Discovering A Mute Boy
Chapter 09
Missed Opportunities & Regrets
WARNING: this story contains sexual content, and contact between young boys. If the subject matter offends you, is not to your tastes, or if you are under legal age for your area, then find something else to read. In the following story all names and events are completely fictional. Although I may mention specific locations, places, or persons any resemblance to said people, locations, or places is completely unintentional.
Feel free to email me at ([email protected]). I respond to all of my readers.
This work is copyrighted © by Hunter Woods. No part of this story may be transmitted or reproduced in whole or in part in any form including mechanical, electronic, photocopying, and recording or by any information storage and retrieval system without the express written consent of the author. For those of you who just blow this off and decide to steal anyway keep these thoughts below in mind:
“Intentionally using the quotes of others without author attribution is plagiarism and contributes to illiteracy.”
- Rain Bojangles
“Most plagiarists, like the drone, have neither taste to select, industry to acquire, nor skill to improve, but impudently pilfer the honey ready prepared, from the hive.”
- Walter Colton
“Borrowed thoughts, like borrowed money, only show the poverty of the borrower.”
- Lady Marguerite Blessington, Countess of Blessington
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EXCERPT FROM INNERMOST DEMONS
Just like everything else regarding Marty, I knew getting to the bottom of this would probably take some doing, but looking back I suppose we’ve already come a long ways with piecing things together. The two of us had something special, a sort of unspoken bond, and I’m sure somewhere along the line it will all come out, just like the way I had revealed my innermost demons to the other boy.
Snuggling further up under the covers, Marty shifted in his sleep, turning over so I spooned up tightly next to him allowing my head to settle in the crook of his neck. Inhaling deeply I could smell the sweet innocence of the boy’s essence, and it made me tremble and sniffle sadly. The thought of anyone hurting such an innocent little boy was heartbreaking and frightening. I instinctively wrapped my arms around the other boy protectively, and closed my eyes rapidly fading off to sleep. Even though the smaller boy was older than me, I slipped into a land filled with cheerful thoughts where Marty could play and simply be a happy little kid. To me he would always be a small fragile little boy who was sweet and special.
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MISSED OPPORTUNITIES & REGRETS
It was the steady muffled droning noise which finally captured my attention invading my slumbering state. Slowly my ears picked up on the muted sound trying to decipher the source when it sort of hit me that it was one of those floor cleaning machines. It wasn’t loud or anything so had to be coming from out in the hallway as I slowly opened my eyes a crack noticing it was light outside with the morning rays filtering in through the bedroom windows. Marty was lying on his side facing me his warm body pressed up against my side since I was lying on my back with his arm draped over my chest.
Slowly my eyes came into focus and I detected another figure sitting on the edge of our bed and realized it was Luke. He hadn’t noticed I was awake yet so I took a moment to size him up since I hadn’t seen him for about six months now. With him living here in Eelee, while I lived in the city a few hours drive from here, we only got to see each other when Pops and I came to the cabin.
Luke was sitting on the bed with his right leg curled up on top of the mattress while his left leg, which was draped over his right ankle, hung off the edge of the bed and I could tell he had grown and filled out some. He had a solid build, not like his father’s bulky look, but rather a more firm agile athletic physique. I suppose the solid part of his build he had inherited from his father and the more lithe part from his mother. When it came right down to it he had an average build for a boy his age, but in an athletic sort of way.
He had on a multicolored horizontal striped pullover with two buttons in front and a hood. The colors of the stripes ranged from white, charcoal, burgundy, and desert tan with shades of purplish redwood being the most prominent tone while only a subtle hint from a narrow band or two of sky blue horizontal splashes. He was wearing just the typical pair of jeans that seemed to fit him comfortably. They weren’t baggy, instead, hugging his thighs snuggly without them being too constrictive. The fit emphasized the small rounded bulge and outline of his penis, which I noticed he was currently fingering making my own rubbery peg twitch.
Blushing because I was now ogling my friend’s privates, I glanced up into his cute oval shaped face, which hadn’t changed at all since the last time I’ve seen him, and sighed in relief because he hadn’t noticed me sneaking a peek at his pre-adolescent tackle and jig. He appeared to be distracted and looked really cute as I followed his gaze and nearly jumped in surprise when I realized he was staring right at my erection which had created a huge tent just beneath the blanket. It was embarrassing how I had popped a stiffie with him staring right at it, and my mind began to race because I didn’t want to make this into an even more awkward situation by reacting to it.
Movement caught my attention and my eyes traveled automatically to the source realizing it was Luke adjusting his own erection. It was pressing up against his jeans forming a nice looking outline just above his tangerine sized rounded boy bulge. The plump shaped tube of his erection appeared to be about three or three and a half inches long. It was difficult to tell because of his jeans and the way he was sitting. It’s strange because over the years I’ve never really took much notice of what Luke had between his legs, but now the sexiness of the moment was enough for my own penis to twitch again. This time it was a bit more pronounced because I heard my eleven year old friend gasp and giggle with his hand suddenly clamping over his mouth because of the noise.
Knowing he would probably glance over at me to make sure he hadn’t woken me up, I immediately closed my eyes pretending to be asleep. I felt the bed shifting around a bit so decided it was time to shift as well because it was just too damn embarrassing having my little soldier standing up at attention for all the world to see. Damn, if he ever found out I was awake I’d never live down the humiliation so I turned on my side feeling Marty shifting because of my movement.
Inhaling deeply and pretending to wake up I slowly opened my eyes, yawned and stretched while remaining on my side so my boner wouldn’t show. Swiveling my head I looked into Luke’s soft green eyes and smiled. The younger boy blushed as if he had been caught doing something a tad naughty while I noticed he had shifted into a more comfortable position, which effectively hid his erection from anyone’s scrutiny. He was sitting with his legs crossed on the bed in Indian fashion and his arms folded across his lap. He smiled back at me and shook his head as if to clear the cobwebs out of his mind.
“Hey sleepy head.” He beamed at me in that infectious smile and way he had about him.
“Hey.” I offered back. “How long you been sitting there?” I asked casually.
“Not long.” He returned glancing over towards Marty who was also stirring awake.
“Hey kiddo…you sleep alright?” I asked Marty who smiled and nodded his head before glancing over towards Luke who was flashing him a huge grin. “Oh, Marty, remember yesterday Uncle Oliva said someone wanted to come visit? Well this is his son Luke and we’ve been friends…,” I scrunched up my face in thought. “Geeze,” I glanced towards Luke for confirmation before continuing, “I guess it’s been like what, five years? I mean three years as really like friends, but we’ve known each other for about five years now.” I prodded with Luke nodding his head in agreement thinking on it as well.
“Yeah, I was around six years old and you were like eight the first time we sort of met. After that we would see each other on and off here at the hospital for about two years before we actually began to hang out and play together.” He confirmed. “Anyway, it’s nice to meet you Marty.” The eleven year old dark haired boy offered up leaning forward and extending his hand.
Marty looked at the other boy’s hand and stared at it not knowing what to do. “Um…he’s kind of shy and new to meeting other people Luke.” I tried to explain reaching out and taking my friend’s extended hand in my own, giving it a small pleading squeeze with Luke glancing at me and smiling indicating he understood.
“Anyway,” Luke began and smiled at me excitedly because he was glad to see me. “Let’s all go to the cafeteria and get a bite to eat. I’m sure it’ll be a while before they come around for breakfast and I haven’t had anything to eat yet.” He offered with me about ready to agree when suddenly realizing I was still naked under the covers.
“I…um…yeah I’m hungry too,” I admitted, “but…,” I began with Luke jumping down from the bed and then pausing when he saw my clothes piled up on the floor.
Now that he was standing up I could tell he’d grown and inch or so since I last saw him. He was about the same height as Marty, around four foot ten inches, which was a tad shorter, but he certainly was way more solid in build weighing at least five or ten pounds heavier. I’ve never really paid much attention to these sorts of things before, but now as I studied Luke I had to admit I appreciated his athletically agile yet solidly built frame.
A grin spread over my friend’s face when he noticed my clothes on the floor, and I watched him reach down to adjust himself. It made my own penis twitch and balloon up yet again and I frowned because the damn thing kept doing this a lot lately around other boys. I suppose it’s always done that sort of thing and I usually noticed it when I was around girls, but this was beginning to become a nuisance, not to mention a bit worrisome since it was happening way more often than not around boys now lately too.
My penis twitched again because Luke pinched the tip of his knob before pressing his palm against the outline of his tube shifting it into a better position. I was pretty sure he wasn’t even aware of doing it since the action was fairly typical for guys in general when they needed to put things into a more comfortable position. He glanced up with his green eyes dancing inside his oval shaped face while his thin lips spread out even bigger into a straight grin which were upturned slightly at the ends. It was such a cute smile and I felt my heart suddenly skip because of it before it constricted and tightened into a knot when I realized he knew I was probably naked under the covers.
“Well?” He urged hopefully making me realize neither of us has ever seen the other one naked before and it appeared as if he was now curious about it.
“I…um…,” I sighed glancing over at Marty who yawned and stretched, his actions pulling the covers down slightly so they settled around my waist forcing me to pull them up more. “Listen Luke, why don’t you go down and bring something back for us. I mean, Pop’s gave me some ointment to put on Marty’s injuries and all. By the time you get back we’ll be all done.” I suggested.
“Oh,” he sighed looking slightly disappointed. “What’s wrong with him?” He asked casually and now curious about what the problem was with the boy he just met as his gaze shifted over towards Marty.
“Um, he’s kind of shy about it Luke.” I tried to explain not wanting to upset Marty by talking about the injuries from his abuse.
To my relief Luke appeared to catch on and didn’t seem too upset about being left out on it. I’m sure hanging around the hospital and visiting with some of the patients he’s gotten used to not being told sometimes why they were there.
Without missing a beat he switched the subject back to breakfast. “Alright, what do you guys want?” He asked shrugging away his disappointment at not getting to see me naked, which once more made me frown recalling an innocent conversation we had when we first met.
It had been a casual kind of incident and a long time ago. I was still pretty young and naïve about such things, but the memory of it sort of stuck because it happened the first time we really sort of hung out and played together. I first met him when I was about eight years old and he was six, but the first time we actually hung out and played together was a couple of years later when I was about ten years old. It happened when we were staying at the cabin, with Pops and Nana coming in to the hospital like they usually did when they were around. Of course they checked in on a regular basis even when we weren’t at the cabin, but when we were close by like this they always came over.
By this time it had simply become routine for me to join them and I didn’t really mind. Usually I always got dropped off in the game room so it was kind of fun to hang around with some of the other kids and play some games. Even though over the years I’ve seen Luke around, the age difference at the time had been too huge so we never really played together much. This time around though for some odd reason we began to play together and were having fun when a girl about my age came into the room and joined us.
We were all having a good time until a small argument over the game about some rule or such became an issue. It really wasn’t a big deal because as kids we tend to resolve such things in short order, but the younger boy emphatically stuck up for the older girl which to his horror prompted her to lean over and kiss him on the cheek. Of course at all of eight years old Luke immediately screwed up his face and declared in a high pitched tone the typical response of ‘oooh, yuk, cooties.’
He had immediately stood up and stomped away leaving me behind to stare at the girl a bit flabbergasted and feeling awkward about it. I was only ten years old so of course didn’t have the same feelings about the whole ‘cooties’ thing, but still I didn’t know how to behave around girls, and still don’t most of the times. Blushing, and not knowing what else to do, I had gotten up and chased after the younger boy catching up to him in the hallway. He was still trying to rub the kiss away on his cheek as he glanced over at me with his face all screwed up once more declaring how all girls had cooties and shouldn’t be kissing another boy. Besides, he preferred to get a kiss from boys since he was gay.
At the time I didn’t even catch on to what he had just admitted. I mean sure I sort of knew what ‘gay’ meant, but I was only ten years old and things regarding sex and all wasn’t really something I thought about. I only knew it meant he liked boys more than girls, which in my mind didn’t mean all that much because at ten years old my daily life revolved around my friends and they were all guys too.
It had come up a time or two after that as well, but still I never really thought much about it since I wasn’t even sure Luke understood what it meant either. I mean, what eight year old boy knows he’s gay? Hell for that matter what ten or eleven year old boy knows for sure? Not that he’s said anything about it for a couple of years, but for some reason the conversation we had a few years back sort of popped into my mind because of how disappointed he looked just now about not getting to see me naked. Sure, I suppose it was probably more curiosity than anything since even I began to wonder about such things when I was his age.
It was just the typical thing that happens to boys when they reach certain ages. Hell, I was curious about that sort of thing right now wondering what Luke may be packing between his legs. From all indications it looked as if he was pretty typical down there for a boy his age. I mean, at eleven most boys are still small down there, and from the bulge I had seen it looked like Luke was about the same size as Marty or Joey.
The memory of the younger boy’s bulge while he was sitting on the hospital bed made my penis twitch again bringing me back to the moment and realize he was still waiting for an answer. “Oh…um…,” I spoke up trying to get my composure back because I was gushing over my naughty thoughts.
“Well they’ve got those waffle irons down there with syrup, whipped cream, and fruit?” He suggested my stomach growling because that sounded great.
“Yeah, that’d be perfect with some crisp bacon and orange juice.” I added making Luke smile and nod his head in agreement. “Oh, Pops account card.” I remembered noting PopPop had taken his card back.
“Oh, don’t worry my dad gave me his card.” He shrugged not giving it a second thought.
We’ve done that sort of thing often enough between the two of us. One time I paid with Pop’s card and one time he paid. It wasn’t really a big deal and one of the perks at the hospital for their workers with the meals not costing so much for staff members.
After he left the room I crawled out from under the covers and hopped down from the bed bending over for my clothes. I had my usual morning wood with my adolescent boy sausage chubbed up nice and firm while my sagging balls banged against my thighs like a tennis match. Marty rolled over on his side and was watching me closely obviously captivated with my nakedness. It made me blush, but I ignored his gaze knowing he really didn’t understand how it was kind of an awkward sort of thing to do and slid into my sweats before slipping on my shirt and shoes. Giving my erection a quick squeeze and adjustment, I reached for the tube of ointment and had the other boy roll over on to his stomach. Stealing myself, I began applying the stuff all over the back of his thighs and butt cheeks. Seeing the striations and bruising still made me wince, but it wasn’t so bad anymore as I finished up with Marty rolling over on to his back.
When he rolled over his gown flapped open and I noticed he had popped a stiffie. He was so damn cute down there and I couldn’t help myself, cracking a smile while the boy blushed looking a little frightened about it and quickly covering himself up. In the brief exposure I noticed his usually tightly packed ping pong sized knap sack had loosened up a tad with it sagging down slightly this morning. I suppose being all snuggled up under the warm covers had softened it up some.
It was strange how he reacted in regards to his nudity. On the one hand he didn’t even respond in any way when he was standing naked in front of others; not even when Pop’s was giving him the exam yesterday and touching him down there. He had looked on curiously, but it was as if he was completely innocent about the whole process acting more like the way he would if someone touched him casually on the arm or whatever.
Of course he had been upset and even frightened about people seeing his bruises and abusive whip marks, but he didn’t appear to care if someone saw his soft penis and testicles. Yet, when he got an erection, like just now, his reaction changed again, but not in the way I would expect. I mean sure any boy popping a stiffie in front of someone would be embarrassed, but with Marty I could tell he was actually frightened about someone seeing him get an erection.
This type of reaction from him worried me so I thought maybe it was a good time to sort of bring it out. “You know there’s nothing wrong with your thingy getting hard like that sometimes.” I told the boy with him looking at me curiously. “Mine does the same thing and it is all part of growing up and going through puberty you know.” I added with him furling his eyes not only because of me talking about his penis getting hard but also because there was that strange word again which I seemed to bring up all the time.
“Besides, I really like how you look down there Marty…I mean…um…you know.” I blushed because even though he may not understand the implications of a guy admitting something like this, I sure did.
The smaller boy looked at me for a moment and then grinned sheepishly, which made me smile too because I’ve noticed he’s been doing that more lately. Then out of the blue and to my utter astonishment the kid flashed me. This was such an uncharacteristic reaction on his part that it caught me by complete surprise and showed me the kid did have a sense of humor about things. It had happened so fast only providing me with a quick glimpse, but I busted up laughing because I was beginning to appreciate how the boy was slowly coming out of his shell when he was around me.
“Damn, you’re such a tease, but I’m glad about the way you aren’t so uptight anymore.” I continued to laugh and shake my head while he gazed back at me and beamed.
Slowly my laughter died down as we stared at each other a bit shyly before his gaze traveled downwards. It stopped at the tenting in my sweats since my own boner hadn’t disappeared yet, as if it could with the way I’ve been getting an eyeful of boy cock already this early in the morning, reminding me how I would need to do something about it here real soon. I just about busted a gut again when he pointed to my chubbed up fatty and glanced up giving me that quirky kind of goofy grin while tilting his head to the side.
Sniggering, I nodded my head. “Yeah, I’ve noticed you like mine too.” I teased not able to contain myself anymore and began laughing again because this whole thing was really a bit weird, but not in a bad way.
It became even more bizarre when the smaller boy reached out and hooked his finger in the waist of my sweatpants. Without any hesitation he tugged on the hem pulling it away from my waist so he could get a better look. It was strange, but for some reason his interest about the way I looked down there didn’t even bother me and I let him get a good look at me while I watched his reaction. I suppose it was because deep down I knew for him this is basically what it was, an innocent kind of inquisitiveness. What surprised me though was without any hesitation he lifted up his own gown and was now looking back and forth almost as if comparing our two differences. I couldn’t help but gawk at the way he looked between his legs. Of course I got a good look last night, but now that it was brighter in the room I began to appreciate even more how he looked down there.
His penis was shorter and thinner than mine with a small sized scrotum sack, but I liked how it looked on him. I could tell by the way he screwed up his face when he studied our differences that what I had told him last night about his size and lack of pubic hair finally began to sink in. For the first time he was beginning to understand some of the nuances in the differences between boys and how maybe he should be further along down there as well. This didn’t seem to provide him with any satisfactory answers though, and he looked up at me even more confused than before, which made me feel bad about it now.
Sighing I shrugged my shoulders. “Listen Marty it’s alright. I already told you everyone is different with when and how they change down there. It’s all just the way puberty works and will happen for you soon enough, but don’t worry about it so much.” I offered up while his green orbs gazed back at me with a look of confusion because he didn’t understand this whole puberty thing.
Even for me puberty in some regards was all a mystery and baffling at times. Of course I understood the science aspects of it along with the gist of what it’s all about, but still it didn’t provide all the answers for boys going through this phase in their lives. There were just too many confusing emotions. For Marty though it had to be even worse because I’ve grown up with this whole puberty thing being a part of my every day life in some way. As a boy growing up we just know about it in general and learn more along the way. With Marty it was all new so it had to be really bewildering. I didn’t know how to make him feel any better about it all.
“Look, I tell you what.” I began as I pulled his hand away from the hem of my sweatpants tucking everything away. “When we are alone and can talk I’ll try to explain it all a bit better for you including what happened last night…you know…when the two of us…um…well anyway.” I swallowed the lump in my throat because what happened last night still had me a bit puzzled as well because I had really enjoyed it and wouldn’t mind doing it again. “Uh…yeah…I think maybe that will be the best thing to do. When we are alone I’ll talk to you some more about it. In the meantime maybe we should get you covered up before Luke comes back.” I suggested with Marty quickly covering himself up and getting a panicked look with his eyes bulging out in fright.
“Yeah, that’s another thing I should warn you about.” I added while I climbed up on the bed getting into a comfortable sitting position next to the smaller boy before continuing my train of thought. “I know you like looking at me down there, and I don’t mind you looking at me and all, but most people don’t understand it when a guy does that so maybe just don’t do that sort of thing when other people are around.” I suggested getting another one of those confused looks.
Exhaling softly I could tell he really didn’t understand. “You’ve got to trust me on this and not stare at guys down there. I’ll explain it to you some more when we talk about puberty, alright?” I asked with him looking at me as if to say he didn’t know what the big deal was before shrugging indicating he trusted what I was telling him.
Just then Luke came walking through the door with our breakfast. He was holding a tray with three separate Styrofoam containers along with some cartons of juice. Marty’s eyes bulged outwards when he saw the waffles with whipped cream piled on top along with fresh fruit. Pouring some syrup over the concoction for him the smaller boy dove in and gave us a big grin while Luke and I busted up laughing because he had a white mustache on his upper lip from the whip cream with a small pinch of it on the tip of his nose.
After having a good laugh at Marty’s expense we all dove in enjoying our meal while we chatted away. Of course it was me and Luke carrying on the conversation and I was glad my friend didn’t make a big issue over the other boy not talking. I suppose his dad may have warned him about it.
To my surprise Luke managed to eat his entire portion while Marty and I only managed about two thirds of it before we set aside our trays. “Geeze for real Luke where the hell do you put it all.” I sighed moaning and holding my stomach while the younger dark haired boy shrugged his shoulders.
“Well I’m a growing boy.” He retorted before leaning in conspiratorially. “But when mom can’t hear my dad teases me and says it all goes into my third leg.” He giggled with me busting a gut because it sounded typical of what his dad would hint at teasingly.
“Yeah, growing being the operative word here you know.” I teased after my good chuckle about his third leg swinging between his legs switching the focus back to his physical size. “After all you are still a small kid.” I added glancing at him slyly because I knew this was a hot button topic for him.
He was an only child, but had an extended family of uncles, aunts, and cousins all of which were older and bigger than him. Since he was the baby of the family, so to speak, all of his cousins would tease him about his small average kind of build because his dad was so big.
“Hey, I’m not some little runt you know.” He objected before pouncing on me, which set of an impromptu wrestling match with arms and legs flying everywhere, not to mention some very obvious groping on Luke’s part as he snatched at my boy bits teasingly.
Even Marty ended up in the fray with him at first panicking until he realized we were just goofing around. At that point it became a free for all, which then suddenly ended when Luke snatched at Marty latching on for a second to his goods before releasing him. It was all the typical kind of innocent boy play that happened from time to time, but Marty didn’t understand. Of course the effect was him popping a stiffie and panicking because of it. Even though I had told him this was something natural it obviously alarmed the smaller boy. He immediately jumped off the bed, his face having turned completely pale with fright, and keeping his hard penis hidden headed toward the safety of the bathroom.
Luke was now firmly trapped in my arms from behind with my legs wrapped around his thighs securing him in place as we both stared at Marty running towards the bathroom. With the smaller boy’s gown tied down slackly from the back it did very little to hide the ugly marks of abuse all along the back of the boy’s thighs and butt cheeks. Luke hissed in surprise his body stiffening up in my arms just as the door closed to the bathroom.
Glancing down at my friend I could see huge tears start to well up before they tumbled down the side of his cheeks. “Wh…what happened to him Latham? Who’d do such a thing to a kid?” He hiccupped with tears flowing down steadily now and me not having any good answers since I too had asked the question when I first saw the abuse.
My friend began to cry silently in my arms catching me by surprise. Over the years Luke’s seen a lot of things while visiting with other kids here in the hospital, but I suppose this was somehow different. This pain and suffering was inflicted on purpose, so in many ways made it even worse. It seemed to hit the younger boy really hard so I snuggled up holding him gently in my arms letting the emotions run its course. When Nana died he had been there for me putting his arm around my shoulder and sitting with me while I sat there during her funeral. Now it was my turn to comfort him.
“It’s alright Luke.” I whispered softly into his ear snuggling up my cheek against his warm soft damp face.
The heat of Luke’s soft body pressed up into my chest and stomach felt kind of comforting for me too as we cuddled up together and I breathed in his soft scent. I could tell he had taken a shower earlier this morning because he still smelled of soapy water. It was Easter today and I was pretty sure he was told to get cleaned up since his entire family would be getting together to celebrate later. Knowing his mom the way I did I’m sure she made him bathe before heading to the hospital because he probably wouldn’t have time for it later. Mixed in with the soft soapy perfume was also the typical kind of boy like scent which could never truly be masked. It reminded me of cookies and dirt making me chuckle silently feeling the smaller boy slowly relax in my embrace.
Holding him like this in my arms was nice and I could feel the cozy like tingling sensation spreading throughout my insides. It was the sort of comfortable like feeling of being all wrapped up in a nice soft blanket and sitting in front of a fire while a wind storm blustered just outside of your cozy house. This was actually the first time the two of us have ever cuddled up together and I had to admit I was enjoying being connected to the younger boy in this kind of way.
“This is nice.” I heard him whisper softly glancing towards me to gauge my reaction, but his words only managed to echo my own thoughts.
Nodding my head in agreement I felt our face rubbing together softly. “Yeah,” I affirmed quietly feeling him relax even more at my admission.
He craned his neck looking into my eyes for a moment as if to really judge my response before settling his head back on the pillow allowing me to press my face against his and relax enjoying the gentle moment. “I wish we could do this all the time.” He added nervously with me scrunching up my face wondering what he meant exactly, but deep down feeling the same sentiment in some ways.
I don’t know what got into me, but I exhaled softly and turned my head slightly kissing his cheek softly. “Me too, I guess.”
He was about to say something when we heard the water turning on in the bathroom sink so instead he began to unwind from me. I guess he figured Marty was probably finishing up and would be coming back out. Two boys all snuggled up together like this would kind of look weird and the way things were in our society no boy wanted to get caught in this kind of situation, even if it was an innocent kind of thing.
“Don’t,” I spoke up with him stopping and craning his neck again to look at me questioningly. “I mean, you don’t have to worry just yet because he won’t be out for another five or ten minutes, trust me.” I added seeing his confused look, but he trusted me so settled back down.
The two of us lying on the bed together all cozy seemed kind of right at the moment and it made me feel good having him all wrapped up in my arms. The two of us fell silent not needing to say anything, and not thinking anything of it. I slowly began to rub his chest and stomach hearing him sigh in contentment and close his eyes enjoying my tender administrations. A warm fuzzy kind of feeling sent shivers all throughout my insides at the close contact between the two of us. It was a strange kind of feeling, similar to how I felt all cuddled up with Marty, yet also somehow a bit different. In a way there was the undertone of something sexual about the way Luke smelled and felt all wrapped up in my arms. I tried to shake away the feeling, but it remained there in the back of my thoughts.
We cuddled together for a couple of minutes and I was enjoying the feeling of closeness. Then I felt him reach up and place his hand over on the top of mine guiding it downwards between his legs making me gasp in surprise for a second and swallow a lump in my throat. I’ve never touched anyone intimately like this before, well at least not with a willing party who was awake. Marty was the first person I’ve ever really touched, but that was while he was asleep and it had sort of been unintended on my part with me not totally aware of it because I was jacking off at the time and in a different frame of mind. Then of course there was the two of us rubbing our hard dicks together, but that had been unintended as well.
“H-holy crap,” I managed to croak out in a hushed tone with a thrill running through me.
The smaller boy trembled in my arms with a mixture of excitement and trepidation. Luke’s always been kind of outgoing and bold, but it had to be a bit scary for him just because this sort of thing left him exposed. Even I hesitated, conflicted about this turn of events, because I’ve never done anything like this before and it made me nervous. I liked Luke a lot and we were friends, but he was still younger than me and this was about sex. It only managed to fuel my confusion about the way I’ve been feeling lately not to mention I wasn’t even sure how much he knew about sex.
I was only ten years old the first time I had an orgasm, but it had happened by mistake while lying in bed one evening and idly fiddling around with my small hard pecker. Suddenly a tingling sensation had ripped through my insides with it feeling like I was going to wet myself. It had been too late to stop with the confusing deed simply happening. When I found out I hadn’t wet the bed I was relieved since I was still having accidents back then. Thinking I had almost wet the bed frightened me enough not try again until about six or seven months later, just about the age Luke was now. I overheard friends talking about jacking off so figured out this is what had occurred so tried it again. It felt great so after that, like any typical boy, I was hooked. Even though I began jerking off when I was eleven I wasn’t sure if Luke was sexually engaged this way yet or not.
It’s also one thing to mess around with friends your own age, but this felt a bit strange because I remembered what it was like for me a couple of years ago. I was young and inexperienced about a lot of things back then, besides; I’ve never even messed around with any of my friends so right now this was new territory and a first for me as well. I had a girlfriend of sorts, but even with her I’ve never been able to get too far other than a bit of necking. This was different though because it was with another boy, but I was a horny teenager and for whatever reason had suddenly become curious about my younger friend for the first time since we’ve met. I was compelled to find out what he had going on down between his legs. So without another thought my fingers curled over the top of his tangerine shaped bulge squeezing lightly on his undercarriage allowing the heel of my palm to press up against his hard cylinder. I felt it twitch with the smaller boy gasping and his body reflexively stiffening up from the extra stimulation.
With his jeans on, it was kind of difficult to gauge size, but between his rounded bulge and plump erection it filled up my cupped palm easily as I now began to apply pressure while constricting my fingers around his fruit basket. Luke moaned from the friction and pressure being applied downwards along the length of his rubbery tuber. Exhaling softly enjoying the moment, his eyes fluttered closed and he shifted rolling more on his back with his legs spreading apart slightly allowing me more access. My curled fingers constricted ever so slightly around his bulging tangerine while the heel of my hand applied pressure and drew downwards from the tip of his penis towards the root.
“Oh…uuuuhngh,” I heard him gasp his body quivering in pleasure.
Since he was enjoying it I started the process again with me trying to find where the tip of his knob actually began. This had become wickedly awesome and I couldn’t resist the urge to take a look. Shifting my gaze downwards I gawked at the plump prepubescent outline of the eleven year old boy’s penis pressing against the fabric of his jeans. Below that was his rounded bulge about the size of a kiwi. I could even detect the two smaller oval shaped lumps of his testicles, which were about the size of cherries.
Shifting my focus back on the task at hand I felt a soft spot which at first I thought was where his penis began until I dragged the heel of my hand down a little further and bumped into a firmer area which had to be the head of his acorn sized helmet. I immediately applied more pressure and slowly began to masturbate the boy through his jeans by pressing the heel of my hand along the hard outline of his stalk. Even though I couldn’t really gauge his true size his erection felt fairly typical for a boy his age. I got the sense that it was about the same size mine was around his age, maybe even more portly. Mine had been thin back then and didn’t actually plump up until puberty set in.
Glancing back up, I smiled at the euphoric expression on Luke’s face. His eyes fluttered open and locked on to mine with his mouth hanging open slackly but still smiling in a dazed kind of way. The boy was breathing heavily completely enthralled with the bracing feelings. I knew from personal experience all the sensations which were now tingling all up and down his body.
His eyes were like mine, green, and since we’d get into some mischief at times the staff began referring to us teasingly as the hospital’s two green eyed scalawags. It’s sort of a rare thing I suppose to see two friends hanging around with green eyes and it just now dawned on me how Marty’s were green too, which was really weird when I thought about it. What were the odds of three green eyed boys hanging around together in one place?
The smaller boy moaned in my arms while I once more began applying pressure all along the length of his portly tuber. Gazing down into his cute face I really studied it closely for the very first time. It was a perfectly balanced oval shaped face with his chin area narrower than his forehead. He always seemed to keep his shades of black sweet cola colored soft hair cut short with it clipped clean up around his slightly protruding rounded ears and cropped in the back. The front was slightly longer, not a whole lot, but enough so the soft curly wavy layers of his hair hung about an inch over the front of his forehead. It was a style which I thought suited his soft features. My gaze shifted slightly taking in his dark soft narrow eyebrows that angled upwards above his tapered half mooned shaped green eyes, which in my opinion only accentuated the eloquence of his sprightly gaze.
At first glance the soft muted green hues of his eyes with undertones of soft blues and grays were a bit deceiving lulling me into a sense of calm and tranquility drawing me in further. To my surprise I discovered he had golden brown glittery like flakes surrounding his dark pupils. It was this now which made me realize just how expressively gripping and animated those piercing orbs were on him as if hiding the innate intelligence of the younger boy who I knew had a bit of roguish playfulness behind his soft demeanor. His straight smile, which always came easily to him, made me grin now as well. It was an open broad smile with a slight upward curvature on the ends of his pinkish red narrow lips. Now that he was flashing me that goofy smile of his I could clearly see his slightly crooked bright white teeth glittering between his thin lips. They were only slightly crooked and didn’t distract in any way.
My eyes were flittering from one feature to another now that I was able to actually study him closely and I noticed a couple of cute pinhead sized like moles or freckles on his face. The most noticeable one, which I thought was so cute, was just above his upper left lip as I now focused on a scar across the bridge of his nose right behind where his nostril flared out slightly. He had told me once that he got it from a lacrosse stick during one of his team’s matches with a rival and it had bled and hurt like hell. I spotted another scar that I hadn’t seen before on the left side of his nose up higher next to his left eye. Those were the only marring scar I could spot on his otherwise unblemished features.
Our eyes locked on to one another once more and I could feel Luke begin to squirm around with me applying pressure for the fourth time along the length of his rigid rubbery peg. Our faces were only inches apart and I could feel his hot breath brushing up against my lips, the urge to lean down and kiss him making me sweat. I began wondering what it would feel like to kiss him when his eyes suddenly flared open in surprise and his breathe caught in his chest.
The boy gasped with his body stiffening up for a split second before shuddering in my arms. I could feel the heat of his rubbery tubular erection when it twitched against the pressure of my palm and his undercarriage contracted just beneath my curled fingers. It was kind of wicked watching this entire event unfold in front of my eyes, but it lasted only two or three seconds before he slumped back into the mattress with his body becoming totally relaxed. He looked really cute with a peaceful pleased look on his features and beads of sweat having formed on his brow.
For a second I wasn’t sure if he had an orgasm or not because it had been such a subdued kind of event, but I felt his hard bulge just beneath my palm softening up inside of his jeans making me think perhaps he did. It was strange though because even though there were tell tale signs of an orgasm there was something almost calm like about the event without the typical obvious indications of a boy in the throes of an orgasm. If anything it had been kind of serene in the way he had climaxed in my arms with the entire incident lasting all of ten seconds from start to finish. I almost busted up laughing, but somehow managed to contain myself because I didn’t want this to be an embarrassing moment for Luke. It’s just that other than the calmness in the way it had played out, since I tended to be a bit more boisterous about my orgasms, it sort of reminded me of how quickly I tended to climax when I masturbated.
“Th-that was incredible…,” he moaned softly. “I’ve never…I didn’t know it would feel…I’ve always wanted to…,” he whispered gulping air and bouncing from one thought to another not able to focus while I screwed up my face because it sort of sounded like this was a first experience for him too, but maybe on several other levels.
He closed his eyes as if savoring the moment and the two of us fell into our own silent thoughts. To actually do something like this with someone was wickedly awesome even though I wasn’t the one busting a nut, and what’s more I had enjoyed doing it for Luke. It’s this that made me start to panic, the idea of how I had actually enjoyed touching another boy. Even though Luke had told me a while back he was gay, I wasn’t sure he really was because he’s still so young. Still, I admired his outgoing and bold nature. What he had just done was brave on his part because an act like this left him vulnerable.
Then there was another thought, what if he wanted to return the favor. The idea was appealing and my erection twitched at the prospect of someone actually touching me in a sexual way down there. Deep down I understood that boys sometimes fooled around like this and it didn’t mean anything one way or the other, but I wasn’t sure if I was ready to confront something like this right now. I was too confused about my own emotions and the way I was starting to react towards other boys, but I wasn’t sure if presented with the opportunity that I wouldn’t allow it to happen either.
The dark haired boy began to stir in my arms and when I looked down he was smiling affectionately at me. I knew what he was thinking and I began to panic because I wasn’t ready, not yet so didn’t know what to do. On the one hand I wanted him to do some sex things with me, but on the other hand I was terrified what this may mean for me. I felt his hand reaching out towards me and brush along my arms with my mind exploding in alarm because I wanted this, but was terrified about it at the same time. Then suddenly the situation changed because Marty stepped out of the bathroom. I took this moment to make my escape from the awkward situation and squirmed off the bed. Trying to hide the tenting in my sweats, I quickly bolted for the bathroom gliding past the long haired boy and closing the door behind me.
Once in the safety of the bathroom a sense of relief washed over me with my whole body trembling. Exhaling I made my way over to the sink and turned it on taking a look in the mirror at my own face. I’ve noticed that lately my features were starting to change. The face was still the same, but I was starting to get that more chiseled mature look most kids my age start to transition into. I still had that boyish kind of soft look, but just beneath the surface a more rugged kind of appearance was beginning to take shape transitioning into a typical kind of teenaged maturity.
Looking at myself I now began to feel that twinge of regret. I was older than Luke, yet he was the brave one venturing out of his comfort zone. I don’t know why I had suddenly become such a chicken shit about it. This definitely was something I wouldn’t have minded happening to me. I mean, even though it wasn’t openly discussed I knew plenty of my other friends had fooled around with each other before. I’m not sure how many of them are still kind of doing that sort of thing. I mean, some have girlfriends now too or have dated with plenty of them bragging about their conquests. Of course ninety nine percent of it was probably bullshit, but still, I was sure some of my friends still probably messed around together so they could get their rocks off.
Exhaling softly, I shook my head, “shit-shit-shit…next time.” I whispered in a hushed vow thinking that I shouldn’t be so afraid about it.
Why couldn’t I be more like Luke and just go for it? This had been one of many missed opportunities in my life lately that I was regretting, and in the silence of my thoughts I vowed if I ever got a chance with him again, or someone else for that matter, I wouldn’t be such a pussy about it and actually go for it. What’s the worse that could happen other than rejection? If I actually got rejected so what in my opinion.
Of course Marty had walked out of the bathroom just now and would have interrupted us anyway, but still, it doesn’t deflect from the issue of how I had become a chicken shit about it. Even what happened the previous evening with Marty didn’t prove anything since it had been unavoidable. Last night was not something I had actively pursued or anticipated to have happened, but rather the wondrous event unfolding unexpectedly, and in a way neither one of us had intended with it coming to a conclusion within seconds. I was pretty sure I would have chickened out last night too had it gone down differently with me actually having a conscious choice on the matter. Gritting my teeth I never wanted to feel bad about a missed opportunity like this again and vowed to never let one pass me by.
There were voices now in the other room and I knew one of the nurses had probably come into the room. She was saying something about my grandfather wanting to see Marty. There didn’t appear to be any issues going on concerning the discussion, so I figured it had been resolved or else there would have been some commotion going on.
Glancing towards the shower I was tempted to hop in and get cleaned up. It was Easter after all and I didn’t want to take one when we got back to the cabin. I know PopPop was planning on getting a small turkey with some of the trimmings and cook it in the large Dutch oven. On Easter we always built a huge fire outside of the cabin and buried the Dutch oven with the Turkey and trimmings in the coals. While most everyone else stayed at home using a stove and oven to fix their turkey dinner, we managed just fine by using a Dutch oven.
My balls were aching from the recent sexual encounter with Luke. Even though he was the one who benefited from the experience it had been no less sexually arousing for me as well. I could tell I had leaked some pre-cum while I had masturbated Luke because I felt a little wet slickness inside of my sweats now. Coming to a decision I stripped out of my clothes, started up the water adjusting the heat, and hopped inside. I quickly lathered up my hair rinsing it out before soaping up my body and pausing at my extremely sensitive thick adolescent boy erection. My fingers wrapped around my sensitive mushroom shaped knob and I began to do what came naturally to a boy my age. I could feel the tingling surge immediately building inside of me as my fingers slid over the length of my fat sausage. Without warning my balls knotted up between my legs contracting with my erection twitching and jolting just before a large string of whitish clear goop came spitting out the tip of my pee slit to splatter forcefully against the sterile white tiles of the shower stall.
“Fuck,” I gasped with my body tightening up and my toes curling. “Aaaargh, uuumph, uuumph, uuuuumph,” I groaned as the intense climax ripped through my body and another string of cum came flying out from the tip of my tuber to splatter along the tiles next to the previous batch.
My body contracted several more times, but I was pretty much spent so after the first initial two volleys of milky boy splatter I simply oozed with some of it getting on the back of my pumping fist. From start to finish just like with Luke, it had taken all of ten seconds. I finally shuddered one last time and grunted feeling completely spent, yet totally rejuvenated in a way that can only happen for a young boy in the prime of his masturbatory capabilities. It didn’t take long for me to recuperate and finish up inside the bathroom before I finally stepped out feeling much better and looking around with Luke flashing me a really goofy smile.
“Where’s Marty?” I asked panic rising up inside of me when I noticed he wasn’t around.
The dark haired boy shrugged casually as if it wasn’t a big deal. “Oh, one of the nurses said PopPop wanted to talk to him.”
“So he just left…um…without a fuss?” I asked a bit surprised.
“Sure, why not. He didn’t seem to mind.” He responded with me scrunching my face, but then shrugging my shoulders relieved that Marty was alright. “Feeling better after your shower?” Luke sniggered giving me a sideways glance making me frown again wondering what he was up to.
Knowing the boy the way I did I knew he had something up his sleeve. At times he could be a bit wicked in a playful way and it would get us into some innocent trouble. He was the one who had tricked me into that Polar Bear dip a couple of years ago and nearly laughed his ass off when I panicked about the way my balls had disappeared inside my body cavity. Of course I had been careful about keeping it hidden from sight, but he still had heard me whining about it to Pops. He was always up to something so it often made me a bit suspicious when he got that way.
“Um…yeah…that did the trick.” I replied cautiously with his impish smile spreading upwards making him look a bit goofy in that cute way he has about him.
“I’d say. It sure sounded like it. Maybe next time I can help you out with your…um…you know…special needs.” He quipped with my eyes bugging out.
The blood drained from my face because I’d forgotten that sound carried through the bathroom door and it was obvious he must have heard me jacking off during my shower. It was completely mortifying. We all did it, but no boy ever admitted to such things because it was kind of a private type of thing to do.
“What…no…I…uh…no…,” I snapped back defensively trying to deny any such behavior and noticed his expression change from amusement to almost crestfallen.
It was obvious he mistook my response and that I had hurt his feelings. I mean he had just sort of put himself out there into a vulnerable situation by encouraging me to masturbate him, and now it almost came out as me rejecting him and saying no. It was obvious he had a sort of crush on me, which was another thing I didn’t know how to handle right now because this sort of thing has never happened to me before. Sure my girlfriend liked me, but I wasn’t exactly sure what our real relationship was supposed to be. This whole girlfriend and boyfriend thing was all new territory, but Luke was like one of my best friends and we’ve been through a lot together. So seeing this side of him was a bit overwhelming to say the least.
“Luke, it’s not what you…,” I began to apologize when our door opened up and a nurse came inside interrupting us.
“Latham, I just dropped of Marty and your grandfather says as soon as you are done to come over because everything’s been squared away.” The nurse smiled sweetly at me before continuing. “I think they got everything worked out with the social workers regarding Marty so I’m sure he’s wanting to get going since it is Easter after all.” She pointed out.
“Thanks nurse Jennings.” Luke tried to smile pleasantly, but I could tell he was upset. “We were just heading over.” He added sliding past the nurse and out the door.
It took me a second to realize he had left me just standing there without any warning, and by the time it sunk in he was halfway down the hall already. Excusing myself as well from nurse Jennings I immediately took off after him. By the time I caught up he was already waiting by the elevator.
Glancing over towards him I could tell he was upset and trying to keep his composure and my stomach was all tied up in a knot because I felt bad about the way things had come out after my shower. We both stood side by side a bit awkwardly. I mean it wasn’t like I had rejected him even though it may have come off that way. It was just that he had caught me off guard. It had started with him shoving my hand between his legs encouraging me to grope and masturbate him, then afterwards finding out he had heard me getting off and blowing my nut in the shower. It had been humiliating to say the least so of course I hadn’t handled it well at all.
Still, I now felt awful about everything and I wanted so badly to take it all back, but I couldn’t. I didn’t know what to do when the elevator chimed indicating it had arrived. My whole insides was writhing around with regret and just as the elevator door began to open I suddenly reached out, grabbed Luke by the wrist, and yanked him towards the door leading to the stairs. The move caught him by surprise for a second, but before he could protest I shoved open the door and pulled him with me into the empty stairwell.
“Listen Luke…,” I began, but he immediately interjected venting his frustration.
“I get it. Don’t worry I won’t say anything about what happened.” He cut in curtly with me trying to get a word in edge wise.
“But…,” I began getting interrupted again.
“I mean, it’s just I thought you were different. It’s not easy you know…to let someone know about…you know…being gay and all. You’re the only one I’ve ever told. I mean I really thought you were different, but I get it.” He snapped at me a bit defensively.
“No, Luke it isn’t…,” I began again confused by the whole event because even though he had mentioned it a time or two I still wasn’t sure if he actually was gay, but he wasn’t letting me get a word in edge wise which was kind of frustrating.
“If you don’t want to hang around anymore because of it, then that’s perfectly fine.” He added in a hurt tone.
“Stop it.” I huffed totally flustered. “Just give it a rest already.” I barked at him tossing my hands up in the air in total exasperation with the younger boy taking a step back in shock and both of us falling into silence now.
Taking a deep breath to calm myself I glanced towards my friend who was staring anywhere but at me, his expression indicating he was still upset and disappointed. “Geeze for real Luke,” I spoke softly taking a seat on the stairs leading up to the next level simply confused on so many levels and falling silent for a moment trying to gather my thoughts, but they remained all jumbled up.
“It’s not you Luke. I mean, hell do you know how embarrassing it is for a friend of mine to hear me…um…you know…getting off while I’m taking a shower.” I added taking the moment to look over the railing and down the stair landings to make sure no one was listening.
Luke seemed to finally take notice and shifted his gaze towards me his face screwing up in thought while I tried again with my explanation. “Shit, of course all guys know everyone else does that sort of thing, but still, you know how it is?” I sighed shaking my head because even now it was embarrassing to talk about it with him as I glanced towards my friend to gauge his reaction.
His expression isn’t what I expected because he was staring back at me with his cheeks blushing several shades of red now from my latest comment. For some reason his comments right after I had felt him up sort of came flittering back to mind. Between me saying most of us know we all do that sort of thing, combined with his near admission while he was recuperating from what I think was an orgasm for him, made me wonder if he actually did jack off yet or not. It wouldn’t be so unusual for him not to have started that sort of activity yet since he was still only eleven years old. At eleven, even though I had begun to jack off, I was still naïve about it back then.
Of course he was like one of my best friends and all so we’ve talked about a lot of things including sex in general, but never anything specific like one of us jacking off or anything. Even though we were close friends he was still two years younger than me so most of the times we just weren’t on the same page when it came to sex. Now, at eleven years old he was just beginning to get those strange thoughts about sex which all boys go through. If those included thoughts of boys so what, it didn’t make him gay or anything. At least not yet in my opinion, and if it turned out he was gay I don’t think it would matter one way or the other to me. All I knew is that he had been there for me when I was having a hard time when Nana died.
His expression seemed to soften up now as if he realized this hadn’t been about me rejecting him, and I suppose it set me at ease as well because I suddenly blurted out something I hadn’t even intended to bring up. “Are you really gay?”
“What…I…uh…of course I am. I’ve told you that before.” He interjected defensively and looking at me more cautiously again wondering if maybe I was upset about it.
“Well yeah, I mean when you were all of eight years old. Fuck Luke, what eight year old boy knows he’s gay. Hell, I was like ten at the time myself and I didn’t even know exactly what it meant. I mean, sure I knew in general what it meant, but not really in the big picture of things. I didn’t even think much of it at the time.” I retorted shaking my head with both of us falling into our own thoughts before he sighed and took a seat next to me mumbling.
“Well, we’ve sort of talked about it since then.” He offered up with me scrunching my face because I really didn’t recall any discussions of substance in that regard.
“Um…no…not really? I mean, maybe it was brought up in general, but nothing specific and not for a while now. Hell Luke, at that age we all think girls have cooties, but it doesn’t make us gay or anything.” I added letting him know I didn’t think much of his claim since he had been so young at the time.
“Yeah but…,” He started with his voice petering out and falling quiet.
“What?” I asked pressing him to talk because I didn’t want us to leave feeling bad about things.
“It’s just not about the whole cooties thing when I was eight. It’s the way I feel about things now. I mean I’ve always sort of had a thing…um…I mean…I’ve always sort of had…you know…feelings towards you and all, but lately, they seem…I don’t know, maybe like it is more. Not only that, but lately I’ve been thinking about other boys in general…you know…like in sex and all.” He admitted glancing at me and then blushing because this had become very personal and left him extremely exposed. “It’s just so confusing.” He added shrugging his shoulders.
“Yeah, well welcome to the club.” I sighed wrapping my arm around his shoulders. “Luke you’re like my best friend and I don’t care if you are gay or not. It’s just I don’t think an eight year old kid or an eleven year old one really knows for sure.” I tried to ease his mind about it letting him know if this really is who he was it wouldn’t matter to me.
The smaller boy nodded his head and seemed relieved that him being gay didn’t matter to me with the two of us getting quiet again struggling with our own thoughts. “What exactly do you mean by ‘welcome to the club’? I mean, why would you even say something like that to me?” He wondered out loud.
Rubbing my face with the palms of my hands I groaned quietly shaking my head. This was a discussion I hadn’t intended because it was getting very personal for both of us. Even if we were close friends, he was still only eleven years old and I wasn’t sure how appropriate some things were to bring up to him. Not to mention sometimes things were just too personal, but in some ways I almost felt as if he was owed an explanation since he had trusted me with his personal feelings. He’s never confided to anyone else, not even his own family, but had trusted me with his secret about how he may be gay. Even at eight years old he had known it wasn’t acceptable to come out and say you were gay.
Glancing towards Luke his expression was neutral and he waited patiently for me to respond. His gaze shifted away as if giving me some space to take my time with an answer. He was just so damn cute I felt the urge to lean over and kiss him, which only managed to confuse me even more. My eyes took all of him in and I couldn’t help the lustful urges; especially, when my eyes settled on the eleven year old boy’s small bulge. It’s strange, but I’ve never looked at him like this before and yes, he’s grown a bit taller and had filled out a bit more, but there was something else going on as well. It was as if he’s matured more since I’ve last seen him. He was still a little boy, but now it was like he was a sexual being as well. It allowed me to see him differently, in a more sexual kind of context.
Shaking my head I suppose there wasn’t any harm in letting him know about some of my own struggles with my emotions lately. “Listen Luke, we all get those kinds of feelings. You know…doing stuff with other boys. Lately it’s like I’ve been getting these thoughts way more often.” I admitted to him watching his reaction closely.
His thin lips pursed in thought with his dark eyebrows bunching together. “Really, but I thought you have a girlfriend. Do the two of you…uh…what I mean is, well are you saying girls don’t turn you on?” He wondered out loud.
“What?” I asked a bit loudly and taken aback, but quickly calming down not wanting him to mistake my reaction. “Um…no…I mean yes. Shit.” I cussed seeing Luke’s amused expression with his lips spreading wide and curling upwards at the ends into a quirky smile which was just too damn cute.
“Well, which is it?” He asked making me roll my eyes.
“Fuck Luke, you can be a little prick at times.” I chuckled in a friendly tone hearing him giggle as well because I’ve told him this on a number of occasions. “Well the answer is…duh…you moron. Of course girls turn me on, but it’s just lately I’ve sort of had thoughts about guys too. You know in my dreams and sometimes…,” I left it hanging and blushed because the second part was kind of embarrassing to admit.
Luke stared at me waiting for me to finish and I knew he wasn’t going to let it go. “Um…well you know, sometimes when I…when…,” I couldn’t say it out loud so simply balled up my fist and gave the universal jacking off sign.
“Oh…you mean when you…,” he left it hanging as well also blushing with his mouth giving me that big ‘oh’ expression before he got that wicked smile again.
“What?” I asked a bit cautiously knowing he was up to something again.
He rolled his shoulders innocently and gave me a sly look. “What?” I asked again a bit flustered.
“Nothing, just you know. I mean earlier in the shower does that mean you were…that is…you know…thinking about me and what we just did together?” He giggled knowingly making me roll my eyes.
“Geeze you really are a fucking dickwad.” I chuckled shaking my head and not even bothering with answering his question.
Standing up, he didn’t seem bothered by my lack of response to his question, and instead let it slide. “Come-on we better get going.” He suggested starting for the door with me getting up off the stairs and reaching out grabbing his wrist.
Luke turned around and looked at me questioningly. Without a word I stepped forward and wrapped him up in my arms feeling him stiffen up for a second before returning my warm embrace. We stood together for several long moments with our warm bodies pressed up innocently against one another and I didn’t care if anyone saw us now or not. It just felt nice holding him in my arms letting him know how much he meant to me.
“Luke.” I whispered softly.
“Yeah.”
“I just want you to know you are my best friend and I care about you a lot.” I admitted feeling his grip tightening as if he was holding on for dear life to my comment.
“Really…I…I never knew you thought of me as your best friend. I mean you are older than me and we only see each other every once in a while. Why would I be your best friend?” He added with me shrugging my shoulders, but not letting him go as tears began to well up into my eyes.
“I don’t care if you are younger than me Luke. I suppose it never really mattered. To me all that mattered is the way you stuck by me when I was in a bad place after Nana died. At the funeral when everyone went back to the reception area you sat with me at the grave. For three whole hours you didn’t say a word, but sat in the chair next to me with your arms around my shoulder even after PopPop and your father said it was alright for you to leave me alone and grab a bit to eat at the reception. You refused to go and just stayed with me while I cried. You held me in your arms Luke. I’ll never forget that ever. Only a real friend would do something like that. I just wanted you to know is all. It’s important for me to let you know just how much you matter to me. Other than my own parents, PopPop, and Nana, no one’s ever really been there for me. So yeah, you are like my best friend Luke despite being two years younger.”
“Of course I stayed Latham because I…I love you.” He blurted out his body stiffening up a bit fearful about the admission, but also sniffling with emotion.
Once more his confession left him vulnerable and I couldn’t help but admire his bravery. “I know and I love you too Luke.” I declared hugging him tightly letting him know I appreciated the way he felt about me.
“Are we good?” I asked feeling him nodding his head.
“Yeah, we’re cool. I never should have doubted you.” He responded holding on to me tightly before loosening his grip.
Sighing we stepped apart and blushed a tad embarrassed because we were both crying and wiping away the liquid salt from our face. Luke glanced at me and then flashed me one of his famous wicked grins making me a bit nervous. I loved the kid to death, but sometimes he had such a wayward nature about him it could be a bit scary.
“What now?” I asked rolling my eyes with him giggling.
“Nothing…just that if you enjoyed what we did together maybe next time I can…um…you know return the favor?” He asked hopefully.
“Geeze Luke you really are hopeless.” I chuckled shaking my head with him giving me a pouting expression as if my words had hurt him, but I knew he was only goofing around this time, well at least somewhat because I could tell he wouldn’t mind things going a tad further between the two of us.
“Well you can’t blame a guy for asking you know.” He retorted, his eyes watching me intently when I began to make my way towards the outer door.
Even though my grandfather’s office was only one flight up, the door from the outside leading inside on that level was always locked. It was the only floor which had locked doors from the outside. If you wanted to go to the floor where all the offices were located you had to take the elevator up and stop in the lobby where the receptionist was located and screened all visitors.
“Well?” He insisted giggling knowing he was just being pushy now, but the idea of possibly doing more with him wasn’t something I was totally opposed to.
Grabbing on to the handle and swinging the door open I swiveled my head back around flashing him one of my own playful smiles and winking at him. “Maybe.” I replied before stepping into the hallway where the elevators were located leaving the stunned pre-teen standing with his mouth hanging open and gaping at me.
My response seemed to have caught Luke off guard with him hesitating for a moment before actually jumping for the door before it shut closed on him. “Hey, what exactly does that mean?” He asked scooting next to me while I grinned at him smugly, refusing to respond and leaving him to his own thoughts to ponder if he had heard me correctly.
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End of Chapter Nine: Missed Opportunities & Regrets
Coming soon Chapter Ten: Risky Behavior
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- Rain Bojangles
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- Walter Colton
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- Lady Marguerite Blessington, Countess of Blessington
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EXCERPT FROM INNERMOST DEMONS
Just like everything else regarding Marty, I knew getting to the bottom of this would probably take some doing, but looking back I suppose we’ve already come a long ways with piecing things together. The two of us had something special, a sort of unspoken bond, and I’m sure somewhere along the line it will all come out, just like the way I had revealed my innermost demons to the other boy.
Snuggling further up under the covers, Marty shifted in his sleep, turning over so I spooned up tightly next to him allowing my head to settle in the crook of his neck. Inhaling deeply I could smell the sweet innocence of the boy’s essence, and it made me tremble and sniffle sadly. The thought of anyone hurting such an innocent little boy was heartbreaking and frightening. I instinctively wrapped my arms around the other boy protectively, and closed my eyes rapidly fading off to sleep. Even though the smaller boy was older than me, I slipped into a land filled with cheerful thoughts where Marty could play and simply be a happy little kid. To me he would always be a small fragile little boy who was sweet and special.
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MISSED OPPORTUNITIES & REGRETS
It was the steady muffled droning noise which finally captured my attention invading my slumbering state. Slowly my ears picked up on the muted sound trying to decipher the source when it sort of hit me that it was one of those floor cleaning machines. It wasn’t loud or anything so had to be coming from out in the hallway as I slowly opened my eyes a crack noticing it was light outside with the morning rays filtering in through the bedroom windows. Marty was lying on his side facing me his warm body pressed up against my side since I was lying on my back with his arm draped over my chest.
Slowly my eyes came into focus and I detected another figure sitting on the edge of our bed and realized it was Luke. He hadn’t noticed I was awake yet so I took a moment to size him up since I hadn’t seen him for about six months now. With him living here in Eelee, while I lived in the city a few hours drive from here, we only got to see each other when Pops and I came to the cabin.
Luke was sitting on the bed with his right leg curled up on top of the mattress while his left leg, which was draped over his right ankle, hung off the edge of the bed and I could tell he had grown and filled out some. He had a solid build, not like his father’s bulky look, but rather a more firm agile athletic physique. I suppose the solid part of his build he had inherited from his father and the more lithe part from his mother. When it came right down to it he had an average build for a boy his age, but in an athletic sort of way.
He had on a multicolored horizontal striped pullover with two buttons in front and a hood. The colors of the stripes ranged from white, charcoal, burgundy, and desert tan with shades of purplish redwood being the most prominent tone while only a subtle hint from a narrow band or two of sky blue horizontal splashes. He was wearing just the typical pair of jeans that seemed to fit him comfortably. They weren’t baggy, instead, hugging his thighs snuggly without them being too constrictive. The fit emphasized the small rounded bulge and outline of his penis, which I noticed he was currently fingering making my own rubbery peg twitch.
Blushing because I was now ogling my friend’s privates, I glanced up into his cute oval shaped face, which hadn’t changed at all since the last time I’ve seen him, and sighed in relief because he hadn’t noticed me sneaking a peek at his pre-adolescent tackle and jig. He appeared to be distracted and looked really cute as I followed his gaze and nearly jumped in surprise when I realized he was staring right at my erection which had created a huge tent just beneath the blanket. It was embarrassing how I had popped a stiffie with him staring right at it, and my mind began to race because I didn’t want to make this into an even more awkward situation by reacting to it.
Movement caught my attention and my eyes traveled automatically to the source realizing it was Luke adjusting his own erection. It was pressing up against his jeans forming a nice looking outline just above his tangerine sized rounded boy bulge. The plump shaped tube of his erection appeared to be about three or three and a half inches long. It was difficult to tell because of his jeans and the way he was sitting. It’s strange because over the years I’ve never really took much notice of what Luke had between his legs, but now the sexiness of the moment was enough for my own penis to twitch again. This time it was a bit more pronounced because I heard my eleven year old friend gasp and giggle with his hand suddenly clamping over his mouth because of the noise.
Knowing he would probably glance over at me to make sure he hadn’t woken me up, I immediately closed my eyes pretending to be asleep. I felt the bed shifting around a bit so decided it was time to shift as well because it was just too damn embarrassing having my little soldier standing up at attention for all the world to see. Damn, if he ever found out I was awake I’d never live down the humiliation so I turned on my side feeling Marty shifting because of my movement.
Inhaling deeply and pretending to wake up I slowly opened my eyes, yawned and stretched while remaining on my side so my boner wouldn’t show. Swiveling my head I looked into Luke’s soft green eyes and smiled. The younger boy blushed as if he had been caught doing something a tad naughty while I noticed he had shifted into a more comfortable position, which effectively hid his erection from anyone’s scrutiny. He was sitting with his legs crossed on the bed in Indian fashion and his arms folded across his lap. He smiled back at me and shook his head as if to clear the cobwebs out of his mind.
“Hey sleepy head.” He beamed at me in that infectious smile and way he had about him.
“Hey.” I offered back. “How long you been sitting there?” I asked casually.
“Not long.” He returned glancing over towards Marty who was also stirring awake.
“Hey kiddo…you sleep alright?” I asked Marty who smiled and nodded his head before glancing over towards Luke who was flashing him a huge grin. “Oh, Marty, remember yesterday Uncle Oliva said someone wanted to come visit? Well this is his son Luke and we’ve been friends…,” I scrunched up my face in thought. “Geeze,” I glanced towards Luke for confirmation before continuing, “I guess it’s been like what, five years? I mean three years as really like friends, but we’ve known each other for about five years now.” I prodded with Luke nodding his head in agreement thinking on it as well.
“Yeah, I was around six years old and you were like eight the first time we sort of met. After that we would see each other on and off here at the hospital for about two years before we actually began to hang out and play together.” He confirmed. “Anyway, it’s nice to meet you Marty.” The eleven year old dark haired boy offered up leaning forward and extending his hand.
Marty looked at the other boy’s hand and stared at it not knowing what to do. “Um…he’s kind of shy and new to meeting other people Luke.” I tried to explain reaching out and taking my friend’s extended hand in my own, giving it a small pleading squeeze with Luke glancing at me and smiling indicating he understood.
“Anyway,” Luke began and smiled at me excitedly because he was glad to see me. “Let’s all go to the cafeteria and get a bite to eat. I’m sure it’ll be a while before they come around for breakfast and I haven’t had anything to eat yet.” He offered with me about ready to agree when suddenly realizing I was still naked under the covers.
“I…um…yeah I’m hungry too,” I admitted, “but…,” I began with Luke jumping down from the bed and then pausing when he saw my clothes piled up on the floor.
Now that he was standing up I could tell he’d grown and inch or so since I last saw him. He was about the same height as Marty, around four foot ten inches, which was a tad shorter, but he certainly was way more solid in build weighing at least five or ten pounds heavier. I’ve never really paid much attention to these sorts of things before, but now as I studied Luke I had to admit I appreciated his athletically agile yet solidly built frame.
A grin spread over my friend’s face when he noticed my clothes on the floor, and I watched him reach down to adjust himself. It made my own penis twitch and balloon up yet again and I frowned because the damn thing kept doing this a lot lately around other boys. I suppose it’s always done that sort of thing and I usually noticed it when I was around girls, but this was beginning to become a nuisance, not to mention a bit worrisome since it was happening way more often than not around boys now lately too.
My penis twitched again because Luke pinched the tip of his knob before pressing his palm against the outline of his tube shifting it into a better position. I was pretty sure he wasn’t even aware of doing it since the action was fairly typical for guys in general when they needed to put things into a more comfortable position. He glanced up with his green eyes dancing inside his oval shaped face while his thin lips spread out even bigger into a straight grin which were upturned slightly at the ends. It was such a cute smile and I felt my heart suddenly skip because of it before it constricted and tightened into a knot when I realized he knew I was probably naked under the covers.
“Well?” He urged hopefully making me realize neither of us has ever seen the other one naked before and it appeared as if he was now curious about it.
“I…um…,” I sighed glancing over at Marty who yawned and stretched, his actions pulling the covers down slightly so they settled around my waist forcing me to pull them up more. “Listen Luke, why don’t you go down and bring something back for us. I mean, Pop’s gave me some ointment to put on Marty’s injuries and all. By the time you get back we’ll be all done.” I suggested.
“Oh,” he sighed looking slightly disappointed. “What’s wrong with him?” He asked casually and now curious about what the problem was with the boy he just met as his gaze shifted over towards Marty.
“Um, he’s kind of shy about it Luke.” I tried to explain not wanting to upset Marty by talking about the injuries from his abuse.
To my relief Luke appeared to catch on and didn’t seem too upset about being left out on it. I’m sure hanging around the hospital and visiting with some of the patients he’s gotten used to not being told sometimes why they were there.
Without missing a beat he switched the subject back to breakfast. “Alright, what do you guys want?” He asked shrugging away his disappointment at not getting to see me naked, which once more made me frown recalling an innocent conversation we had when we first met.
It had been a casual kind of incident and a long time ago. I was still pretty young and naïve about such things, but the memory of it sort of stuck because it happened the first time we really sort of hung out and played together. I first met him when I was about eight years old and he was six, but the first time we actually hung out and played together was a couple of years later when I was about ten years old. It happened when we were staying at the cabin, with Pops and Nana coming in to the hospital like they usually did when they were around. Of course they checked in on a regular basis even when we weren’t at the cabin, but when we were close by like this they always came over.
By this time it had simply become routine for me to join them and I didn’t really mind. Usually I always got dropped off in the game room so it was kind of fun to hang around with some of the other kids and play some games. Even though over the years I’ve seen Luke around, the age difference at the time had been too huge so we never really played together much. This time around though for some odd reason we began to play together and were having fun when a girl about my age came into the room and joined us.
We were all having a good time until a small argument over the game about some rule or such became an issue. It really wasn’t a big deal because as kids we tend to resolve such things in short order, but the younger boy emphatically stuck up for the older girl which to his horror prompted her to lean over and kiss him on the cheek. Of course at all of eight years old Luke immediately screwed up his face and declared in a high pitched tone the typical response of ‘oooh, yuk, cooties.’
He had immediately stood up and stomped away leaving me behind to stare at the girl a bit flabbergasted and feeling awkward about it. I was only ten years old so of course didn’t have the same feelings about the whole ‘cooties’ thing, but still I didn’t know how to behave around girls, and still don’t most of the times. Blushing, and not knowing what else to do, I had gotten up and chased after the younger boy catching up to him in the hallway. He was still trying to rub the kiss away on his cheek as he glanced over at me with his face all screwed up once more declaring how all girls had cooties and shouldn’t be kissing another boy. Besides, he preferred to get a kiss from boys since he was gay.
At the time I didn’t even catch on to what he had just admitted. I mean sure I sort of knew what ‘gay’ meant, but I was only ten years old and things regarding sex and all wasn’t really something I thought about. I only knew it meant he liked boys more than girls, which in my mind didn’t mean all that much because at ten years old my daily life revolved around my friends and they were all guys too.
It had come up a time or two after that as well, but still I never really thought much about it since I wasn’t even sure Luke understood what it meant either. I mean, what eight year old boy knows he’s gay? Hell for that matter what ten or eleven year old boy knows for sure? Not that he’s said anything about it for a couple of years, but for some reason the conversation we had a few years back sort of popped into my mind because of how disappointed he looked just now about not getting to see me naked. Sure, I suppose it was probably more curiosity than anything since even I began to wonder about such things when I was his age.
It was just the typical thing that happens to boys when they reach certain ages. Hell, I was curious about that sort of thing right now wondering what Luke may be packing between his legs. From all indications it looked as if he was pretty typical down there for a boy his age. I mean, at eleven most boys are still small down there, and from the bulge I had seen it looked like Luke was about the same size as Marty or Joey.
The memory of the younger boy’s bulge while he was sitting on the hospital bed made my penis twitch again bringing me back to the moment and realize he was still waiting for an answer. “Oh…um…,” I spoke up trying to get my composure back because I was gushing over my naughty thoughts.
“Well they’ve got those waffle irons down there with syrup, whipped cream, and fruit?” He suggested my stomach growling because that sounded great.
“Yeah, that’d be perfect with some crisp bacon and orange juice.” I added making Luke smile and nod his head in agreement. “Oh, Pops account card.” I remembered noting PopPop had taken his card back.
“Oh, don’t worry my dad gave me his card.” He shrugged not giving it a second thought.
We’ve done that sort of thing often enough between the two of us. One time I paid with Pop’s card and one time he paid. It wasn’t really a big deal and one of the perks at the hospital for their workers with the meals not costing so much for staff members.
After he left the room I crawled out from under the covers and hopped down from the bed bending over for my clothes. I had my usual morning wood with my adolescent boy sausage chubbed up nice and firm while my sagging balls banged against my thighs like a tennis match. Marty rolled over on his side and was watching me closely obviously captivated with my nakedness. It made me blush, but I ignored his gaze knowing he really didn’t understand how it was kind of an awkward sort of thing to do and slid into my sweats before slipping on my shirt and shoes. Giving my erection a quick squeeze and adjustment, I reached for the tube of ointment and had the other boy roll over on to his stomach. Stealing myself, I began applying the stuff all over the back of his thighs and butt cheeks. Seeing the striations and bruising still made me wince, but it wasn’t so bad anymore as I finished up with Marty rolling over on to his back.
When he rolled over his gown flapped open and I noticed he had popped a stiffie. He was so damn cute down there and I couldn’t help myself, cracking a smile while the boy blushed looking a little frightened about it and quickly covering himself up. In the brief exposure I noticed his usually tightly packed ping pong sized knap sack had loosened up a tad with it sagging down slightly this morning. I suppose being all snuggled up under the warm covers had softened it up some.
It was strange how he reacted in regards to his nudity. On the one hand he didn’t even respond in any way when he was standing naked in front of others; not even when Pop’s was giving him the exam yesterday and touching him down there. He had looked on curiously, but it was as if he was completely innocent about the whole process acting more like the way he would if someone touched him casually on the arm or whatever.
Of course he had been upset and even frightened about people seeing his bruises and abusive whip marks, but he didn’t appear to care if someone saw his soft penis and testicles. Yet, when he got an erection, like just now, his reaction changed again, but not in the way I would expect. I mean sure any boy popping a stiffie in front of someone would be embarrassed, but with Marty I could tell he was actually frightened about someone seeing him get an erection.
This type of reaction from him worried me so I thought maybe it was a good time to sort of bring it out. “You know there’s nothing wrong with your thingy getting hard like that sometimes.” I told the boy with him looking at me curiously. “Mine does the same thing and it is all part of growing up and going through puberty you know.” I added with him furling his eyes not only because of me talking about his penis getting hard but also because there was that strange word again which I seemed to bring up all the time.
“Besides, I really like how you look down there Marty…I mean…um…you know.” I blushed because even though he may not understand the implications of a guy admitting something like this, I sure did.
The smaller boy looked at me for a moment and then grinned sheepishly, which made me smile too because I’ve noticed he’s been doing that more lately. Then out of the blue and to my utter astonishment the kid flashed me. This was such an uncharacteristic reaction on his part that it caught me by complete surprise and showed me the kid did have a sense of humor about things. It had happened so fast only providing me with a quick glimpse, but I busted up laughing because I was beginning to appreciate how the boy was slowly coming out of his shell when he was around me.
“Damn, you’re such a tease, but I’m glad about the way you aren’t so uptight anymore.” I continued to laugh and shake my head while he gazed back at me and beamed.
Slowly my laughter died down as we stared at each other a bit shyly before his gaze traveled downwards. It stopped at the tenting in my sweats since my own boner hadn’t disappeared yet, as if it could with the way I’ve been getting an eyeful of boy cock already this early in the morning, reminding me how I would need to do something about it here real soon. I just about busted a gut again when he pointed to my chubbed up fatty and glanced up giving me that quirky kind of goofy grin while tilting his head to the side.
Sniggering, I nodded my head. “Yeah, I’ve noticed you like mine too.” I teased not able to contain myself anymore and began laughing again because this whole thing was really a bit weird, but not in a bad way.
It became even more bizarre when the smaller boy reached out and hooked his finger in the waist of my sweatpants. Without any hesitation he tugged on the hem pulling it away from my waist so he could get a better look. It was strange, but for some reason his interest about the way I looked down there didn’t even bother me and I let him get a good look at me while I watched his reaction. I suppose it was because deep down I knew for him this is basically what it was, an innocent kind of inquisitiveness. What surprised me though was without any hesitation he lifted up his own gown and was now looking back and forth almost as if comparing our two differences. I couldn’t help but gawk at the way he looked between his legs. Of course I got a good look last night, but now that it was brighter in the room I began to appreciate even more how he looked down there.
His penis was shorter and thinner than mine with a small sized scrotum sack, but I liked how it looked on him. I could tell by the way he screwed up his face when he studied our differences that what I had told him last night about his size and lack of pubic hair finally began to sink in. For the first time he was beginning to understand some of the nuances in the differences between boys and how maybe he should be further along down there as well. This didn’t seem to provide him with any satisfactory answers though, and he looked up at me even more confused than before, which made me feel bad about it now.
Sighing I shrugged my shoulders. “Listen Marty it’s alright. I already told you everyone is different with when and how they change down there. It’s all just the way puberty works and will happen for you soon enough, but don’t worry about it so much.” I offered up while his green orbs gazed back at me with a look of confusion because he didn’t understand this whole puberty thing.
Even for me puberty in some regards was all a mystery and baffling at times. Of course I understood the science aspects of it along with the gist of what it’s all about, but still it didn’t provide all the answers for boys going through this phase in their lives. There were just too many confusing emotions. For Marty though it had to be even worse because I’ve grown up with this whole puberty thing being a part of my every day life in some way. As a boy growing up we just know about it in general and learn more along the way. With Marty it was all new so it had to be really bewildering. I didn’t know how to make him feel any better about it all.
“Look, I tell you what.” I began as I pulled his hand away from the hem of my sweatpants tucking everything away. “When we are alone and can talk I’ll try to explain it all a bit better for you including what happened last night…you know…when the two of us…um…well anyway.” I swallowed the lump in my throat because what happened last night still had me a bit puzzled as well because I had really enjoyed it and wouldn’t mind doing it again. “Uh…yeah…I think maybe that will be the best thing to do. When we are alone I’ll talk to you some more about it. In the meantime maybe we should get you covered up before Luke comes back.” I suggested with Marty quickly covering himself up and getting a panicked look with his eyes bulging out in fright.
“Yeah, that’s another thing I should warn you about.” I added while I climbed up on the bed getting into a comfortable sitting position next to the smaller boy before continuing my train of thought. “I know you like looking at me down there, and I don’t mind you looking at me and all, but most people don’t understand it when a guy does that so maybe just don’t do that sort of thing when other people are around.” I suggested getting another one of those confused looks.
Exhaling softly I could tell he really didn’t understand. “You’ve got to trust me on this and not stare at guys down there. I’ll explain it to you some more when we talk about puberty, alright?” I asked with him looking at me as if to say he didn’t know what the big deal was before shrugging indicating he trusted what I was telling him.
Just then Luke came walking through the door with our breakfast. He was holding a tray with three separate Styrofoam containers along with some cartons of juice. Marty’s eyes bulged outwards when he saw the waffles with whipped cream piled on top along with fresh fruit. Pouring some syrup over the concoction for him the smaller boy dove in and gave us a big grin while Luke and I busted up laughing because he had a white mustache on his upper lip from the whip cream with a small pinch of it on the tip of his nose.
After having a good laugh at Marty’s expense we all dove in enjoying our meal while we chatted away. Of course it was me and Luke carrying on the conversation and I was glad my friend didn’t make a big issue over the other boy not talking. I suppose his dad may have warned him about it.
To my surprise Luke managed to eat his entire portion while Marty and I only managed about two thirds of it before we set aside our trays. “Geeze for real Luke where the hell do you put it all.” I sighed moaning and holding my stomach while the younger dark haired boy shrugged his shoulders.
“Well I’m a growing boy.” He retorted before leaning in conspiratorially. “But when mom can’t hear my dad teases me and says it all goes into my third leg.” He giggled with me busting a gut because it sounded typical of what his dad would hint at teasingly.
“Yeah, growing being the operative word here you know.” I teased after my good chuckle about his third leg swinging between his legs switching the focus back to his physical size. “After all you are still a small kid.” I added glancing at him slyly because I knew this was a hot button topic for him.
He was an only child, but had an extended family of uncles, aunts, and cousins all of which were older and bigger than him. Since he was the baby of the family, so to speak, all of his cousins would tease him about his small average kind of build because his dad was so big.
“Hey, I’m not some little runt you know.” He objected before pouncing on me, which set of an impromptu wrestling match with arms and legs flying everywhere, not to mention some very obvious groping on Luke’s part as he snatched at my boy bits teasingly.
Even Marty ended up in the fray with him at first panicking until he realized we were just goofing around. At that point it became a free for all, which then suddenly ended when Luke snatched at Marty latching on for a second to his goods before releasing him. It was all the typical kind of innocent boy play that happened from time to time, but Marty didn’t understand. Of course the effect was him popping a stiffie and panicking because of it. Even though I had told him this was something natural it obviously alarmed the smaller boy. He immediately jumped off the bed, his face having turned completely pale with fright, and keeping his hard penis hidden headed toward the safety of the bathroom.
Luke was now firmly trapped in my arms from behind with my legs wrapped around his thighs securing him in place as we both stared at Marty running towards the bathroom. With the smaller boy’s gown tied down slackly from the back it did very little to hide the ugly marks of abuse all along the back of the boy’s thighs and butt cheeks. Luke hissed in surprise his body stiffening up in my arms just as the door closed to the bathroom.
Glancing down at my friend I could see huge tears start to well up before they tumbled down the side of his cheeks. “Wh…what happened to him Latham? Who’d do such a thing to a kid?” He hiccupped with tears flowing down steadily now and me not having any good answers since I too had asked the question when I first saw the abuse.
My friend began to cry silently in my arms catching me by surprise. Over the years Luke’s seen a lot of things while visiting with other kids here in the hospital, but I suppose this was somehow different. This pain and suffering was inflicted on purpose, so in many ways made it even worse. It seemed to hit the younger boy really hard so I snuggled up holding him gently in my arms letting the emotions run its course. When Nana died he had been there for me putting his arm around my shoulder and sitting with me while I sat there during her funeral. Now it was my turn to comfort him.
“It’s alright Luke.” I whispered softly into his ear snuggling up my cheek against his warm soft damp face.
The heat of Luke’s soft body pressed up into my chest and stomach felt kind of comforting for me too as we cuddled up together and I breathed in his soft scent. I could tell he had taken a shower earlier this morning because he still smelled of soapy water. It was Easter today and I was pretty sure he was told to get cleaned up since his entire family would be getting together to celebrate later. Knowing his mom the way I did I’m sure she made him bathe before heading to the hospital because he probably wouldn’t have time for it later. Mixed in with the soft soapy perfume was also the typical kind of boy like scent which could never truly be masked. It reminded me of cookies and dirt making me chuckle silently feeling the smaller boy slowly relax in my embrace.
Holding him like this in my arms was nice and I could feel the cozy like tingling sensation spreading throughout my insides. It was the sort of comfortable like feeling of being all wrapped up in a nice soft blanket and sitting in front of a fire while a wind storm blustered just outside of your cozy house. This was actually the first time the two of us have ever cuddled up together and I had to admit I was enjoying being connected to the younger boy in this kind of way.
“This is nice.” I heard him whisper softly glancing towards me to gauge my reaction, but his words only managed to echo my own thoughts.
Nodding my head in agreement I felt our face rubbing together softly. “Yeah,” I affirmed quietly feeling him relax even more at my admission.
He craned his neck looking into my eyes for a moment as if to really judge my response before settling his head back on the pillow allowing me to press my face against his and relax enjoying the gentle moment. “I wish we could do this all the time.” He added nervously with me scrunching up my face wondering what he meant exactly, but deep down feeling the same sentiment in some ways.
I don’t know what got into me, but I exhaled softly and turned my head slightly kissing his cheek softly. “Me too, I guess.”
He was about to say something when we heard the water turning on in the bathroom sink so instead he began to unwind from me. I guess he figured Marty was probably finishing up and would be coming back out. Two boys all snuggled up together like this would kind of look weird and the way things were in our society no boy wanted to get caught in this kind of situation, even if it was an innocent kind of thing.
“Don’t,” I spoke up with him stopping and craning his neck again to look at me questioningly. “I mean, you don’t have to worry just yet because he won’t be out for another five or ten minutes, trust me.” I added seeing his confused look, but he trusted me so settled back down.
The two of us lying on the bed together all cozy seemed kind of right at the moment and it made me feel good having him all wrapped up in my arms. The two of us fell silent not needing to say anything, and not thinking anything of it. I slowly began to rub his chest and stomach hearing him sigh in contentment and close his eyes enjoying my tender administrations. A warm fuzzy kind of feeling sent shivers all throughout my insides at the close contact between the two of us. It was a strange kind of feeling, similar to how I felt all cuddled up with Marty, yet also somehow a bit different. In a way there was the undertone of something sexual about the way Luke smelled and felt all wrapped up in my arms. I tried to shake away the feeling, but it remained there in the back of my thoughts.
We cuddled together for a couple of minutes and I was enjoying the feeling of closeness. Then I felt him reach up and place his hand over on the top of mine guiding it downwards between his legs making me gasp in surprise for a second and swallow a lump in my throat. I’ve never touched anyone intimately like this before, well at least not with a willing party who was awake. Marty was the first person I’ve ever really touched, but that was while he was asleep and it had sort of been unintended on my part with me not totally aware of it because I was jacking off at the time and in a different frame of mind. Then of course there was the two of us rubbing our hard dicks together, but that had been unintended as well.
“H-holy crap,” I managed to croak out in a hushed tone with a thrill running through me.
The smaller boy trembled in my arms with a mixture of excitement and trepidation. Luke’s always been kind of outgoing and bold, but it had to be a bit scary for him just because this sort of thing left him exposed. Even I hesitated, conflicted about this turn of events, because I’ve never done anything like this before and it made me nervous. I liked Luke a lot and we were friends, but he was still younger than me and this was about sex. It only managed to fuel my confusion about the way I’ve been feeling lately not to mention I wasn’t even sure how much he knew about sex.
I was only ten years old the first time I had an orgasm, but it had happened by mistake while lying in bed one evening and idly fiddling around with my small hard pecker. Suddenly a tingling sensation had ripped through my insides with it feeling like I was going to wet myself. It had been too late to stop with the confusing deed simply happening. When I found out I hadn’t wet the bed I was relieved since I was still having accidents back then. Thinking I had almost wet the bed frightened me enough not try again until about six or seven months later, just about the age Luke was now. I overheard friends talking about jacking off so figured out this is what had occurred so tried it again. It felt great so after that, like any typical boy, I was hooked. Even though I began jerking off when I was eleven I wasn’t sure if Luke was sexually engaged this way yet or not.
It’s also one thing to mess around with friends your own age, but this felt a bit strange because I remembered what it was like for me a couple of years ago. I was young and inexperienced about a lot of things back then, besides; I’ve never even messed around with any of my friends so right now this was new territory and a first for me as well. I had a girlfriend of sorts, but even with her I’ve never been able to get too far other than a bit of necking. This was different though because it was with another boy, but I was a horny teenager and for whatever reason had suddenly become curious about my younger friend for the first time since we’ve met. I was compelled to find out what he had going on down between his legs. So without another thought my fingers curled over the top of his tangerine shaped bulge squeezing lightly on his undercarriage allowing the heel of my palm to press up against his hard cylinder. I felt it twitch with the smaller boy gasping and his body reflexively stiffening up from the extra stimulation.
With his jeans on, it was kind of difficult to gauge size, but between his rounded bulge and plump erection it filled up my cupped palm easily as I now began to apply pressure while constricting my fingers around his fruit basket. Luke moaned from the friction and pressure being applied downwards along the length of his rubbery tuber. Exhaling softly enjoying the moment, his eyes fluttered closed and he shifted rolling more on his back with his legs spreading apart slightly allowing me more access. My curled fingers constricted ever so slightly around his bulging tangerine while the heel of my hand applied pressure and drew downwards from the tip of his penis towards the root.
“Oh…uuuuhngh,” I heard him gasp his body quivering in pleasure.
Since he was enjoying it I started the process again with me trying to find where the tip of his knob actually began. This had become wickedly awesome and I couldn’t resist the urge to take a look. Shifting my gaze downwards I gawked at the plump prepubescent outline of the eleven year old boy’s penis pressing against the fabric of his jeans. Below that was his rounded bulge about the size of a kiwi. I could even detect the two smaller oval shaped lumps of his testicles, which were about the size of cherries.
Shifting my focus back on the task at hand I felt a soft spot which at first I thought was where his penis began until I dragged the heel of my hand down a little further and bumped into a firmer area which had to be the head of his acorn sized helmet. I immediately applied more pressure and slowly began to masturbate the boy through his jeans by pressing the heel of my hand along the hard outline of his stalk. Even though I couldn’t really gauge his true size his erection felt fairly typical for a boy his age. I got the sense that it was about the same size mine was around his age, maybe even more portly. Mine had been thin back then and didn’t actually plump up until puberty set in.
Glancing back up, I smiled at the euphoric expression on Luke’s face. His eyes fluttered open and locked on to mine with his mouth hanging open slackly but still smiling in a dazed kind of way. The boy was breathing heavily completely enthralled with the bracing feelings. I knew from personal experience all the sensations which were now tingling all up and down his body.
His eyes were like mine, green, and since we’d get into some mischief at times the staff began referring to us teasingly as the hospital’s two green eyed scalawags. It’s sort of a rare thing I suppose to see two friends hanging around with green eyes and it just now dawned on me how Marty’s were green too, which was really weird when I thought about it. What were the odds of three green eyed boys hanging around together in one place?
The smaller boy moaned in my arms while I once more began applying pressure all along the length of his portly tuber. Gazing down into his cute face I really studied it closely for the very first time. It was a perfectly balanced oval shaped face with his chin area narrower than his forehead. He always seemed to keep his shades of black sweet cola colored soft hair cut short with it clipped clean up around his slightly protruding rounded ears and cropped in the back. The front was slightly longer, not a whole lot, but enough so the soft curly wavy layers of his hair hung about an inch over the front of his forehead. It was a style which I thought suited his soft features. My gaze shifted slightly taking in his dark soft narrow eyebrows that angled upwards above his tapered half mooned shaped green eyes, which in my opinion only accentuated the eloquence of his sprightly gaze.
At first glance the soft muted green hues of his eyes with undertones of soft blues and grays were a bit deceiving lulling me into a sense of calm and tranquility drawing me in further. To my surprise I discovered he had golden brown glittery like flakes surrounding his dark pupils. It was this now which made me realize just how expressively gripping and animated those piercing orbs were on him as if hiding the innate intelligence of the younger boy who I knew had a bit of roguish playfulness behind his soft demeanor. His straight smile, which always came easily to him, made me grin now as well. It was an open broad smile with a slight upward curvature on the ends of his pinkish red narrow lips. Now that he was flashing me that goofy smile of his I could clearly see his slightly crooked bright white teeth glittering between his thin lips. They were only slightly crooked and didn’t distract in any way.
My eyes were flittering from one feature to another now that I was able to actually study him closely and I noticed a couple of cute pinhead sized like moles or freckles on his face. The most noticeable one, which I thought was so cute, was just above his upper left lip as I now focused on a scar across the bridge of his nose right behind where his nostril flared out slightly. He had told me once that he got it from a lacrosse stick during one of his team’s matches with a rival and it had bled and hurt like hell. I spotted another scar that I hadn’t seen before on the left side of his nose up higher next to his left eye. Those were the only marring scar I could spot on his otherwise unblemished features.
Our eyes locked on to one another once more and I could feel Luke begin to squirm around with me applying pressure for the fourth time along the length of his rigid rubbery peg. Our faces were only inches apart and I could feel his hot breath brushing up against my lips, the urge to lean down and kiss him making me sweat. I began wondering what it would feel like to kiss him when his eyes suddenly flared open in surprise and his breathe caught in his chest.
The boy gasped with his body stiffening up for a split second before shuddering in my arms. I could feel the heat of his rubbery tubular erection when it twitched against the pressure of my palm and his undercarriage contracted just beneath my curled fingers. It was kind of wicked watching this entire event unfold in front of my eyes, but it lasted only two or three seconds before he slumped back into the mattress with his body becoming totally relaxed. He looked really cute with a peaceful pleased look on his features and beads of sweat having formed on his brow.
For a second I wasn’t sure if he had an orgasm or not because it had been such a subdued kind of event, but I felt his hard bulge just beneath my palm softening up inside of his jeans making me think perhaps he did. It was strange though because even though there were tell tale signs of an orgasm there was something almost calm like about the event without the typical obvious indications of a boy in the throes of an orgasm. If anything it had been kind of serene in the way he had climaxed in my arms with the entire incident lasting all of ten seconds from start to finish. I almost busted up laughing, but somehow managed to contain myself because I didn’t want this to be an embarrassing moment for Luke. It’s just that other than the calmness in the way it had played out, since I tended to be a bit more boisterous about my orgasms, it sort of reminded me of how quickly I tended to climax when I masturbated.
“Th-that was incredible…,” he moaned softly. “I’ve never…I didn’t know it would feel…I’ve always wanted to…,” he whispered gulping air and bouncing from one thought to another not able to focus while I screwed up my face because it sort of sounded like this was a first experience for him too, but maybe on several other levels.
He closed his eyes as if savoring the moment and the two of us fell into our own silent thoughts. To actually do something like this with someone was wickedly awesome even though I wasn’t the one busting a nut, and what’s more I had enjoyed doing it for Luke. It’s this that made me start to panic, the idea of how I had actually enjoyed touching another boy. Even though Luke had told me a while back he was gay, I wasn’t sure he really was because he’s still so young. Still, I admired his outgoing and bold nature. What he had just done was brave on his part because an act like this left him vulnerable.
Then there was another thought, what if he wanted to return the favor. The idea was appealing and my erection twitched at the prospect of someone actually touching me in a sexual way down there. Deep down I understood that boys sometimes fooled around like this and it didn’t mean anything one way or the other, but I wasn’t sure if I was ready to confront something like this right now. I was too confused about my own emotions and the way I was starting to react towards other boys, but I wasn’t sure if presented with the opportunity that I wouldn’t allow it to happen either.
The dark haired boy began to stir in my arms and when I looked down he was smiling affectionately at me. I knew what he was thinking and I began to panic because I wasn’t ready, not yet so didn’t know what to do. On the one hand I wanted him to do some sex things with me, but on the other hand I was terrified what this may mean for me. I felt his hand reaching out towards me and brush along my arms with my mind exploding in alarm because I wanted this, but was terrified about it at the same time. Then suddenly the situation changed because Marty stepped out of the bathroom. I took this moment to make my escape from the awkward situation and squirmed off the bed. Trying to hide the tenting in my sweats, I quickly bolted for the bathroom gliding past the long haired boy and closing the door behind me.
Once in the safety of the bathroom a sense of relief washed over me with my whole body trembling. Exhaling I made my way over to the sink and turned it on taking a look in the mirror at my own face. I’ve noticed that lately my features were starting to change. The face was still the same, but I was starting to get that more chiseled mature look most kids my age start to transition into. I still had that boyish kind of soft look, but just beneath the surface a more rugged kind of appearance was beginning to take shape transitioning into a typical kind of teenaged maturity.
Looking at myself I now began to feel that twinge of regret. I was older than Luke, yet he was the brave one venturing out of his comfort zone. I don’t know why I had suddenly become such a chicken shit about it. This definitely was something I wouldn’t have minded happening to me. I mean, even though it wasn’t openly discussed I knew plenty of my other friends had fooled around with each other before. I’m not sure how many of them are still kind of doing that sort of thing. I mean, some have girlfriends now too or have dated with plenty of them bragging about their conquests. Of course ninety nine percent of it was probably bullshit, but still, I was sure some of my friends still probably messed around together so they could get their rocks off.
Exhaling softly, I shook my head, “shit-shit-shit…next time.” I whispered in a hushed vow thinking that I shouldn’t be so afraid about it.
Why couldn’t I be more like Luke and just go for it? This had been one of many missed opportunities in my life lately that I was regretting, and in the silence of my thoughts I vowed if I ever got a chance with him again, or someone else for that matter, I wouldn’t be such a pussy about it and actually go for it. What’s the worse that could happen other than rejection? If I actually got rejected so what in my opinion.
Of course Marty had walked out of the bathroom just now and would have interrupted us anyway, but still, it doesn’t deflect from the issue of how I had become a chicken shit about it. Even what happened the previous evening with Marty didn’t prove anything since it had been unavoidable. Last night was not something I had actively pursued or anticipated to have happened, but rather the wondrous event unfolding unexpectedly, and in a way neither one of us had intended with it coming to a conclusion within seconds. I was pretty sure I would have chickened out last night too had it gone down differently with me actually having a conscious choice on the matter. Gritting my teeth I never wanted to feel bad about a missed opportunity like this again and vowed to never let one pass me by.
There were voices now in the other room and I knew one of the nurses had probably come into the room. She was saying something about my grandfather wanting to see Marty. There didn’t appear to be any issues going on concerning the discussion, so I figured it had been resolved or else there would have been some commotion going on.
Glancing towards the shower I was tempted to hop in and get cleaned up. It was Easter after all and I didn’t want to take one when we got back to the cabin. I know PopPop was planning on getting a small turkey with some of the trimmings and cook it in the large Dutch oven. On Easter we always built a huge fire outside of the cabin and buried the Dutch oven with the Turkey and trimmings in the coals. While most everyone else stayed at home using a stove and oven to fix their turkey dinner, we managed just fine by using a Dutch oven.
My balls were aching from the recent sexual encounter with Luke. Even though he was the one who benefited from the experience it had been no less sexually arousing for me as well. I could tell I had leaked some pre-cum while I had masturbated Luke because I felt a little wet slickness inside of my sweats now. Coming to a decision I stripped out of my clothes, started up the water adjusting the heat, and hopped inside. I quickly lathered up my hair rinsing it out before soaping up my body and pausing at my extremely sensitive thick adolescent boy erection. My fingers wrapped around my sensitive mushroom shaped knob and I began to do what came naturally to a boy my age. I could feel the tingling surge immediately building inside of me as my fingers slid over the length of my fat sausage. Without warning my balls knotted up between my legs contracting with my erection twitching and jolting just before a large string of whitish clear goop came spitting out the tip of my pee slit to splatter forcefully against the sterile white tiles of the shower stall.
“Fuck,” I gasped with my body tightening up and my toes curling. “Aaaargh, uuumph, uuumph, uuuuumph,” I groaned as the intense climax ripped through my body and another string of cum came flying out from the tip of my tuber to splatter along the tiles next to the previous batch.
My body contracted several more times, but I was pretty much spent so after the first initial two volleys of milky boy splatter I simply oozed with some of it getting on the back of my pumping fist. From start to finish just like with Luke, it had taken all of ten seconds. I finally shuddered one last time and grunted feeling completely spent, yet totally rejuvenated in a way that can only happen for a young boy in the prime of his masturbatory capabilities. It didn’t take long for me to recuperate and finish up inside the bathroom before I finally stepped out feeling much better and looking around with Luke flashing me a really goofy smile.
“Where’s Marty?” I asked panic rising up inside of me when I noticed he wasn’t around.
The dark haired boy shrugged casually as if it wasn’t a big deal. “Oh, one of the nurses said PopPop wanted to talk to him.”
“So he just left…um…without a fuss?” I asked a bit surprised.
“Sure, why not. He didn’t seem to mind.” He responded with me scrunching my face, but then shrugging my shoulders relieved that Marty was alright. “Feeling better after your shower?” Luke sniggered giving me a sideways glance making me frown again wondering what he was up to.
Knowing the boy the way I did I knew he had something up his sleeve. At times he could be a bit wicked in a playful way and it would get us into some innocent trouble. He was the one who had tricked me into that Polar Bear dip a couple of years ago and nearly laughed his ass off when I panicked about the way my balls had disappeared inside my body cavity. Of course I had been careful about keeping it hidden from sight, but he still had heard me whining about it to Pops. He was always up to something so it often made me a bit suspicious when he got that way.
“Um…yeah…that did the trick.” I replied cautiously with his impish smile spreading upwards making him look a bit goofy in that cute way he has about him.
“I’d say. It sure sounded like it. Maybe next time I can help you out with your…um…you know…special needs.” He quipped with my eyes bugging out.
The blood drained from my face because I’d forgotten that sound carried through the bathroom door and it was obvious he must have heard me jacking off during my shower. It was completely mortifying. We all did it, but no boy ever admitted to such things because it was kind of a private type of thing to do.
“What…no…I…uh…no…,” I snapped back defensively trying to deny any such behavior and noticed his expression change from amusement to almost crestfallen.
It was obvious he mistook my response and that I had hurt his feelings. I mean he had just sort of put himself out there into a vulnerable situation by encouraging me to masturbate him, and now it almost came out as me rejecting him and saying no. It was obvious he had a sort of crush on me, which was another thing I didn’t know how to handle right now because this sort of thing has never happened to me before. Sure my girlfriend liked me, but I wasn’t exactly sure what our real relationship was supposed to be. This whole girlfriend and boyfriend thing was all new territory, but Luke was like one of my best friends and we’ve been through a lot together. So seeing this side of him was a bit overwhelming to say the least.
“Luke, it’s not what you…,” I began to apologize when our door opened up and a nurse came inside interrupting us.
“Latham, I just dropped of Marty and your grandfather says as soon as you are done to come over because everything’s been squared away.” The nurse smiled sweetly at me before continuing. “I think they got everything worked out with the social workers regarding Marty so I’m sure he’s wanting to get going since it is Easter after all.” She pointed out.
“Thanks nurse Jennings.” Luke tried to smile pleasantly, but I could tell he was upset. “We were just heading over.” He added sliding past the nurse and out the door.
It took me a second to realize he had left me just standing there without any warning, and by the time it sunk in he was halfway down the hall already. Excusing myself as well from nurse Jennings I immediately took off after him. By the time I caught up he was already waiting by the elevator.
Glancing over towards him I could tell he was upset and trying to keep his composure and my stomach was all tied up in a knot because I felt bad about the way things had come out after my shower. We both stood side by side a bit awkwardly. I mean it wasn’t like I had rejected him even though it may have come off that way. It was just that he had caught me off guard. It had started with him shoving my hand between his legs encouraging me to grope and masturbate him, then afterwards finding out he had heard me getting off and blowing my nut in the shower. It had been humiliating to say the least so of course I hadn’t handled it well at all.
Still, I now felt awful about everything and I wanted so badly to take it all back, but I couldn’t. I didn’t know what to do when the elevator chimed indicating it had arrived. My whole insides was writhing around with regret and just as the elevator door began to open I suddenly reached out, grabbed Luke by the wrist, and yanked him towards the door leading to the stairs. The move caught him by surprise for a second, but before he could protest I shoved open the door and pulled him with me into the empty stairwell.
“Listen Luke…,” I began, but he immediately interjected venting his frustration.
“I get it. Don’t worry I won’t say anything about what happened.” He cut in curtly with me trying to get a word in edge wise.
“But…,” I began getting interrupted again.
“I mean, it’s just I thought you were different. It’s not easy you know…to let someone know about…you know…being gay and all. You’re the only one I’ve ever told. I mean I really thought you were different, but I get it.” He snapped at me a bit defensively.
“No, Luke it isn’t…,” I began again confused by the whole event because even though he had mentioned it a time or two I still wasn’t sure if he actually was gay, but he wasn’t letting me get a word in edge wise which was kind of frustrating.
“If you don’t want to hang around anymore because of it, then that’s perfectly fine.” He added in a hurt tone.
“Stop it.” I huffed totally flustered. “Just give it a rest already.” I barked at him tossing my hands up in the air in total exasperation with the younger boy taking a step back in shock and both of us falling into silence now.
Taking a deep breath to calm myself I glanced towards my friend who was staring anywhere but at me, his expression indicating he was still upset and disappointed. “Geeze for real Luke,” I spoke softly taking a seat on the stairs leading up to the next level simply confused on so many levels and falling silent for a moment trying to gather my thoughts, but they remained all jumbled up.
“It’s not you Luke. I mean, hell do you know how embarrassing it is for a friend of mine to hear me…um…you know…getting off while I’m taking a shower.” I added taking the moment to look over the railing and down the stair landings to make sure no one was listening.
Luke seemed to finally take notice and shifted his gaze towards me his face screwing up in thought while I tried again with my explanation. “Shit, of course all guys know everyone else does that sort of thing, but still, you know how it is?” I sighed shaking my head because even now it was embarrassing to talk about it with him as I glanced towards my friend to gauge his reaction.
His expression isn’t what I expected because he was staring back at me with his cheeks blushing several shades of red now from my latest comment. For some reason his comments right after I had felt him up sort of came flittering back to mind. Between me saying most of us know we all do that sort of thing, combined with his near admission while he was recuperating from what I think was an orgasm for him, made me wonder if he actually did jack off yet or not. It wouldn’t be so unusual for him not to have started that sort of activity yet since he was still only eleven years old. At eleven, even though I had begun to jack off, I was still naïve about it back then.
Of course he was like one of my best friends and all so we’ve talked about a lot of things including sex in general, but never anything specific like one of us jacking off or anything. Even though we were close friends he was still two years younger than me so most of the times we just weren’t on the same page when it came to sex. Now, at eleven years old he was just beginning to get those strange thoughts about sex which all boys go through. If those included thoughts of boys so what, it didn’t make him gay or anything. At least not yet in my opinion, and if it turned out he was gay I don’t think it would matter one way or the other to me. All I knew is that he had been there for me when I was having a hard time when Nana died.
His expression seemed to soften up now as if he realized this hadn’t been about me rejecting him, and I suppose it set me at ease as well because I suddenly blurted out something I hadn’t even intended to bring up. “Are you really gay?”
“What…I…uh…of course I am. I’ve told you that before.” He interjected defensively and looking at me more cautiously again wondering if maybe I was upset about it.
“Well yeah, I mean when you were all of eight years old. Fuck Luke, what eight year old boy knows he’s gay. Hell, I was like ten at the time myself and I didn’t even know exactly what it meant. I mean, sure I knew in general what it meant, but not really in the big picture of things. I didn’t even think much of it at the time.” I retorted shaking my head with both of us falling into our own thoughts before he sighed and took a seat next to me mumbling.
“Well, we’ve sort of talked about it since then.” He offered up with me scrunching my face because I really didn’t recall any discussions of substance in that regard.
“Um…no…not really? I mean, maybe it was brought up in general, but nothing specific and not for a while now. Hell Luke, at that age we all think girls have cooties, but it doesn’t make us gay or anything.” I added letting him know I didn’t think much of his claim since he had been so young at the time.
“Yeah but…,” He started with his voice petering out and falling quiet.
“What?” I asked pressing him to talk because I didn’t want us to leave feeling bad about things.
“It’s just not about the whole cooties thing when I was eight. It’s the way I feel about things now. I mean I’ve always sort of had a thing…um…I mean…I’ve always sort of had…you know…feelings towards you and all, but lately, they seem…I don’t know, maybe like it is more. Not only that, but lately I’ve been thinking about other boys in general…you know…like in sex and all.” He admitted glancing at me and then blushing because this had become very personal and left him extremely exposed. “It’s just so confusing.” He added shrugging his shoulders.
“Yeah, well welcome to the club.” I sighed wrapping my arm around his shoulders. “Luke you’re like my best friend and I don’t care if you are gay or not. It’s just I don’t think an eight year old kid or an eleven year old one really knows for sure.” I tried to ease his mind about it letting him know if this really is who he was it wouldn’t matter to me.
The smaller boy nodded his head and seemed relieved that him being gay didn’t matter to me with the two of us getting quiet again struggling with our own thoughts. “What exactly do you mean by ‘welcome to the club’? I mean, why would you even say something like that to me?” He wondered out loud.
Rubbing my face with the palms of my hands I groaned quietly shaking my head. This was a discussion I hadn’t intended because it was getting very personal for both of us. Even if we were close friends, he was still only eleven years old and I wasn’t sure how appropriate some things were to bring up to him. Not to mention sometimes things were just too personal, but in some ways I almost felt as if he was owed an explanation since he had trusted me with his personal feelings. He’s never confided to anyone else, not even his own family, but had trusted me with his secret about how he may be gay. Even at eight years old he had known it wasn’t acceptable to come out and say you were gay.
Glancing towards Luke his expression was neutral and he waited patiently for me to respond. His gaze shifted away as if giving me some space to take my time with an answer. He was just so damn cute I felt the urge to lean over and kiss him, which only managed to confuse me even more. My eyes took all of him in and I couldn’t help the lustful urges; especially, when my eyes settled on the eleven year old boy’s small bulge. It’s strange, but I’ve never looked at him like this before and yes, he’s grown a bit taller and had filled out a bit more, but there was something else going on as well. It was as if he’s matured more since I’ve last seen him. He was still a little boy, but now it was like he was a sexual being as well. It allowed me to see him differently, in a more sexual kind of context.
Shaking my head I suppose there wasn’t any harm in letting him know about some of my own struggles with my emotions lately. “Listen Luke, we all get those kinds of feelings. You know…doing stuff with other boys. Lately it’s like I’ve been getting these thoughts way more often.” I admitted to him watching his reaction closely.
His thin lips pursed in thought with his dark eyebrows bunching together. “Really, but I thought you have a girlfriend. Do the two of you…uh…what I mean is, well are you saying girls don’t turn you on?” He wondered out loud.
“What?” I asked a bit loudly and taken aback, but quickly calming down not wanting him to mistake my reaction. “Um…no…I mean yes. Shit.” I cussed seeing Luke’s amused expression with his lips spreading wide and curling upwards at the ends into a quirky smile which was just too damn cute.
“Well, which is it?” He asked making me roll my eyes.
“Fuck Luke, you can be a little prick at times.” I chuckled in a friendly tone hearing him giggle as well because I’ve told him this on a number of occasions. “Well the answer is…duh…you moron. Of course girls turn me on, but it’s just lately I’ve sort of had thoughts about guys too. You know in my dreams and sometimes…,” I left it hanging and blushed because the second part was kind of embarrassing to admit.
Luke stared at me waiting for me to finish and I knew he wasn’t going to let it go. “Um…well you know, sometimes when I…when…,” I couldn’t say it out loud so simply balled up my fist and gave the universal jacking off sign.
“Oh…you mean when you…,” he left it hanging as well also blushing with his mouth giving me that big ‘oh’ expression before he got that wicked smile again.
“What?” I asked a bit cautiously knowing he was up to something again.
He rolled his shoulders innocently and gave me a sly look. “What?” I asked again a bit flustered.
“Nothing, just you know. I mean earlier in the shower does that mean you were…that is…you know…thinking about me and what we just did together?” He giggled knowingly making me roll my eyes.
“Geeze you really are a fucking dickwad.” I chuckled shaking my head and not even bothering with answering his question.
Standing up, he didn’t seem bothered by my lack of response to his question, and instead let it slide. “Come-on we better get going.” He suggested starting for the door with me getting up off the stairs and reaching out grabbing his wrist.
Luke turned around and looked at me questioningly. Without a word I stepped forward and wrapped him up in my arms feeling him stiffen up for a second before returning my warm embrace. We stood together for several long moments with our warm bodies pressed up innocently against one another and I didn’t care if anyone saw us now or not. It just felt nice holding him in my arms letting him know how much he meant to me.
“Luke.” I whispered softly.
“Yeah.”
“I just want you to know you are my best friend and I care about you a lot.” I admitted feeling his grip tightening as if he was holding on for dear life to my comment.
“Really…I…I never knew you thought of me as your best friend. I mean you are older than me and we only see each other every once in a while. Why would I be your best friend?” He added with me shrugging my shoulders, but not letting him go as tears began to well up into my eyes.
“I don’t care if you are younger than me Luke. I suppose it never really mattered. To me all that mattered is the way you stuck by me when I was in a bad place after Nana died. At the funeral when everyone went back to the reception area you sat with me at the grave. For three whole hours you didn’t say a word, but sat in the chair next to me with your arms around my shoulder even after PopPop and your father said it was alright for you to leave me alone and grab a bit to eat at the reception. You refused to go and just stayed with me while I cried. You held me in your arms Luke. I’ll never forget that ever. Only a real friend would do something like that. I just wanted you to know is all. It’s important for me to let you know just how much you matter to me. Other than my own parents, PopPop, and Nana, no one’s ever really been there for me. So yeah, you are like my best friend Luke despite being two years younger.”
“Of course I stayed Latham because I…I love you.” He blurted out his body stiffening up a bit fearful about the admission, but also sniffling with emotion.
Once more his confession left him vulnerable and I couldn’t help but admire his bravery. “I know and I love you too Luke.” I declared hugging him tightly letting him know I appreciated the way he felt about me.
“Are we good?” I asked feeling him nodding his head.
“Yeah, we’re cool. I never should have doubted you.” He responded holding on to me tightly before loosening his grip.
Sighing we stepped apart and blushed a tad embarrassed because we were both crying and wiping away the liquid salt from our face. Luke glanced at me and then flashed me one of his famous wicked grins making me a bit nervous. I loved the kid to death, but sometimes he had such a wayward nature about him it could be a bit scary.
“What now?” I asked rolling my eyes with him giggling.
“Nothing…just that if you enjoyed what we did together maybe next time I can…um…you know return the favor?” He asked hopefully.
“Geeze Luke you really are hopeless.” I chuckled shaking my head with him giving me a pouting expression as if my words had hurt him, but I knew he was only goofing around this time, well at least somewhat because I could tell he wouldn’t mind things going a tad further between the two of us.
“Well you can’t blame a guy for asking you know.” He retorted, his eyes watching me intently when I began to make my way towards the outer door.
Even though my grandfather’s office was only one flight up, the door from the outside leading inside on that level was always locked. It was the only floor which had locked doors from the outside. If you wanted to go to the floor where all the offices were located you had to take the elevator up and stop in the lobby where the receptionist was located and screened all visitors.
“Well?” He insisted giggling knowing he was just being pushy now, but the idea of possibly doing more with him wasn’t something I was totally opposed to.
Grabbing on to the handle and swinging the door open I swiveled my head back around flashing him one of my own playful smiles and winking at him. “Maybe.” I replied before stepping into the hallway where the elevators were located leaving the stunned pre-teen standing with his mouth hanging open and gaping at me.
My response seemed to have caught Luke off guard with him hesitating for a moment before actually jumping for the door before it shut closed on him. “Hey, what exactly does that mean?” He asked scooting next to me while I grinned at him smugly, refusing to respond and leaving him to his own thoughts to ponder if he had heard me correctly.
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End of Chapter Nine: Missed Opportunities & Regrets
Coming soon Chapter Ten: Risky Behavior
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