and wrapped my arms around him as we both began to sob with Luke joining in as well. People didn’t know what to do and left us alone to our grief.
“Oh god Latham, I’m sooooo-sooooo sorry. I miss Marty so much. You know I cared about him and thought of him as a friend even though we only knew each other for a short period of time.” He sniffled while I nodded and we all took a step back.
“I know Joey and I’m sorry that I’ve been in such a funk. You and Luke have been there for me throughout and I’m still having a hard time. I…I just have to be strong for a little bit today…alright…b…but it hurts something awful. All of this is my fault. I failed him…I failed the one who needed me the most.” I croaked unable to talk anymore as the guilt and pain threatened to overwhelm me once more.
I could feel myself being lowered to my chair with Luke taking a seat right next to me and holding my hand while Joey sat next to Luke with the two of them holding hands as well. I’m sure it must have looked strange to other people with the three of us holding hands like this, but even though they were younger than me I realized that out of all my friends I felt the closest to them. They were even closer than Sienna, the thought tickling the back of my thoughts making me wonder just what this may mean. It was only a fleeting thought because darkness once more seemed to wrap around my mind with everything fading off into the background.
It wasn’t until Luke gently shook my shoulders and whispered in my ear that the world once more seemed to come into focus. I must have sat there for a couple of hours without realizing it and even missed the sermon by the priest because he was currently looking at me from the pulpit. My body had become stiff and my mind sluggish with Pops walking over towards me from the other side of the aisle to whisper in my ear.
“Are you sure Latham?” He asked looking me over while I nodded my head numbly taking a deep breath to steady my nerves.
With Luke holding on to my arm on one side and Pops pulling on my other one I managed to stand up and take a step forward only to falter with my knees buckling. I heard the crowd’s sharp intake of breath, but Pops held on and steadied me for a moment until I nodded my head and made my way up to the podium. When I looked up I was surprised to see so many people. The room was completely filled from wall to wall with neighbors, family friends, and people I knew from school. There weren’t enough seats and many people were even standing with it stretching out the door and into the hallway.
The room even had a balcony and as I looked up I recognized many classmates sitting up there, mostly from my choir which was a fitting place for them because it was right next to the small group my grandfather had hired to play music. My friends in the choir had all come to know Marty because he had sat in and listened while we sang. I hadn’t realized Marty had touched so many lives in the short amount of time he was with us and I was happy they were here.
This was a private ceremony with security being very strict since the news media had made a big deal out of it, but I never expected so many people to show up. Pops had given strict orders that the media was not allowed anywhere near us, with the police even providing protection under the circumstances; however, all the people I saw stuffed into the room weren’t strangers and there wasn’t a dry eye among them. These were all people Pops and I knew and loved with many of them never having even met Marty, but paying their respects nonetheless.
Looking over towards Marty lying in the casket I almost lost it again with guilt and shame rising up inside of me. I could taste my own bile as it gurgled up through my throat and into my mouth, but somehow I managed to keep it at bay. There would be time enough to grieve some more later, but right now this moment belonged to Marty.
“Th…thank you all for coming,” I whispered so softly it was barely detectable, but it had become deathly quiet in the room so everyone heard me through the microphone as I lifted a glass of water with trembling hands up to my lips trying to clear my throat.
My voice even echoed in the hallway and into some of the other rooms through the open door as I realized they must have wired the entire place to accommodate so many people at the last moment. I also noticed the in-house camera systems were on indicating they probably had television screens set up in the other rooms for those who couldn’t fit inside the main one.
“Th…this is…,” I started to speak with my voice catching in my throat as a sob escaped with my gaze falling on Pops who stood close by and nodded towards me encouragingly. “This is so unexpected…all of you…and…and…we thank you from the bottom of our hearts. Th…this is hard for me so please forgive me if I mess up, but this is something Marty loved and it is only proper I share one of the things he treasured so much. I…I want to sing, but I don’t know if I can trust my voice. I’ll try, but I want to apologize right now, just in case. I changed the words a little, but for some reason Marty loved this song. It’s called ‘In the arms of an Angel’ by Sarah McLaughlin. I changed some of the words to make it Marty’s own song. I think my grandfather had the words printed up and they are in the brochures that were handed out.” I explained looking around the room through blurry eyes because they had welled up with tears.
Looking up into the balcony I nodded my head as the small orchestra group began to play a soft somber song. At the proper moment I began to sing, my voice becoming very shaky. I made it through the first line and began to break down with the music simply running through the melodies waiting for me to pick up at the proper moment and try again. From the corner of my eye I noticed some movement as people shifted out of the way making room for a few more people making me wonder if they simply had wanted to get a better look to see what was going on. It made me lose my spot of entry and when I looked up into the balcony the lady on the piano was looking down at me as if to gauge how I was doing as she continued to carry the tune. I nodded my head indicating I was ready and she slowed the tempo down to allow me to catch the right moment easing me back into the flow.
Once more I began to sing and once more I began to falter, but suddenly Joey stood up and joined my voice with his and right away there were strong voices in the balcony joining in as well helping me along as I started the verse over from the beginning our voices joining together as one. We had rehearsed this song so many times together that it only came naturally to us, even with the changes to some of the wording. I started us back at the beginning and they all followed my lead with our voices filling the entire building as they read the changed lines on their program they had been handed.
Feel free to email me at ([email protected]). I respond to all of my readers.
This work is copyrighted © by Hunter Woods. No part of this story may be transmitted or reproduced in whole or in part in any form including mechanical, electronic, photocopying, and recording or by any information storage and retrieval system without the express written consent of the author. For those of you who just blow this off and decide to steal anyway keep these thoughts below in mind:
“Intentionally using the quotes of others without author attribution is plagiarism and contributes to illiteracy.”
- Rain Bojangles
“Most plagiarists, like the drone, have neither taste to select, industry to acquire, nor skill to improve, but impudently pilfer the honey ready prepared, from the hive.”
- Walter Colton
“Borrowed thoughts, like borrowed money, only show the poverty of the borrower.”
- Lady Marguerite Blessington, Countess of Blessington
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EXCERPT FROM A NIGHTMARE FROM HELL
My entire body ached and the pounding in my skull was relentless as I tried to sooth the smaller boy in my arms. I probably had a concussion and I fervently hoped nothing was broken on my insides or that I had any internal bleeding. I could feel Cody finally slipping into a deep state of sleep as exhaustion took hold with me not far behind. The way I was lying in the hollow and all wrapped up like a cocoon I wasn’t worried about us coming undone in our sleep. In this gentle reclining position it was comfortable and even my legs were secured well enough with the blanket and the larger root sticking up on my one side that I knew it would remain in place even if I fell asleep. Deep down I knew I should try to stay awake if I had a concussion, but I was exhausted and the soft warmth of Cody’s body only managed to lull me even further. His scent, intermingling with the warm comfort like feeling I was experiencing, finally became too much for me as I slowly nodded off. Even the pounding in my head and the achiness of my body wasn’t enough to hold off sleep as it took me in its dark gentle embrace.
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A TIME OF GRIEVING
There was a sense of well being while I slept, but just under the surface there was also the danger of emptiness and heartache. It always threatened to take hold upon awakening and I could feel it beginning to rouse as the steady rhythmic beating and whirring sounds of machines began to tug on the edges of my consciousness. Slowly I began to stir awake with the memories of the last couple days rearing its ugly head.
The ordeal Cody and I endured had come to an end the following morning when the search dogs had located us. We were both still fast asleep wrapped up beneath the blanket and in one another’s arms when we were found. Cody had screamed bloody murder when they tried to separate him from me and he began sobbing uncontrollably reaching out for me. I wanted to comfort and soothe him, but I was barely conscious and couldn’t even move. My head was pounding refusing to go away, my body ached, and I had a hard time catching my breath. I was beat up pretty bad and my body was paying the price for my efforts from the previous night.
The smaller boy clung to my body, his arms and legs wrapped around me tightly as the EMT’s tried to pull him away so they could assess me. He was sobbing and I could feel his warm body trembling up against mine. He refused to let go and it wasn’t until I somehow managed to speak up that he finally relented. I promised him they wouldn’t keep us separated long and once in the hospital we would be together again. I had to assure him that I’d always be there for him no matter what. At the time I didn’t realize the promise I made would be broken and as I slowly began to stir awake in the middle of the night in the hospital it was one more guilt piled on to my numerous other ones.
Even though the ordeal had come to a close the repercussion of the trauma still lingered as I slowly opened my eyes. I could feel the warmth of Luke’s body snuggled up along my back with his chest pressed up against me and his arms somehow managing to wrap around the front of my body despite the I.V. lines and wires attached to my head and torso. After peeling Cody’s body from me the medical crew had whisked him away in an ambulance while the Emt’s worked on me before doing the same afterwards.
From what I could tell the fire had attracted the attention of the authorities with emergency crews responding. At the scene they had found the badly burned man and woman barely alive and had called for a medical crew. It had been a hectic scene and they saw to the needs of the burn victims hurrying them off to the trauma unit at the hospital. Both of them had second and third degree burns over most of their bodies and were suffering extreme pain along with severe smoke inhalation.
The fire crews managed to get the blaze under control thankful it had been raining or the flames could have easily spread to the surrounding forest. It wasn’t until the police began to do their investigation several hours later that one officer finally realized the significance of the parked van. Someone had witnessed what had happened to me and Marty, promptly reporting the description of the van. They had found my book bag on the sidewalk where I had been tying my shoes with my books, gym clothes, and phone inside. A massive search had been undertaken closer to the city and the immediate outlying area, but the van had been long gone and a couple of hours later we had been secured off the beaten path close to the border in this abandoned mill.
Once the officer knew what he was dealing with another massive search party was undertaken and by morning we had been found by the dogs. Throughout the day I had drifted in and out of consciousness in the hospital with me crying uncontrollably each time I woke up. My grandfather was there along with Luke and his family. When word got out about the abduction Luke was out of his mind with worry and had insisted they immediately head over. Mr. Oliva didn’t even hesitate gathering up his wife as well and driving all the way over to my grandfather’s house to be there for him.
Seeing Pops gaunt features when I woke up made me happy to know someone like the Oliva’s had been there for him. My grandfather was a healthy man for his age, but he was getting up in years and this had been a big blow to him. I’ve never seen him look so bad, not even when my grandmother passed away. Maybe that was because he had been prepared for the situation with Nana. Of course it had hit him hard when his wife passed away, but my abduction had struck him to the core.
My grandfather and the Oliva’s weren’t the only ones concerned because evidently several of my friends had tried to call me on my cell phone once they found out I had been found. The police had returned my things back to Pops while the search for me had been ongoing, so when he came to the hospital he had brought my phone along with other things I would need when I finally checked out of the hospital. There were several messages from Sienna and Joey on my cell, but I had ignored all of them.
The entire day had been god awful, well at least those moments I could recall since I was in and out of consciousness and barely able to hang on when awake as grief and guilt came crashing in on me. Every time I woke up the police had tried to grill me for information, which only made matters worse. I began to panic knowing they were probably doing the same to Cody and the poor kid was probably frightened by it all. I was going out of my mind with worry for the boy. I had asked about Cody several times until someone finally told me that his parents had taken him home to get him away from everything since there didn’t seem to be any health issues with him.
All of this registered only dimly in the back of my thoughts because I was grief stricken at the loss of Marty, my mind constantly rehashing the previous day’s events over and over. It was my fault despite what everyone was telling me and I simply wanted to be left alone so I could curl up in a corner to wallow in my own sorrows. No matter what anyone told me I knew deep down all of this had been my fault.
It was quiet in the room and I knew it was really late when I began to slowly wake up. For some reason Luke had remained by my side refusing to go home with his folks. It reminded me of when Nana had passed away and he sat with me at the burial site even though it was pouring down rain. I had sat there for hours stricken with grief and he had silently sat by my side refusing to leave.
It was late at night as I now began to cry softly, the painful memories of Marty’s death once more wrapping their cold grip around my beating heart. My grief ran deep and it threatened to swallow me up in darkness, and in many ways I welcomed it, as I felt Luke stirring awake and gently holding me tighter in his arms. I could hear his voice whispering in my ear that everything would be just fine. I wanted to believe him, but I knew nothing would ever be right again. There was so much death surrounding me and it was mostly my fault. My parents were murdered because of me, and sometimes I even wondered if Nana dying was partially my fault as well. After all my grandparents spent so much time worrying over me those first few years with my nightmares, wetting the bed, and even day terrors where I would simply zone out for no reason at all.
The people I loved kept dying while I lived. Even Marty had now died because of my rash decision. I should have been faster with my chains instead of worrying so much about breaking the chisel. In the end my caution had ruined everything with Marty paying the ultimate price and perhaps mentally scarring Cody forever as well since he had to watch the boy die right in front of him. No little kid should ever have to witness something so horrible, and throughout it all the ten year old boy had shown such courage making me feel ashamed at my own actions.
My sobs began to wrack my body and I could feel the aches and pains all over. My head began to pound again as well. The doctors had examined me from head to toe with Pops there every step of the way and to everyone’s relief there weren’t any broken bones or serious head damage. In some ways I wished it had been worse since I deserved it; instead, I only had a mild concussion, some bruised ribs, and no internal bleeding or any swelling of the brain.
“It’s alright Latham, just go back to sleep. I’m right here and won’t let you go. Tomorrow we are heading to the cabin to get away from everything. You’ll see, it will be all good.” I heard Luke whispering through the hazy fog of my mind, but deep down I knew it would never be all good anymore.
It was really sweet of him and I knew I should be thankful, but it felt like I was drowning in my own grief. I couldn’t shake it, and there was a sense of dread inside of me as I continued to cry myself to sleep like I had done all day. I felt completely drained from the inside out as I slipped back into an uncomfortable sleep with nightmares threatening to overwhelm me now.
After that the days seemed to slip by while I remained in my hazy fog spiraling down into a deep depression that I simply couldn’t shake. I don’t know how often I emptied out the contents inside of my stomach when it would simply turn topsy-turvey on me. Luke stayed with us, helping me through those awful moments when I retched and sobbed. At night he would snuggle up in bed with me easing some of the tensions and keeping the nightmares that always threatened to engulf my dreams at bay. When Monday arrived Pops took us across the lake and drove Luke to school while we went to the hospital. He had so many things to do, but was afraid to leave me alone; not in my frame of mind. Half of the time I wasn’t even aware of my surrounding simply taking things day by day.
I’d wake up in the morning barely aware of Pops or Luke trying to make conversation with me and doing just about anything to snap me out of my depression. While Luke would be off to school I’d hang around the hospital mostly sitting off by myself barely aware of people coming and going. After classes Luke would come over and he’d sit with me talking and carrying on a conversation as if I was an active participant. I barely uttered a word, but he persisted and never gave in. I’d hear him chatting with Sienna on the phone every once in a while, but more often it was Joey who checked up on me the most wanting to know how I was doing. It was strange how it was the guys in my life who seemed to care more about my wellbeing than my own girlfriend. I knew she cared, but it was almost as if I had become a burden to her somehow.
To his credit Luke managed to get skype set up with Joey and they began video conferencing with one another. He’d sit next to me so the other boy could see how I was doing, but I never said much only dimly aware of them in the back of my thoughts. My long time friend explained to Joey not to expect much and that I wasn’t responding at all to hardly anything. To my surprise Joey didn’t seem bothered by my lack of responses to him and like Luke he chatted away including me in the conversations. He talked about all sorts of things and how everyone missed me at school and was relieved to hear I was alright. He talked about our Social Studies project and mentioned the kids were really sad to hear about Marty, which sent me into another fit of sobs and through my tears I could see both Luke and Joey crying as well.
The eleven year old boy merely wrapped his arm around my shoulder and held on to me while I sobbed and got it out of my system. For the entire week Luke stayed with me at the cabin and we sort of fell into a routine. I’d wake up in the morning and get cleaned up with Joey doing the same. We’d take him across the lake to school while I languished at the hospital all alone with grief weighing heavily on my shoulders. Then suddenly Luke would be there again getting the laptop from one of the staff members and opening up skype so we could chat with Joey. My friend back home never missed a day and was always there trying to cheer me up. A tight friendship was forming between the other two boys as they rallied together to bring me out of my ever deepening depression.
Around dinner time Pops would finally take us back to the cabin where Luke started a fire heating up the boiler for the shower. Pops would make us a quick supper and then afterwards I’d go grab a nice hot shower. When I finished Luke took one as well getting cleaned up for the evening. Pops had his own shower at the office so he always took one there first thing in the morning when we arrived at the hospital. Afterwards I’d crawl into bed while Luke did his homework keeping an eye on me until I fell asleep. At some point I’d feel him snuggling up to me in the small bed and fall asleep next to me. It was comforting to feel him so close and I wondered what would happen at the end of the week. Pops already mentioned we’d be heading back for Marty’s funeral which he had arranged, and then I’d have to go back to school and finish up. We only had a few weeks left and somehow I’d have to find a way to get through my exams and finish up my class assignments.
As Saturday approached PopPop finally sat me down looking serious. I could tell there were some very weighty issues on his mind and he hesitated for a few moments before taking a deep breath informing me there were some things we needed to discuss. First up, was the matter concerning the man and woman who had held Marty captive for years before the smaller boy escaped; the very same people who later had abducted us and killed Marty. Evidently their injuries had been so severe they both had died in the hospital not long after arriving. I had mixed emotions about it which was difficult for me to get a handle on. In some ways I felt they deserved what they got, but it was at my hands they had died in such an appalling way making me wonder if I was a horrible person for feeling the way I did about it. They were two more people added to my list of those who had died because of me and I was guilt ridden about it.
If this information wasn’t bad enough Pops wanted to talk about the preparations he had made for Marty’s burial. I sat at the table my mind unable to grasp most of what he was saying as I struggled with my emotions. The mere mention of Marty’s name was enough to send tears down the sides of my cheeks, but with patience my grandfather finally managed to somehow get through to me. It was a difficult thing for me to talk about, but I needed to do the right thing by him because I understood just how important this was for everyone who knew the boy. He didn’t have many people in his short time with us, but he did touch those all around him. It was the only time during our entire stay at the cabin where I had been somewhat myself as I helped PopPop plan the funeral.
Some of my suggestions worried Pops and he wasn’t sure if I was up to it, but I was perhaps the closest person to Marty that he’s had in years so wanted to do everything right. It was the only way I could show how much he had meant to me. Even though we had him for only a short while in our lives, to me he was my friend, my brother, and family; someone who I cared about and loved. He brought the best out of me, and the funeral would be my only chance to show how much I cared. I’m sure he had a family out there who were still looking for him and who had loved him very much before he was snatched away from them. Marty and I had talked a lot about it together and he seemed to recall having a loving family, but it had simply been very fuzzy and difficult for him to actually remember everything from the time before he was taken.
When we finally finished my head was pounding and I retreated back to my room and fell into a fitful sleep. If it hadn’t been for Luke I’m sure I would have had some horrific nightmares that night. The following day I felt sluggish and sick to my stomach with nothing staying down for long. Pops was worried and gave me some medication to settle my stomach which seemed to help a little.
When Saturday rolled around we got up really early to head back home. We stopped at Luke’s place so he could get a change of clothes. His mom and dad would be coming over on their own and several of his uncles, aunts, and cousins were also coming to pay their respects. Afterwards, Luke would be heading back home with his folks because we would be going home as well since come Monday I was reporting back to school. That had been Pops decision and even though I wasn’t up for it I hadn’t argued because I knew I had to finish up. It was only another few weeks anyway before summer vacation, so I’d simply go through the motions if I had to and get it behind me.
We drove the couple of hours to our house with Luke’s parents meeting us there and I got changed into a suit that Pops had picked up for me since my other one no longer fit me. I had nice dress clothes, but today called for me to wear a dark suit. When I walked out into the living room PopPop gave me a sad smile nodding his head approvingly.
“You look very…grown up.” He told me sincerely with me sighing in relief because I don’t think I could have handled him saying something like ‘nice’ or ‘handsome.’
Leaving Luke behind with his folks, we arrived early at the funeral parlor because Pops had set up the viewing for people who wanted to come and pay their respects. The viewing officially wasn’t starting for another hour or so, but we arrived early and I stepped into the parlor with my grandfather at my side. It was quiet inside and the room was filled with flowers of condolences. It was an open casket and I stepped up to the coffin with tears running down my cheeks. Marty was lying inside of it and wearing a suit as well with a peaceful look on his features, the same one I’d see on him when he was asleep in my arms, the memory almost too unbearable.
“I…I’m sooooo sorry Marty,” I began to sob, the guilt once more bubbling to the surface and overwhelming me.
It was too much and I crumpled to the floor while huge sobs racked my body. I was still hurting from my injuries and I began to cry so hard everything started to ache with my headache thundering inside my skull. I couldn’t stop crying and Pops stayed with me until there was nothing else to give. It took a good thirty minutes for me to cry myself out and when I was done my grandfather helped me to the bathroom where I somehow managed to get cleaned up.
Returning to the parlor was difficult for me, but I took a seat close to Marty’s coffin on a seat right next to the aisle and stared off into space everything going blank inside of me. A short while later friends and family began to arrive and offer us their condolences. One of the first to arrive was Luke and his family. The boy immediately sat down next to me taking my hand into his as he stroked it tenderly. Sienna showed up as well and wanted to sit next to me, but when Luke started to get up I refused to let go. She tried to console me but I stared at her with blank eyes. When she left to make room for others I could see she was crying.
A few moments later Joey stepped in front of me and when I looked up into his face he was simply crushed with tears flowing down his face. I got up and wrapped my arms around him as we both began to sob with Luke joining in as well. People didn’t know what to do and left us alone to our grief.
“Oh god Latham, I’m sooooo-sooooo sorry. I miss Marty so much. You know I cared about him and thought of him as a friend even though we only knew each other for a short period of time.” He sniffled while I nodded and we all took a step back.
“I know Joey and I’m sorry that I’ve been in such a funk. You and Luke have been there for me throughout and I’m still having a hard time. I…I just have to be strong for a little bit today…alright…b…but it hurts something awful. All of this is my fault. I failed him…I failed the one who needed me the most.” I croaked unable to talk anymore as the guilt and pain threatened to overwhelm me once more.
I could feel myself being lowered to my chair with Luke taking a seat right next to me and holding my hand while Joey sat next to Luke with the two of them holding hands as well. I’m sure it must have looked strange to other people with the three of us holding hands like this, but even though they were younger than me I realized that out of all my friends I felt the closest to them. They were even closer than Sienna, the thought tickling the back of my thoughts making me wonder just what this may mean. It was only a fleeting thought because darkness once more seemed to wrap around my mind with everything fading off into the background.
It wasn’t until Luke gently shook my shoulders and whispered in my ear that the world once more seemed to come into focus. I must have sat there for a couple of hours without realizing it and even missed the sermon by the priest because he was currently looking at me from the pulpit. My body had become stiff and my mind sluggish with Pops walking over towards me from the other side of the aisle to whisper in my ear.
“Are you sure Latham?” He asked looking me over while I nodded my head numbly taking a deep breath to steady my nerves.
With Luke holding on to my arm on one side and Pops pulling on my other one I managed to stand up and take a step forward only to falter with my knees buckling. I heard the crowd’s sharp intake of breath, but Pops held on and steadied me for a moment until I nodded my head and made my way up to the podium. When I looked up I was surprised to see so many people. The room was completely filled from wall to wall with neighbors, family friends, and people I knew from school. There weren’t enough seats and many people were even standing with it stretching out the door and into the hallway.
The room even had a balcony and as I looked up I recognized many classmates sitting up there, mostly from my choir which was a fitting place for them because it was right next to the small group my grandfather had hired to play music. My friends in the choir had all come to know Marty because he had sat in and listened while we sang. I hadn’t realized Marty had touched so many lives in the short amount of time he was with us and I was happy they were here.
This was a private ceremony with security being very strict since the news media had made a big deal out of it, but I never expected so many people to show up. Pops had given strict orders that the media was not allowed anywhere near us, with the police even providing protection under the circumstances; however, all the people I saw stuffed into the room weren’t strangers and there wasn’t a dry eye among them. These were all people Pops and I knew and loved with many of them never having even met Marty, but paying their respects nonetheless.
Looking over towards Marty lying in the casket I almost lost it again with guilt and shame rising up inside of me. I could taste my own bile as it gurgled up through my throat and into my mouth, but somehow I managed to keep it at bay. There would be time enough to grieve some more later, but right now this moment belonged to Marty.
“Th…thank you all for coming,” I whispered so softly it was barely detectable, but it had become deathly quiet in the room so everyone heard me through the microphone as I lifted a glass of water with trembling hands up to my lips trying to clear my throat.
My voice even echoed in the hallway and into some of the other rooms through the open door as I realized they must have wired the entire place to accommodate so many people at the last moment. I also noticed the in-house camera systems were on indicating they probably had television screens set up in the other rooms for those who couldn’t fit inside the main one.
“Th…this is…,” I started to speak with my voice catching in my throat as a sob escaped with my gaze falling on Pops who stood close by and nodded towards me encouragingly. “This is so unexpected…all of you…and…and…we thank you from the bottom of our hearts. Th…this is hard for me so please forgive me if I mess up, but this is something Marty loved and it is only proper I share one of the things he treasured so much. I…I want to sing, but I don’t know if I can trust my voice. I’ll try, but I want to apologize right now, just in case. I changed the words a little, but for some reason Marty loved this song. It’s called ‘In the arms of an Angel’ by Sarah McLaughlin. I changed some of the words to make it Marty’s own song. I think my grandfather had the words printed up and they are in the brochures that were handed out.” I explained looking around the room through blurry eyes because they had welled up with tears.
Looking up into the balcony I nodded my head as the small orchestra group began to play a soft somber song. At the proper moment I began to sing, my voice becoming very shaky. I made it through the first line and began to break down with the music simply running through the melodies waiting for me to pick up at the proper moment and try again. From the corner of my eye I noticed some movement as people shifted out of the way making room for a few more people making me wonder if they simply had wanted to get a better look to see what was going on. It made me lose my spot of entry and when I looked up into the balcony the lady on the piano was looking down at me as if to gauge how I was doing as she continued to carry the tune. I nodded my head indicating I was ready and she slowed the tempo down to allow me to catch the right moment easing me back into the flow.
Once more I began to sing and once more I began to falter, but suddenly Joey stood up and joined my voice with his and right away there were strong voices in the balcony joining in as well helping me along as I started the verse over from the beginning our voices joining together as one. We had rehearsed this song so many times together that it only came naturally to us, even with the changes to some of the wording. I started us back at the beginning and they all followed my lead with our voices filling the entire building as they read the changed lines on their program they had been handed.
Spend all your time waiting
For that second chance
For a break that would make it okay
There's always some reason
To feel not good enough
And it's hard at the end of the day
I need some distraction
Or a beautiful release
Memories seep from my veins
Let me be empty
Oh and weightless and maybe
I'll find some peace tonight
In the arms of the angel
Marty Fly from here
From this dark cruel cold world
And the endlessness that you fear
You are pulled from the wreckage
Of your silent reverie
You're in the arms of the angel
May you find some comfort here
So tired of the suffering pain
And everywhere you turn
There's vultures and thieves at your back
The storm keeps on twisting
Keep on building the lies
That you make up for all the world lacks
It don't make no difference
Escaping one last time
It's easier to believe
In this sweet madness
Oh this glorious sadness
That brings me to my knees
In the arms of the angel
Fly away from here
From this dark cruel cold world
And the endlessness that you fear
You are pulled from the wreckage
Of your silent reverie
You're in the arms of heavenly light
May you find some comfort there
Away from this dark cruel world of earth
For that second chance
For a break that would make it okay
There's always some reason
To feel not good enough
And it's hard at the end of the day
I need some distraction
Or a beautiful release
Memories seep from my veins
Let me be empty
Oh and weightless and maybe
I'll find some peace tonight
In the arms of the angel
Marty Fly from here
From this dark cruel cold world
And the endlessness that you fear
You are pulled from the wreckage
Of your silent reverie
You're in the arms of the angel
May you find some comfort here
So tired of the suffering pain
And everywhere you turn
There's vultures and thieves at your back
The storm keeps on twisting
Keep on building the lies
That you make up for all the world lacks
It don't make no difference
Escaping one last time
It's easier to believe
In this sweet madness
Oh this glorious sadness
That brings me to my knees
In the arms of the angel
Fly away from here
From this dark cruel cold world
And the endlessness that you fear
You are pulled from the wreckage
Of your silent reverie
You're in the arms of heavenly light
May you find some comfort there
Away from this dark cruel world of earth
Our collective voices faded away into silence, the entire place completely still as I stood there my body swaying dangerously. Pops noticed and so did Joey and Luke as all three of them jumped forward just in time to catch me before the darkness swallowed me up. My world was spinning and I was sobbing uncontrollably collapsing in their arms and letting them drag me to my chair. My mind once more receded into nothingness and I hadn’t even realized when we had all moved outside for the burial ceremony. Luke and Joey must have guided me outside with me moving alongside of them because I now sat motionless watching the casket being lowered into the ground.
My heart wrenched inside of my chest and just when I thought I had no more tears to give they began to tumble down the sides of my face once more. I had cried so much that I was actually hurting from the inside out as I sat there in stunned silence sobbing my heart out for a boy whose life had been cut short. He had lived a horrifying life of abuse and just when he should have been beginning it all over again with a bright future ahead of him it had simply been cruelly snuffed out forever.
I must have cried myself into a stupor again in the arms of my friends because suddenly I found myself sitting all alone in front of the open grave. At some point it had begun to rain, and I’m sure I must have refused to leave just like I had done when Nana died. This time though I was surprised to be all alone because the last time Luke had been there right next to me. Then I heard some shouting going on and when I looked around I saw Luke running towards the building where a group of people had milled around waving his arms frantically. Some more noise grabbed my attention and when I looked over I saw Joey running towards two people shouting for them to go away and to leave us alone.
It took me a second to understand, and then it all clicked into place. It was a reporter and a camera man running towards me and the guy with the microphone literally tossed Joey to the ground. Fear gripped my insides when I suddenly realized they were after me for an interview. I started to run, but then I recognized the reporter and to my surprise I was filled with rage. It was the same one who had found our house and created an uproar. Instead of running away I suddenly felt myself launching towards the reporter as my fingers dug into the man’s face and I screeched like a wild animal.
The reporter howled in pain and I began attacking him like an enraged beast, but he was a big guy and literally tossed me off of him. I stumbled backwards and nearly fell into the grave while the reporter kept shouting to his cameral man if he got the shot. I immediately launched back into the man shouting at him with wild flailing arms my punches flying everywhere as he tried to protect himself from me all the while shouting his camera man asking if he was getting this while taunting me at the same time.
“It’s your fault,” I yelled pushing forward while he backpedaled to avoid my fists. “I heard them…the man and woman. They said if it wasn’t for you they’d never have found Marty. He’d still be alive if it wasn’t for you.” I yelled gathering my strength and once more launched myself into the air going for his face wanting to gouge his eyeballs out for what he had done.
Suddenly I saw the reporter’s face turn red as if he was through with me and I watched while he lifted up his fist and backhanded me across the mouth. It was a powerful blow and I staggered backwards with the man’s face filled with rage now as well.
“You little shit. You think I’m just going to take it from a filthy little spoiled brat. I’ll teach you some manne…,” his voice was cut short with his body suddenly jerking sideway as if he had been hit by a bus.
He might as well have been hit by a tank because I watched as his body wrenched sideways at an unusual angle before suddenly being slammed into the side of the tree a couple of feet away. He smashed into it so hard I heard bones snapping and breaking with everything going deathly quiet for several seconds before there was an ear piercing scream of pain exploding into the air. It was cut short when I saw Mr. Oliva lift his huge fist and slam it several times into the reporters face with blood exploding everywhere. It was then several other people and the cops showed up pulling Mr. Oliva off of the reporter before he killed the man.
Evidently Luke must have run over to his father for help and Mr. Oliva had taken off towards us seeing the exchange. He never slowed down and had slammed all of his weight into the reporter literally cutting him in half before the large oak tree got in the way. With Mr. Oliva running at full steam and plowing into the man with the full weight of his build, the reporter had simply been broken to pieces. Even the large tree had shuddered with several branches overhead snapping off from the impact.
All the while I was still screaming how it was the reporter’s fault that Marty was killed. With the police on hand they immediately got things under control. At first they were going to arrest Mr. Oliva as well, but once they got statements from everyone it was clear the only charges going to be pressed would be against the reporter. Not only that, but through my ramblings they finally understood how the man and woman had managed to locate us. They had suspected all along; evidently Cody having mentioned it during his interview, but for some reason I had never managed to tell them when they had questioned me in the hospital. I had been so out of it I’m surprised they managed to get anything out of me at all at the time.
While everything was getting sorted out Pops managed to sneak me away and I once more began to break down. I was beginning to feel like a pinball machine with my emotions bouncing all over the place. The rage had filled me with energy and now that everything was over I felt completely drained emotionally, physically, and mentally. I was a complete basket case and Pops looked at me with concern etched all over his features. He looked me over and gave me some medication to settle me down. I was completely exhausted, but he couldn’t leave at the moment so he got one of our neighbors to take me home with them since the Oliva’s were occupied with the police.
By the time our neighbor got me home it was all I could do to get into my room. I had assured our neighbor I would be fine closing and locking our front door behind me. Luke wouldn’t be staying with me tonight because he had to head back home with his parents so I found myself all alone for the very first time. I made my way up into my room, got undressed dumping my damp suit and clothes on to the floor, and out of habit since Luke’s been snuggling up to me slipped into a pair of boxer briefs before crawling into my bed under the covers immediately falling asleep. I was exhausted and I ached from the inside out, from the top of my head all the way down to my toes and all I wanted to do was curl up and die. That wasn’t an option; so instead, I curled up under my blanket and faded off to sleep allowing the darkness of my mind to carry me away from this evil world even if it was just for a little while.
Dreams took over my slumbering state. I couldn’t seem to grasp on to them, but they left me feeling empty, void, and disturbed as I moaned softly trying to escape from them. After a while I was dimly aware of a conversation going on outside my bedroom door and then someone opening it up and slipping silently by my bedside. The faint fragrance of Pops cologne intermingled with his personal scent registered in the back of my mind as I continued to drowse not bothering to wake up. I could feel his gentle hands brushing through my hair and the light pressure of his lips brushing up against my forehead. I could hear myself sigh in relief as his presence finally seemed to scare away my dreams leaving me in peace for at least a little while. It was a strange sensation because even though I knew I was asleep I could still sense Pops moving back to the bedroom door and shutting it lightly behind him with his muffled voice drifting back into the room.
“I’m sorry, but he’s sleeping and I don’t want to wake him up. Marty’s death hit him really hard.” I heard his muffled voice relaying to someone who must have come over after the funeral. “What?” I heard him asking with another softer voice saying something I couldn’t quiet make out before Pop’s deeper voice registered again. “Yes…yes…of course…Jack.” I heard him respond. “Anyway, why don’t I show you where the rooms are so you can get squared away.” He added making me wonder briefly who was staying over before the thought flittered away with the calm empty darkness pulling me back into its embrace as I slipped further into a more comfortable sleep for now.
It was quiet all around me when my eyes suddenly snapped open and I tried to get my sluggish mind to focus. Something had woken me up, but I couldn’t for the life of me figure it out. There was a dull pounding in the back of my head as if waiting or threatening me with the opportunity to make its presence known. It made me wonder when my awful headaches would go away completely as I slowly sat up and groaned because all the aches inside of my body made its existence known. The entire ordeal of the funeral left both my mind and body lethargic as I looked around my darkened room a bit confused and befuddled. My mouth and throat were extremely dry and my tongue felt swollen as if someone had shoved cotton down into my maw and gullet. Everything was hazy and I simply couldn’t get focused, so with a little effort I stood up on wobbly legs. I was getting frustrated for feeling so out of it all the time, but I just couldn’t shake the sinking feeling inside of me, not with grief always looming all around me.
Sighing, I stumbled over to my door like some homeless drunk and somehow managed to get into the bathroom and relieve the pressure on my bladder. My tongue felt thick inside of my cottony dry mouth and when I tried to swallow it hurt my throat. I was completely parched and I wondered if it was the result of crying so hard at the funeral. It felt like I had cried buckets leaving me feeling drained, exhausted, and now completely dry inside. Eyeing the water coming from the faucet of the sink I was going to get a drink when I decided I’d prefer one of those nice cold bottles of PowerAde we had sitting in the refrigerator. After all they were supposed to hydrate a person and right now I felt parched through and through.
Stumbling my way to the refrigerator I began to shiver because it felt cold in the living room. It didn’t seem so bad in the kitchen, but when I opened up the refrigerator I shivered again. Reaching inside I retrieved the grape PowerAde and shut the door before unscrewing the cap and literally chugging down the entire contents of the one quart bottle without stopping. My mouth and throat were so dry I didn’t even feel the cold liquid sliding down my gullet. Finishing it off, I gasped for some air feeling not so dry anymore. It seemed to help a little but my mind still felt a bit fuzzy and my legs weren’t too stable under me
Hunching my shoulders and exhaling softly, I tossed the bottle into the trash can by the wall and started to navigate my way back to bed. As I rounded the corner into the living room a cold blast of air blew around my body making me shiver uncontrollably and wrap my arms around my naked torso. That’s when I noticed the door leading on to our porch was wide open. Someone must have left it open so I walked over to shut it before the entire house got cold not to mention all the rain making the inside completely wet.
It was raining hard outside with thunder and lightning off in the distance, and I could hear the large droplets beating against the wooden planking of balcony. Reaching for the door I glanced outside to look at the thunder storm and noticed a small silhouette standing outside in the cold rain looking completely drenched and lost. It was a smaller figure and I tried to focus my eyes because everything seemed so fuzzy, making me wonder if I were simply dreaming all of this. It had to be a dream because the small figure standing on the balcony looked just like Marty. My heart suddenly lurched and my stomach tightened while the rest of my insides fluttered like butterflies as fear gripped me.
“M…Marty?” I asked getting no response so I stepped outside feeling the rain droplets on my skin.
The small figure was dressed in a pair of pajamas that clung wetly to his body. Reaching out towards the stature, the other boy flinched and turned looking at me. I nearly jumped out of my skin because through the haziness of my eyes I realized it was Marty staring back at me. This was such a strange feeling and I had to be dreaming, but at the moment I didn’t care because it all felt so real. After the initial shock wore off I grabbed the smaller boy by the hand with tears running down my cheeks and let my so called dream take its path wherever it led.
“You are soaked to the bone. Let’s get you dried off and back into bed.” I offered up pulling lightly with the boy looking at me with a puzzled look on his features, but not resisting as we stepped inside the cozy warmth of the house closing the door behind us.
The boy tagged along, allowing me to hang on to his hand while I made my way back towards my room. I paused long enough to grab a dry towel and pulled him into my room not bothering with the light switch. It was a strange dream and felt real as I steered him towards my bed before running the towel over his head. The boy didn’t say a word and let me dry his long hair which hung down over his ears and on to his shoulders.
His short sleeved pajama top was completely soaked so I pulled it over his head dumping them on top of my clothes I had discarded earlier before wrapping the towel around his shoulders and using the ends to run over his chest and stomach. Motioning for him to hold on to the towel I reached for his bottoms and tugged them down his legs. The boy flinched for a second but remained still reminding me of how skittish he used to be about his erection while not so shy about his naked body in general other than his scars.
The boy stepped lightly out of his wet pajama bottoms placing one of his hands on my shoulder for support and I dropped them on to the floor as well once more grabbing the towel to dry his feet and legs. Marty stood there studying me like he’s done on a number of occasions while I continued to run the soft towel up along his legs. He flinched again when I ran them over his soft shriveled penis and tightly packed ball sack both of which had contracted slightly from the cold wetness. Running the towel between his legs the boy automatically shifted his weight and spread them apart slightly allowing me to dry him off down there. I noticed his penis begin to swell slightly realizing that it had recently gotten a bit bigger over the last several weeks with puberty catching up to him.
He even had a few small strands of pubic hair along the base of his slightly swollen tuber which I now ran the towel over to dry. If I kept this up he’d pop a full blown bone, so I stopped and turned him around knowing how he was about getting an erection in front of someone. He had gotten much better about not being so afraid in front of me and didn’t shy away about it when he popped one if it was just me, but at times I could tell he was still a bit self conscious about it.
With his back turned towards me I began to run the towel over the back of his head making sure his hair wasn’t so wet even though I had done it already just moments earlier. I then worked my way downwards over his back and down to his perky little rounded doughy muffins taking a seat on the edge of my bed. Even in the darkened room I could see how his butt cheeks were paler than the rest of his body. I suppose it was because they were covered up all the time even though I was sure the rest of his body also hadn’t gotten much sun since summer hadn’t arrived yet. I guess we were all a tad paler in our mid-rift all the time for some reason.
Even though the back of my head still pounded and I felt sluggish with everything remaining all hazy since this was a dream, it still felt very real as my eyes remained riveted on the silky smooth skin of his butt cheeks. I ran the towel over them lightly and then between his legs. The boy once more shifted spreading apart his legs slightly giving me more access and I accommodated him making sure I got him dried off all around down there as well. From behind and in my sitting position I could clearly see the bottom part of his scrotum sack which began to loosen up now that he was dry and warming up some. I was pretty much finished now, but my eyes remained riveted on his smooth rounded orbs the crescent moon like crease splitting them in half forming two perfectly matching halves.
My fingers shook as I ran them lightly over the smooth silkiness of his pale orbs feeling the boy flinching for a moment and gazing at me over his shoulders as if wondering what I was doing. He didn’t seem too bothered by it as my left hand ran along his soft skin while my right hand dipped down further between his legs. I’ve never really touched Marty like this before, but I was suddenly drawn to him. Since this was only a dream I didn’t need to worry about the promise I had made after the incident in the hospital where the two of us had an accidental orgasm together. It had frightened him, so afterwards I had promised not to do something like that again unless he was ready. This was only a dream though and realization set in that deep down I had been yearning all along to be a bit more intimate with him.
Without even really realizing it my right hand suddenly slipped between the boy’s legs from behind and I cupped his fleshy scrotum in the palm of my hand. They felt warm and soft now that he was inside and dried off as I rolled his testicles in my fingers for the very first time and lingered there for a few seconds before releasing them and reaching in even further. I heard the boy gasp and shiver when my hand wrapped around his extremely hard erection. It felt nice and warm as it twitched with his testicles contracting upwards from the sensuous groping. Somehow they felt slightly thicker and longer than the three and a half inches I had noticed on him not too long ago making me wonder if in my dreams he had matured even further into puberty. My eyes were riveted on his plump boy bag from behind and below as it brushed up against my wrist, also looking fuller than I recalled, while I got a good feel of Marty’s erection a thrill running through my insides.
For a dream this felt so real and I could feel my own erection beginning to pulse inside of my boxers making me wonder if this was how boys had wet dreams. I had heard how sometimes those types of dreams felt so real that a boy would suddenly orgasm in his sleep. I could tell if this dream continued on its current trajectory I’d have my very first wet dream and the idea didn’t trouble me at all, not since it would be from the wonderful thoughts and fantasies of me being with Marty.
My gaze shifted to his smooth sleek yet firm thighs before traveling over his beautiful rounded creamy butt cheeks. They looked inviting and I began to wonder what it would feel like to press my hips against them allowing my own erection to slide between the warm crevice. I shivered at the thought of the warmth engulfing my thickness while the hairs and skin of my pubic mound brushed against the silky smoothness of his perky orbs.
They looked smooth and inviting as something tickled at the edges of my thoughts. Something was out of place even for a dream. I struggled to work through the haze of my foggy state my hands stopping what they were doing. The boy was looking down at me over his shoulders and I could see the shock and confusion on his features. He was even blushing as if embarrassed by what I was doing and what he was allowing.
Even in my dream I knew something was wrong and a feeling of dread began to fill up inside of me as if I was waiting for this to shift into some sort of nightmare. I struggled to figure out what was bothering me when suddenly it struck me like a bolt of lightning and I flinched snatching my hand away from the boy.
“I…I…who…I’m so sorry.” I apologized to the boy who looked so much like Marty, but wasn’t as I began to detect slight differences to the boy who I had come to know so well. Even though this was only a dream I was still curious. “I…I’m so sorry,” I apologized lamely for the second time as I continued. “I…I thought you were Marty. Who…who are you?” I asked my head beginning to thunder again inside my skull while my stomach roiled around doing flip-flops and I began to feel sea sick like I wanted to throw up.”
The other boy stared at me for a long moment and then he seemed to recognize the look on my face and immediately sat down next to me wrapping his arm around my shoulder. “It…it’s alright.” I heard him whispering softly his voice sounding oddly familiar yet also very different.
It sounded like Marty’s had, at the very end when he finally spoke, yet somehow as if it was a younger version of him and stronger. I began to realize the boy now sitting next to me looked a lot like Marty, but different in so many subtle ways. Slightly younger maybe; although, I wasn’t really sure since the boy I knew looked a lot younger than his real age. Marty was going to be fourteen real soon, but he had looked like an eleven or twelve year old boy. The kid sitting next to me now also looked to be about eleven or twelve years old, yet also had younger features than what Marty had looked like. This was just too much even for a dream. It was too confusing as tears once more began to run down my cheeks. This was Marty sitting next to me, but a different Marty from the one I had come to know.
Still, even though this was a dream I had to let Marty know how much I missed him and how sorry I was about what happened. “Oh Marty, I miss you so much that I ache all over. I can’t stop crying or thinking about you. It’s my fault, all of it. I should have protected you; I promised to protect you and I failed. I broke my promise to you and I am so ashamed. Please forgive me Marty, please tell me you forgive me. I can’t live with myself, not like this. Everyone says it wasn’t my fault, but it was and I should have done something…anything. I’d do anything to make it right, but I can’t bear the thought if you don’t forgive me. Please Marty.” I begged softly as huge sobs once more wracked my body threatening to engulf my mind and thoughts once more.
The other boy held on to me tightly and I could smell the mixture of rain and his light airy scent clinging to his body. It was familiar yet also very different in many subtle ways. I’d recognize Marty anywhere just by the way he smelled, but the fragrance I inhaled now was confusing making me realize even in my dreams this had changed slightly as well. Everything about this boy in my dream screamed it was my friend Marty, yet so many things hinted at the slight differences. It frustrated me and in some ways even made me angry because it was like I was being taunted in my dream.
The boy’s voice shook when he finally spoke up. “I…I’m sorry…I mean…I’m not Marty.” He whispered with a hiccupping sob escaping from my lips because the dream kept taunting me.
The dream was so life like with even the pain and anguish feeling real, and it had me firmly in its grip so all I could do was see where it led me. “W…who are you?” I whispered, the younger boy rocking me in his arms as if trying to ease some of my pain.
It was strange because the boy was sitting next to me completely naked as he rocked me gently back and forth in his arms. My cheek was snuggled up on his chest with the top of my head in the crook of his neck while one arm was wrapped around his back and the other one around the front of his waist. I was gazing downwards my eyes looking directly at his egg sized scrotum sagging slightly between his thighs. His completely flaccid plump three inch penis was angling slightly towards the left just like it always did on Marty. Even in the semi-darkness of the room I could faintly make out the few small strands of his pubic hairs just around the base of his soft shaft. It was just as I recalled seeing Marty naked the last time, yet there were slight differences.
The boy’s soft voice brought me back as the blood drained from my face at his reply. “I…I’m…Jack’s brother…I…I mean Marty’s…,” he began with my grief overwhelming me because even in my dreams I was being taunted and not allowed to apologize or say good-bye to my friend.
It was all too much and I could feel the darkness once more engulfing my thoughts. I welcomed it, wanting to get as far away from this horrific dream. In many ways this was worse than the terrible ones I had endured for so long after my first kidnapping. This one was cruel because it played with my emotions where it involved someone who I had cared deeply about. I could hear myself groaning in pain as I grabbed my head trying to prevent it from exploding. The boy in my dream sounded worried trying to prevent the nice welcoming darkness to take me away, but it was too late and before I knew it I felt my body being shifted around as if I was being tucked into bed.
A few moments later there was also the familiar warm sensation of another body crawling in next to me, a reminder of what it felt like with Luke snuggling up with me this past week. I suppose it was just the latent memory of what it was like having my good friend holding and guarding me against the threat of awful dreams. Whatever the reason, I welcomed the sense of protection and allowed myself to once more drift into that time and space of dark comfort which always seemed short lived.
Of course the small little respite didn’t last with troubling dreams skirting on the edges of my thoughts. Throughout the week I had been drifting in and out of consciousness as I now began the slow climb out of my slumbering state trying to avoid the bad dreams that threatened to insinuate themselves into my thoughts again. I was lying on my side and it was still dark in my room when my eyes fluttered open to a dull ache inside my skull still refusing to go away making me wonder if it ever would.
The headache suddenly evaporated when I flinched and yelped in surprise with my heart seizing up inside my chest because lying on his side and facing me was Marty who stared intently into my eyes. “Are you real or is this just some horrible nightmare?” I managed to squeak out desperately trying to hang on to my sanity.
The boy’s eyes looked at me questioningly for a moment as I reached out with shaky fingers towards his cheek feeling warm flesh that was so real. “I’m real and you aren’t dreaming.” I heard the boy respond his voice sounding so familiar yet also slightly different.
“I…who…,” I began taking a deep breath brushing my fingers along his cheek just to be sure this was real and not some sadistic fantasy. “You’re not Marty?” I asked, my lips trembling so I bit my lower one to steady myself watching as the other boy shook his head.
“No, I just told you a couple of minutes ago before you sort of…um…fainted that I’m Jack’s brother.” He added making me frown.
“Who’s Jack?” I wondered gathering my composure and propping my head up on my right hand like he was doing but with his left hand so we were facing one another.
“Oh…um…sorry, I forgot. Marty.” He amended while I frowned confused by this turn of events still not understanding completely and also still not sure if I was still dreaming.
The other boy must have noticed my confusion so scrunched up his face in thought before speaking up again. “My name’s Tommy and Jack was my brother. Some people called him Marty. It was his nickname.” He tried to explain while I tried to digest the name still not understanding because how do you get a nickname of Marty out of Jack.
The two of us fell silent for a few seconds before Tommy thought he should explain things further. “It’s just something that sort of happened and began when he first started first grade. His teacher called everyone by their last name and ours happens to be Martinson. Well some of the kids in his class sort of shortened it and began calling him Marty. It sort of stuck with some of his friends at school, but at home he was always Jack to us.” He shrugged his shoulders with his explanation kind of making sense as the two of us falling silent again.
“You look a lot like him…you know.” I sighed when suddenly I realized something and I felt mortified. “Oh…oh shit…I…I’m so sorry. I didn’t know…I mean earlier. I thought you were Marty.” I tried to explain with the other boy blushing realizing I was referring to how I had dried him off and groped him when another thought occurred to me making me feel even worse about it. “I mean…not that the two of us have ever done that sort of thing…I mean…I’ve never touched him before…you know like that.” I tried to explain with Tommy’s cheeks flushing red reminding me again of how much he looked like his brother Marty.
It was a lame explanation and if I were in his shoes I wouldn’t believe it either. I mean, I had literally fondled the boy purposefully without even asking. I mean even if I thought he was Marty a guy still doesn’t do that sort of thing with someone he knows without asking unless the two of them had been already engaging in such behavior.
“It’s just…,” I began with tears once more flowing down my cheeks as I paused trying to figure out how to explain myself, but there really wasn’t any easy way to go about it so I took a deep breath and grimaced simply going for it the best way I could. “It’s just…I don’t know. I mean, it’s just I wanted to be close to him. You know to touch and feel him, to connect with him. It’s not as if we hadn’t seen each other naked or anything. In a lot of ways we were like brothers, but I also cared about him in other ways. It was different than us simply being brothers, but I never…um…the two of us…never…you know groped each other in that sort of way. I…I’m sorry. I’m not making much sense am I?” My voice quivered nervously.
It was then I began to realize this was for real and not some sadistic dream; although, I was mortified enough to wish it was one. The silence settled all around us and now it was my turn to blush because the other boy was scrutinizing me closely.
It made me nervous so I spoke up again. “I…I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have touched you like that, but honest, I thought it was all a dream. It’s been…awful since…since…the incident. Most of the times I can’t even focus and I’ve been walking around as if I was in some sort of dream.” I sighed closing my eyes and rolling on to my back staring up at the ceiling because my head was pounding again.
To my surprise I felt him snuggling up to me as he set his head on my chest and draped his right leg over my thigh with his knee rubbing up against my crotch. I could feel my little soldier puffing up slightly, but at least it didn’t become a complete erection. His right arm settled over my stomach as he leaned his weight into my side. Even his right hand rested lightly on my chest and I could feel the boy’s fingers twirling around nervously against my skin. It felt familiar, so much like Marty; even the way his boy parts snuggled up softly along my hip which also seemed to have puffed up slightly forcing me to squeeze my eyes to prevent them from watering up. What made it worse was how he smelled; just like Marty’s for the most part with only slight differences.
“It…it’s alright…I guess. I mean it sort of caught me by surprise and shocked me, but…,” He exhaled softly and I could feel him shaking his head. “I…I guess I didn’t mind so much…not really.” He admitted, his voice quivering nervously at the admission kind of catching me by surprise because for all practical purposes I was literally a complete stranger who had just fondled him.
Of course he had popped a stiffie when I fondled him, who wouldn’t, but still it was a bit odd. Not only that but he was also completely naked now and actually snuggling up to me which didn’t make any sense either no matter what the situation. He seemed to pick up on my confusion.
“It’s just Jack…I mean Marty…shit,” he cursed making me smile because it made him like the rest of us typical kids as he tried again this time using his brother’s nickname knowing it is what I knew him by. “It’s just that I know Marty really cared deeply for you. It wasn’t just because you found him, but because you also cared about him too. So yeah, I understand what you mean by how you felt about him because he felt the same way.” He tried to explain only baffling me more because how could he know something like this.
The other boy was acting as if he had actually heard Marty telling him this. I was gazing down into his eyes realizing they weren’t green like Marty’s, but brown. It helped me with keeping him separated from the boy I knew as my friend. Tommy was looking up into my eyes as well biting his lower lip when he saw my expression. He shifted his body upwards with his leg bumping into my nuts making me wince before he settled back down so we were level with one another and he could look eye to eye with me.
“There’s just no way to really explain it and believe me my parents had me seeing some lame county shrink about it until I got tired of it and never talked about it again, but here goes and I don’t care if you believe me or not, no one else did.” He added his features becoming somber once more reminding me of how Marty would get serious as well.
“Anyway, the day those people tried to take me, Jack…um…I mean Marty came to my rescue. He fought them tooth and nail and they were forced to let me go. I ended up getting thrown backwards into our wooden fence and landed on a metal spike. When my parents found me unconscious and impaled I was in real bad shape. When I got to the hospital and they began to operate on me they said I died three times on the table. It was then I saw Marty and visited with him. He was hurt and in very bad shape. We spoke together. I guess he was dreaming or something. Then I was pulled back and felt myself entering back into my body. After that I’d see him in my dreams from time to time. I’d talk to him and try to encourage him to be strong.” Tommy paused wiping away the tears from the corner of his eyes as we both fell silent and I let him gather his thoughts.
“It was awful to know what they were doing to him. I told my parents I spoke to Marty in my dreams, but they became worried over me. I mean after all I was just a little kid and had gone through something awful. After that I kept my dream visits with Marty to myself and tried to help him any way I could. Then one day he got away and I was so happy because I knew we’d be together again. When you found Marty he told me all about you and that is when suddenly our dream visits kind of stopped. I don’t know, maybe it was because he didn’t need me anymore. Whatever the reason, it simply stopped. I mean sometimes I’d still see him in my dreams, but we never talked. So when you tell me about the way you care about Marty I know what you mean because he felt the same way about you. In a way, I’ve known about you for a while now.” His voice suddenly petered out and he became silent waiting for me to laugh at him or something.
To my amazement it all made sense. Over the course of weeks Marty and I had talked together a lot and he told me about the other boy who spoke to him in his dreams. It sounded like Tommy actually could see him more clearly and knew who he was, but maybe that is because he had actually died on the operating table. The only explanation I could come up with is that since he had died he was perhaps more firmly connected to the other side. It sounded kind of crazy thinking it through in my mind, but I was past the point of not believing in some weird things considering what Marty had told me to begin with. Now that Tommy was claiming the same thing it all sort of clicked into place. After all I’m the only person Marty had told about the visits in his dreams.
“He…he told you about me didn’t he? I can see it in your face and can tell you believe me.” I heard Tommy getting excited bringing me back to the moment.
“I…I…um…yeah.” I exhaled shaking my head sadly at the memories of the several nights we had been cuddled up in bed together just like this as we talked for hours on end about so many things. Then something else popped into my mind as one more piece of the puzzle fell into place. “It was you.” I exclaimed with the other boy looking at me confused now just like I had been a few moments earlier. “Hold on for a second.” I asked as I climbed over him and out of my bed. “I’ll be right back.” I assured him quickly making my way into Marty’s room.
Stepping into the quiet room I felt a pang of guilt but shoved it off to the side making my way to his desk. I noticed the covers of the bed tossed off to the side and realized Tommy must have been sleeping in the bed before he went out onto the balcony. Opening up one of the drawers I found what I was looking for and slipped back into my room. I shut the door behind me and flipped on the light switch noticing the other boy was sitting on the edge of my bed with his feet dangling over the edge and the blanket over his privates.
“Oh…um…sorry I wasn’t thinking.” I hesitated a moment before heading over to my dresser drawer and rummaging through it.
A couple of seconds later I found a pair of shorts that would be too big for him, but they had an elastic band so at least they would stay up on his smaller frame. Turning around I tossed him the shorts and he smiled back appreciatively slipping his legs through the openings and sliding them upwards. He tossed aside the covers and lifted up his hips while I gawked totally mesmerized by his penis and scrotum sack. In the light I could tell he was slightly bigger down there than Marty had been, but not by a lot. It simply amazed me at how much the two boys looked alike.
I couldn’t help myself. “God, you look just like Marty down there.” I hissed with the other boy settling his butt back on to the mattress now that he was covered up and glance over towards me with a puzzled look on his face.
“Really, how so?” He asked with me suddenly realizing I had made the comment out loud which now made me blush because I’d have to explain it to him.
“He…um…I mean, you know his pecker and balls. They were about the same size as you down there. Even his build. The two of you are about the same height and weight and he even had a few pubes starting to grow in just like you.” I explained and blushed because it only indicated I must have studied Marty a lot closer than was typical between boys as I glanced worriedly towards the other boy for his reaction.
“Really?” Tommy responded seemingly not too upset about my admission. “That’s kind of weird I guess. I mean sure we are brothers so we would probably look alike in some ways, but he was close to two years older than me. I just turned twelve and he will be fourteen in a couple of months so I’d have thought he’d be taller than me and also…you know bigger down there and…um…you know…more pubes.” He whispered the last part looking around to make sure no one could hear which was typical for boys our age when we talked about such things.
“Yeah I guess, it’s why at first we thought he was like only eleven or twelve years old. I guess he didn’t get a lot to eat while he was…,” I left it hanging, the idea of what Marty had to endure for years making me shudder as the two of us suddenly got quiet.
I stood there for about a minute when I suddenly remembered why I had gotten up in the first place and sat back down next to Tommy our arms and legs touching. The boy looked over at me and blushed realizing this was kind of intimate. He was wearing a pair of shorts now and I was in my boxers, but the rest of our body was completely naked and his skin felt soft as it rubbed against mine.
“Um anyway…,” I began looking down at the contents in my hand. “Just before…,” I choked back a sob stealing myself for what needed to be done as I tried again. “Right before Marty died he told me something that didn’t make sense at the time, but does now after what you told me. He wanted me to tell you that he was sorry, but he couldn’t wait for you anymore and that he now understands.” I relayed a part of Marty’s last words with Tommy looking puzzled by the message. “It was different for Marty than it was for you. I mean the visits. He didn’t know who you were.” I tried to explain with Tommy furling his eyebrows still not understanding as I tried to clarify. “When you saw Marty in your dreams you actually saw him, but it was different for your brother. He only saw a misty apparition without any real features. All he knew was that you were a boy. Over the years he simply couldn’t even remember he had a brother. You have to understand without someone reinforcing his memories for all these years they just simply disappeared because he was still so young when he was taken.” I explained with the other boy nodding his head finally understanding.
“He also told me to give you this.” I held out Marty’s journal to the other boy who reached out looking at me questioningly. Shrugging my shoulders I sighed. “It’s his journal. The psychiatrist thought it would help with his memories and some of the other issues he had to deal with. I’m not sure what’s in it and I haven’t read it, but he wanted you to have it.” I whispered softly with Tommy running his fingers lightly over the cover and nodding his head. “I think it will help you understand him better.” I tried to explain.
We continued to talk into the night not worried about the time. He had to leave for home in the morning and they were catching an early flight so he could sleep then while I could sleep in since it would be Sunday. As we talked a lot of things began to make sense.
Evidently, when Marty had been snatched no one knew he was missing. His parents had found Tommy unconscious and impaled on a metal spike so had rushed him to the hospital. When they noticed he was sort of missing they thought at first he was probably hiding and afraid because of what had happened to Tommy. Then towards the end of the day when they couldn’t locate him they thought he was hiding in the surrounding woods and maybe afraid of being in trouble. The local authorities went out searching for him. It wasn’t until they talked to Tommy afterwards when he was recovered enough from his surgery that they realized he had been snatched and what had happened.
They lived in a small community and were kind of poor so a lot of things that should have been done hadn’t been done. Of course the local authorities had conducted an investigation and created a file for him and even input information into the national data base, but they were ill equipped and not trained in these sorts of things so vital information had been neglected. Things like Marty’s nickname in addition to no dental records or DNA collected. It was why it had taken so long to find Marty’s family.
At one point Tommy also thanked me for the song at the funeral saying his mother was touched by what I had done for Marty. It was then that I realized they were the ones who showed up right at the time I was up front singing Marty’s favorite song. I explained how Marty loved it and said it was something he remembered, but wasn’t sure how. Tommy then told me his mother used to sing it to them both when they went to bed at night and it would put them to sleep. It was another piece of the puzzle falling into place.
It was kind of sad talking about Marty with his little brother because the boy reminded me so much of my friend, but in some ways it was also therapeutic. A short while later I turned of the bedroom light and we had both crawled back under the covers snuggling up together continuing to chat and exchange information about the events surrounding Marty. As the time sifted through our fingers my mind continued to get more sluggish with my head pounding inside my skull and my body aching all over. Tommy had noticed and offered several times for us to get some shut eye, but I waved off his concern knowing he needed this just as much as I did so we continued for several hours until it simply became too much and we dozed off.
The prior evening had worn me out so much I had slept through most of the following morning and when I got up once more in my funky hazy state I found out the boy had slipped away. Pops had wanted to wake me but Tommy told him not to explaining what had happened overnight. Me sleeping so soundly had alarmed my grandfather and he immediately examined me from head to toe. I was in such a deep state of sleep I hadn’t even felt him examining me so closely. Tommy’s parents wanted to meet me, but my grandfather said it was unlikely I’d be waking up anytime soon. He explained to them how hard Marty’s death had affected me emotionally and that he was surprised I had lasted that long with Tommy overnight. On top of it all I had been beaten up pretty badly and was recovering from bruised ribs and a concussion. They understood and seemed satisfied with the promise that we’d all stay in touch and that he’d make sure they could meet me properly.
To my surprise, later on I found out that the Martinson’s had decided to leave Marty buried here by us. They couldn’t afford to have his body transported back and when my grandfather offered to pay for everything saying it was the right thing to do, they kindly declined saying they couldn’t accept that kind of money and were simply grateful to know in the end their son had found someone who cared about him. Of course the death had hit them hard too, but it was something they had gotten used to over the years with not knowing what had become of their oldest son. At least now they could move on with their lives even though there most assuredly was a hole left behind for them as well from this tragedy.
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End of Chapter Eighteen: A Time Of Grieving
Coming soon Chapter Eighteen: Doing Right By Cody
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